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Old 02-28-2005, 01:36 AM   #1
PeterR
 
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Dojo: Shodokan Honbu (Osaka)
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Dysfunctional Ki Skills

OK I couldn't help myself but I want stories of the weird, improbable and downright delusional. True stories preferred but this being the Humor section - artistic license encouraged.

Yellow Bamboo and Ki balls have been done - give me something new.

Peter Rehse Shodokan Aikido
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Old 02-28-2005, 01:40 AM   #2
batemanb
 
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Re: Dysfunctional Ki Skills

I can open the door with my ki, I can even move a car with the aid of a ki

A difficult problem is easily solved by asking yourself the question, "Just how would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
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Old 02-28-2005, 04:05 AM   #3
stuartjvnorton
 
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Re: Dysfunctional Ki Skills

Quote:
Bryan Bateman wrote:
I can open the door with my ki, I can even move a car with the aid of a ki



Can I join your cult and have you insist I call you "Super Soke Sifu Professor"?

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Old 02-28-2005, 05:18 AM   #4
batemanb
 
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Re: Dysfunctional Ki Skills

Quote:
Stuart Norton wrote:


Can I join your cult and have you insist I call you "Super Soke Sifu Professor"?

Hey,

If I give you my ki, you too can open the door

A difficult problem is easily solved by asking yourself the question, "Just how would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
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Old 02-28-2005, 10:33 AM   #5
Bronson
 
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Re: Dysfunctional Ki Skills

I've witnessed (twice) my old housemate break glass with the power of his anger. Once he was standing near a glass candle holder while pissed off and it just broke for no reason. The second time he broke the rear side window of his car when he touched it (he had locked himself out of his car). He claims that it has happened a couple of other times throughout his life...but I didn't witness those.

Bronson

"A pacifist is not really a pacifist if he is unable to make a choice between violence and non-violence. A true pacifist is able to kill or maim in the blink of an eye, but at the moment of impending destruction of the enemy he chooses non-violence."
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Old 03-03-2005, 03:29 AM   #6
maikerus
Dojo: Roppongi Yoshinkan Aikido / Roppongi, Tokyo, Japan
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Re: Dysfunctional Ki Skills

My brother couldn't wear a digital watch because it would always stop working after a couple of weeks. Does that count as ki?

I don't know if he has tried in recent years.

--Michael

Hiriki no yosei 3 - The kihon that makes your head ache instead of your legs
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Old 03-03-2005, 06:54 AM   #7
ian
 
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Re: Dysfunctional Ki Skills

Several years ago I was training in a small dojo in England. I had some disagreement with another student which had seemed to go on for months and it just got more and more bitter. One day we were both called to do a grading for the same rank at the same time. When I was uke for him he was being really rough and put on a really painful nikkyo. It can to my turn and he attacked with a shomen-uchi. I was about to do a really powerful throw, a koshi-nage I think, with as much ki as I could muster, but at the last moment the uke moved and my ki leaked out everywhere, over the mats, over the walls. It took four grown men with mops and buckets 3 hrs to clean up my ki. Jes', I'll never do that again. PS. I hope you can tell this was a joke.
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Old 03-03-2005, 07:00 AM   #8
ian
 
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Re: Dysfunctional Ki Skills

This is a true story which an (ex) girlfriend will happily testify to. You've seen that exercise where someone sits on a chair and they can be lifted with the power of ki through people's fingers - well, I unconciously did a variation on this. I was at a party (my own) and I was very drunk. I was sitting on the window-sill with a friend sat on my knee (don't ask me - maybe there was a shortage of seats). For some reason I was bouncing her up and down with my knees. After about 10 bounces, with only the power of my ki, I broke the window behind me (or maybe it was my fat arse? - who knows, non-believers make up a mechanistic explanaitions for everything).
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Old 03-06-2005, 02:06 PM   #9
Tim Gerrard
 
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Re: Dysfunctional Ki Skills

With the power of ki I can seal possestions in an inpregnable metal box. Unfortunalty I lost my Ki and now I don't have any money...

Aikido doesn't work? My Aikido works, what on earth are you practicing?!
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Old 03-07-2005, 07:24 AM   #10
Steve Mullen
Dojo: White Rose (Sunderland)
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Re: Dysfunctional Ki Skills

ah tim, you truly deserve the title special boy

"No matter your pretence, you are what you are and nothing more." - Kenshiro Abbe Shihan
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Old 08-31-2005, 08:42 AM   #11
Steve Mullen
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Re: Dysfunctional Ki Skills

i have trouble controling my key, it escapes and opens thing, i lost my job at the jail.... true story.....very sad, anyone want to employ me as an escapeologist

"No matter your pretence, you are what you are and nothing more." - Kenshiro Abbe Shihan
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Old 09-19-2005, 12:44 AM   #12
dyffcult
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Re: Dysfunctional Ki Skills

Hrmmm....

Does functionability after a certain level of beer (or alcohol) consumption constitute ki power? And if so, at what level?

(Expecting lots of comments from the Brits, Scots, Irish, Aussies, Kiwis, and all Americans of similar discent)
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