Welcome to AikiWeb Aikido Information
AikiWeb: The Source for Aikido Information
AikiWeb's principal purpose is to serve the Internet community as a repository and dissemination point for aikido information.

Sections
home
aikido articles
columns

Discussions
forums
aikiblogs

Databases
dojo search
seminars
image gallery
supplies
links directory

Reviews
book reviews
video reviews
dvd reviews
equip. reviews

News
submit
archive

Miscellaneous
newsletter
rss feeds
polls
about

Follow us on



Home > AikiWeb Aikido Forums
Go Back   AikiWeb Aikido Forums > General

Hello and thank you for visiting AikiWeb, the world's most active online Aikido community! This site is home to over 22,000 aikido practitioners from around the world and covers a wide range of aikido topics including techniques, philosophy, history, humor, beginner issues, the marketplace, and more.

If you wish to join in the discussions or use the other advanced features available, you will need to register first. Registration is absolutely free and takes only a few minutes to complete so sign up today!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-15-2003, 07:18 PM   #1
Jenna Sanderson
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1
Offline
Wedding ring?

Hello all.

I took one semester of aikido in college (required phys. ed class for credit). I enjoyed it immensely but couldn't continue with the college club after that due to a conflicting class schedule.

I am a recent graduate and want to get back into aikido, this time on a more serious and long-term basis. When I trained in college, the dojo rule was that ALL jewelry, earrings and wedding bands included, had to be removed. I had no problem with this, and understand why it would be bad to have protruding or sharp edges on jewelry.

I am engaged and will be married this summer. Obviously, I wouldn't wear my diamond to train (OUCH that could hurt!), but once my wedding band goes on, it's not coming off. Neither my fiance or I think it's appropriate to remove them for any reason. Incidentally, my ring is a 4 mm comfort fit platinum band...nothing sticking out or pointy.

I'd ask the sensei of the local dojo, but I am relocating to an as-yet unknown location right after the wedding...so I don't know what my local dojo would be! Does anyone on here wear their wedding band to train? I would hate for this to be a hindrance, but I simply can't see myself doing aikido again if it means my ring has to come off.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2003, 08:15 PM   #2
Dave Porter
 
Dave Porter's Avatar
Dojo: Kokkishinkan Dojo, Childersburg, Alabama
Location: Alabama
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 10
Offline
Hi, I think it really depends on the rules of the Dojo. I wear mine, but I've been asked to remove it before. Just a thought from someone who's been married for 11 years, you have a noble senitment, but I think your going to find it's not always feasible. Allow me to offer two stories about wedding bands and personal safety.

My father is a mechanic. He accidentally touched his wedding ring against a Positive terminal on a battery and burned a hole in his finger (He should have removed it)...VERY MUCH OUCH!!!

Second, My brother was handicapped and confined to a wheelchair. I was closing the chair once and it collapsed on my hand, smashing my ring into my finger (Unforseeable accident.) Another case of VERY MUCH OUCH.

Anyhow, I hope you can see my point on this. Sometimes things happen irregardless of our intentions, however good or noble. But, I would offer this, If you are unwilling to remove your ring (For your own safety) for an hour to train, then maybe Martial arts arent really for you. I've studied Karate, Taekwondo, Ju Jitsu, and Kempo, and am now an Aikidoka, it is understood in any art, the rules are really for your safety. Hope you find what you're looking for.

~Dave~

~Shugyo~ Total Dedication.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2003, 08:17 PM   #3
Dave Porter
 
Dave Porter's Avatar
Dojo: Kokkishinkan Dojo, Childersburg, Alabama
Location: Alabama
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 10
Offline
let me amend that, Martial arts are for everyone. But if something this small is going to keep you off the mat, IMO you don't want to train that badly. Just my opinion.

~Dave~

~Shugyo~ Total Dedication.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2003, 08:36 PM   #4
PeterR
 
PeterR's Avatar
Dojo: Shodokan Honbu (Osaka)
Location: Himeji, Japan
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 3,054
Japan
Offline
Come on Dave - she's just about to get married. Allow a little romance and sweet mushy stuff. It usually comes down a few notches eventually.

I actually don't think a wedding band is that much a danger to your training partners and for Aikido beginners it really does not need to be an issue. Eventually, if that's where you want to go, it is possible to break or dislocate a finger in training. I would rather have taken the ring off before hand and not have it cut off.

Been happily married 12 years and I don't wear a wedding ring. Too dangerous for my work, my play and of no significance to how I feel about my wife (I too can be mushy).
Quote:
Dave Porter wrote:
let me amend that, Martial arts are for everyone. But if something this small is going to keep you off the mat, IMO you don't want to train that badly. Just my opinion.

Peter Rehse Shodokan Aikido
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2003, 08:50 PM   #5
Kevin Wilbanks
Location: Seattle/Southern Wisconsin
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 788
Offline
It sounds like your idiosyncratic beliefs about the symbolism of the ring are extreme enough to put this in a category of seeking special treatment or exemption for a religious belief. I tend to come down on the side of not going too far to accomodate this kind of zealotry, personally, regardless of how laudable or holy the purported reason/pretext. Basically, if the rules are good enough for everyone else, why are they not good enough for you? What makes you better than others and entitled to an exemption? It seems hard for me not to see this kind of thing as an attempt to generate ego-aggrandizing drama, to set oneself apart from the crowd... a manufactured 'high-noon' showdown between the importance of your marriage and the importance of Aikido... If that kind of thing floats your boat, enjoy it, but don't be surprised if it goes over like a lead balloon with any given sensei and group of Aikidoka.

On the other hand, if it really isn't about all that, just put a strip of white athletic tape over it. This is what people do who have long nails for guitar playing that can't be trimmed, or unremovable piercings.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2003, 10:30 PM   #6
jxa127
Dojo: Itten Dojo -- Mechanicsburg, PA
Location: Harrisburg, PA
Join Date: Jul 2000
Posts: 420
Offline
Re: Wedding ring?

Quote:
Jenna Sanderson wrote:
Hello all.

I am engaged and will be married this summer. Obviously, I wouldn't wear my diamond to train (OUCH that could hurt!), but once my wedding band goes on, it's not coming off. Neither my fiance or I think it's appropriate to remove them for any reason. Incidentally, my ring is a 4 mm comfort fit platinum band...nothing sticking out or pointy.
Congratulations! My wife and I just celebrated our 1st anniversary this past Sunday.

My sensei has no trouble with me keeping the ring on to train (6mm gold comfort band), but I do, literally, have trouble keeping it on when I train. It gets somewhat cold in our dojo, my finger shrinks, and the ring gets very loose. So I keep it in my gym bag, in its box when I train.

It's wonderful being married, and I LOVE wearing my ring. I just don't want anything bad to happen to it when I'm training.

Regards,

-Drew

----
-Drew Ames
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2003, 10:47 PM   #7
akiy
 
akiy's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 5,851
Offline
I doubt anyone would ask you to take off any kind of ring or jewelry outside of safety reasons. Like Peter above, I've heard of at least one story where a person had to have their ring cut off from the finger due to it getting whacked too hard. Whether it's a martial urband legend or not, I'd personally think twice before wearing a ring or any kind of jewelry on the mat.

-- Jun

Please help support AikiWeb -- become an AikiWeb Contributing Member!
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2003, 10:54 PM   #8
PeterR
 
PeterR's Avatar
Dojo: Shodokan Honbu (Osaka)
Location: Himeji, Japan
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 3,054
Japan
Offline
It wasn't Aikido but I was present when one lady slammed the car door on her two smaller fingers. When it happened she cursed and went looking for some ice - about fifteen minutes later she started screaming and yes it had to be cut off. I had forgotten about weapons work - I can easily see the same effect.
Quote:
Jun Akiyama (akiy) wrote:
I've heard of at least one story where a person had to have their ring cut off from the finger due to it getting whacked too hard.

Peter Rehse Shodokan Aikido
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2003, 11:38 PM   #9
Tadhg Bird
 
Tadhg Bird's Avatar
Dojo: New School Aikido, Stockton, CA
Location: Casper, WY
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 55
United_States
Offline
Our dojo rule is "no protruding jewlery" as for my ring (silver, with celtic knotwork (was dirt poor when I wed)) it never ever comes off. Well, becuase I've gained some weight, and my finger is just to damn fat for it to come off now. If its ever to be removed, it will have to be cut. Luckily, if that day does come, my wifes old ring, that matches this one exactly is available, since she now wears a gold band. Actually we traded our rings back and forth often depending on which ring fit which person at the time. They are both the same size, but one is stretched a bit bigger than the other. I should have put the bigger ring on years ago.

"Words and letters can never adequately describe Aikido -- its meaning is revealed only to those who are enlightened through hard training." -- Ueshiba Morihei O Sensei
--

http://www.AikidoStuff.com
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2003, 12:24 AM   #10
Kelly Allen
Dojo: Friends Dojo
Location: Winnipeg
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 190
Offline
I got to say comfort fit ring or not I saw a bad one when I was a kid training in Judo. The Jewlery rule applied there as well and one of the students didn't remember to take his band off. He was thrown. The guy who threw him lost his balance and went down on one knee right on his ring. This not only caused the ring wearer to dislocate his ring finger the ring had to be cut off. The guy who landed on his finger cracked his knee cap. Ouch! Class ended ealy that night. And no one wore jewlery again.

Is it a safty issue? You bet! Not just for you but the ppl you train with as well.

If you can find a dojo that don't care about jewlery the more power to you. But I personally won't train with anyone who wears jewlery. This topic has made me flash back to the sounds of the screams of pain both of them did when this happened. (Shudder)
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2003, 02:53 AM   #11
erikmenzel
  AikiWeb Forums Contributing Member
 
erikmenzel's Avatar
Dojo: Aikidojo Leiderdorp
Location: Leiden
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 530
Netherlands
Offline
I always ask people to take off any rings in our dojo.

I have been in the unfortunate circumstances to have seen somebody break his finger (with ring) by just slapping the mat while softly rolling, and having to rush this person to the hospital to have his ring cut off in order to safe the finger. It is something I never want to experience again. To all the skeptics that claim that wearing a ring is not that dangerous: I have seen that it can go horribly wrong!! Dont take that risk!! Be safe!!

Erik Jurrien Menzel
kokoro o makuru taisanmen ni hirake
Personal:www.kuipers-menzel.com
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2003, 04:04 AM   #12
PeterR
 
PeterR's Avatar
Dojo: Shodokan Honbu (Osaka)
Location: Himeji, Japan
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 3,054
Japan
Offline
Gross wedding ring stories. The grand-dad of a friend was missing his ring finger on his useless arm. Apparently during WWII he jumped off the back of a 2-ton truck - you know the kind, with steel arches that you could cover with canvas. His wedding ring caught as he jumped and not only took the finger but apparently a whole lot of other inside stuff with it almost to the armpit. I'm still trying to figure the anatomy of it out but that stuff included some major nerves hence the now useless and shriveled arm.

Peter Rehse Shodokan Aikido
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2003, 04:53 AM   #13
paw
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 768
Offline
Congrats!

I wear my wedding ring during practice, never had any problems. I've been asked to take it off, and that's no big deal either.

For what it's worth, I've seen far more injuries result from wearing hakama than wearing wedding rings. Kevin's advice of using athletic tape sounds fine to me if you don't want to take the ring off.

Regards and best wishes,

Paul
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2003, 06:19 AM   #14
joan
Dojo: Michigan Technological University
Location: Houghton MI
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 27
Offline
I agree with Paul about injuries being more common with hakama.

We have no hard and fast rules, more like common sense prevails. I've worn my band for 23 years now and the only time in training when I've thought twice was during weapons work. But no one else including the sensei has ever said anything. People wear their rings (or not) according to preference.

BTW when I've worked in the ER we have ways of removing rings besides cutting them off--this has come in handy with other finger injuries.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2003, 06:21 AM   #15
rachmass
Dojo: Aikido of Cincinnati/Huron Valley Aikikai
Location: Somerset Michigan
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 794
Offline
Congratulations on your engagement, and your returning to training.

I sometimes wear my wedding ring, but usually remove it because it is safer altogether. Sometimes my fingers swell and it is too difficult to get off, in which case I leave it on (it's just a small, typical band) and its never been a problem. I also am the sensei of my small dojo, and have no problem with someone keeping their wedding ring on if they really want to. See lots of folks out there training with bands on (no protruding stones, or stones period).
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2003, 06:36 AM   #16
Kelly Allen
Dojo: Friends Dojo
Location: Winnipeg
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 190
Offline
Quote:
paul watt (paw) wrote:
Congrats!

I wear my wedding ring during practice, never had any problems. I've been asked to take it off, and that's no big deal either.

For what it's worth, I've seen far more injuries result from wearing hakama than wearing wedding rings. Kevin's advice of using athletic tape sounds fine to me if you don't want to take the ring off.

Regards and best wishes,

Paul
Tape won't do much for you if someone lands on it like I mentioned above.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2003, 06:43 AM   #17
Avery Jenkins
 
Avery Jenkins's Avatar
Dojo: Litchfield Hills Aikikai
Location: Litchfield, CT
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 139
Offline
I always take my wedding ring off when I'm doing aikido or manual labor. So far, it hasn't had any detrimental effects on my marriage (14 years and still going strong, with the usual occaisional inclination to whack the other party upside the head with a frying pan). I think you'll find that the strength of your relationship lies far less in the symbology of the ring than it does in the way you say good morning.

Avery

Avery Jenkins
www.docaltmed.com
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2003, 07:45 AM   #18
Jeff Tibbetts
Dojo: Cedar River Aikikai
Location: Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 142
United_States
Offline
You know, I can't help but imagine a situation where a botched yonkyo or something causes the ring to slip off... No-one lands on it, no fingers are broken, but maybe the ring-wearer starts hyperventilating (because they must not love their spouse, how will they tell them?) and needs to go to the emergency room.

I'm kidding, of course. I don't mean any disrespect, but I'm married as well and a ring is really just a ring. I treat my ring with the same reverance as my weapons - which is a lot, but my weapons go back in their bag with a bow just as my ring goes back on my finger. They are symbols, and all their meaning is applied to them by you and your loved one. It's only bad to remove them if you make it that way in your mind, and is that a healthy thing to do? I think that the above-mentioned piece of short fiction is farciful, but I wonder, would you resent someone for inadvertantly removing your ring? Far be it for me to try to judge you, but I think that part of what we do every day involves sacrifices. Sometimes those sacrifices are real: our blood, our energy, our ego; and sometimes we make them into more important than they really are: our time, our sweat, our ego...

If the Nightingale doesn't sing-
wait
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2003, 08:03 AM   #19
SeiserL
 
SeiserL's Avatar
Dojo: Roswell Budokan, Kyushinkan Dojo, Aikido World Alliance
Location: Roswell, GA USA
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 3,715
United_States
Offline
I never take my ring off. Never bothers or injured my training partners, actually an assistance for them in applying Sankyo when they grab the fingers.

Congratulations!

Lynn Seiser PhD
Yondan Aikido & FMA/JKD
We do not rise to the level of our expectations, but fall to the level of our training. Train well. KWATZ!
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2003, 08:27 AM   #20
Paul Smith
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 59
Offline
Due to injury, no longer training. However, from 1997 on, wore it continuously (and training intensely). No problem, and I do not know of anyone who would have a problem with wearing a simple band.

Kevin Wilbanks - Glad you've got such a god like handle on human behavior. Let me know (if you deign to speak in a language we mere mortals can grasp) where your shrine is and I'll be sure to come (with shaking knees).

Paul Smith
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2003, 09:29 AM   #21
Paul Smith
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 59
Offline
A bit of a followup, re: Kevin's post. Under the guise of being an iconoclast regarding religious/idiosyncratic "zealotry," Kevin, you proceed to say "if the rules are good enough for every one else, why not you." Can't have it both ways. Calling people fools or zealots for having individual beliefs does not square with telling them to tow the party line.

People have beliefs; each to their own. I am an atheist, but would never become religious in my atheism by declaring "religious believers" are "idiosyncratic" fools, and need to convert to my way of thinking.

Paul Smith
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2003, 09:30 AM   #22
Bryan Webb
Dojo: Aikido of Birmingham
Location: Trussville Alabama
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 26
Offline
We make removing a band an option. Since we work out on mats over a hardwood gym floor , we have had the mats slide and someone slaps the floor,bending the ring. The only way to get the ring off is to rebend it or cut it off...before the blood to the finger is cut off, if thats too late then there goes the finger.

Bryan Webb
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2003, 09:42 AM   #23
Michael Neal
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 600
Offline
Quote:
It sounds like your idiosyncratic beliefs about the symbolism of the ring are extreme enough to put this in a category of seeking special treatment or exemption for a religious belief. I tend to come down on the side of not going too far to accomodate this kind of zealotry, personally, regardless of how laudable or holy the purported reason/pretext.
Jeez, relax dude.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2003, 09:52 AM   #24
KaitlinCostello
 
KaitlinCostello's Avatar
Location: Commerce City, Co
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 47
United_States
Offline
Quote:
I am engaged and will be married this summer. Obviously, I wouldn't wear my diamond to train (OUCH that could hurt!), but once my wedding band goes on, it's not coming off. Neither my fiance or I think it's appropriate to remove them for any reason. Incidentally, my ring is a 4 mm comfort fit platinum band...nothing sticking out or pointy.
I too am engaged . My ring is a puzzle ring which a solitaire that protrudes from the actual band. I wouldn't think of training with it on, nor will I ever train with my wedding band, as the engagement piece interlaces with the actual band. Its nice to see your loyalty and dedication to your other half, however I cannot agree that a "flat" band presents any less danger then the typical women's adorned wedding band.

1.) Almost everyone experiences some slight form of swelling in their hands when performing a highly physical activity like Aikido, running, swimming or even just going out and about when the weather changes. (I dip at least 1 size between the cold and warm mornings here) Your wedding band can constrict the circulation in your finger, causing even more swelling. In which case , if someone asks you to remove it, you cannot. This puts you and your training partner in an odd spot.

2)Here's something to gnaw on: What if you are training with someone who is allergic to gold? I had this problem at last seminar. One of the Aikidoka I was training with was wearing his gold wedding band, and I just happen to be allergic to it. Godawful hives are not something that are fun to have to deal with

3) Another reason it might not be wise to train with you ring on is that A) Sweat tarnishes most metals after long enough, B) you'll ding the living hell out of your ring ( and your training partners during most techniques that require you to grab with that hand our perform an open handed push ( IE Face plant).
Quote:
I'd ask the sensei of the local dojo, but I am relocating to an as-yet unknown location right after the wedding...so I don't know what my local dojo would be! Does anyone on here wear their wedding band to train? I would hate for this to be a hindrance, but I simply can't see myself doing aikido again if it means my ring has to come off.
You'll probably want to ask your current Sensei for a letter of introduction, as a courtesy to your next Sensei.

As to " I simply can't see my self doing aikido again if it means my ring has to come off…"

Well is marriage not about compromising? And Aikido not also the same? You give up personal time and space, while dedicating your self to something you love. If your dedication is equal here, you may compromise on the ring situation. Taking your ring off to train is not a sign of infidelity to your life partner, nor does it require you to abandon any of your ideals. If you take away all the rings, you're still left with the indelible bond that you and yours have created and the life that is yours and yours alone.

The choice remains yours.

I chose not to wear my ring, and I chose to keep Aikido as "my" hobby, my thing just for my self. My fiancé Chris practiced Aikido for many years before I met him, thus he understands and encourages me to do what makes me happy. My taking my ring off does not change that we love one another, and saves a great deal of heartbreak ( and stitches).

I hope you find something that works for you and I wish you and yours the best for your future together.

Kaitlin

~~No smile is as beautiful as the one that struggles through tears.~~
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2003, 10:09 AM   #25
Qatana
 
Qatana's Avatar
Dojo: Aikido of Petaluma, Petaluma,CA
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 834
Offline
"Sweat tarnishes

most metals after long enough"

No, sweat will make most metals dirty.Particularly gold, which is inert, ie.. non-reactive. Chemicals in one's skin chemistry can tarnish other metals such as silver, copper or brass but even 14K gold is pure enough except for a very few highly- acidic body types. I've been in the Jewelry business all my life and only once have seen tarnish come up through gold plating. Watch out for that 10K stuff, or gold fill tho.

On another note, due to ukemi practice my belly button ring did pop out on the mat last week...

Q
http://www.aikidopetaluma.com/
www.knot-working.com

"It is not wise to be incautious when confronting a little smiling bald man"'- Rule #1
  Reply With Quote

Please visit our sponsor:

AikiWeb Sponsored Links - Place your Aikido link here for only $10!



Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
finger ring arvin m. Techniques 1 07-23-2001 08:12 AM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:12 AM.



vBulletin Copyright © 2000-2014 Jelsoft Enterprises Limited
----------
Copyright 1997-2014 AikiWeb and its Authors, All Rights Reserved.
----------
For questions and comments about this website:
Send E-mail
plainlaid-picaresque outchasing-protistan explicantia-altarage seaford-stellionate