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In General
Budo as Escapism
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#43
 10-07-2003 11:11 PM |
Tonight we did a fair amount of Randori/Jiyu Waza, which --- as always --- I simply (for lack of a better expression) adore. A lot of the time, I find that there comes a point when the outside world seems to fall away and you're completely wrapped up in the moment, in a feeling of euphoria that comes with feeling somehow attuned with both yourself and your surroundings.
I don't know if I've touched on this before in this journal, but if I have I'm pretty sure I haven't yet fleshed it out much, so here's a start. I guess this implies a bit of escapism to a certain extent, in that I lose myself in my focus and take great pleasure in it. Yet at times I feel a bit of guilt over my favourite pasttime --- it's like people I know look at me and figure I have the grand luxury of time and energy to spend foolishly playing around on the mats all the time instead of on greater pursuits (namely, owning a home and starting a family like most folks I know). I'd like to think that Aikido is in itself a great pursuit, a life-altering experience of continual challenges, growth, and self-improvement.
But at what point does Aikido go from being a part of your life to being your life? Not that long ago, I was seriously entertaining the thought of passing on an invitation to visit friends and their newborn first child in favour of training that night instead. In my mind, it was training that was winning the argument. I had to pretty well slap myself to snap out of it. Is it possible to be addicted to Aikido? Heh --- could you imagine, "Doctor, is there something I can take for my Aikido addiction?"
I'd say more practice is definitely needed to help expound on things further.  In the meantime, I could do with a lot less nagging from my family to buy a house and start popping out the babies, that's for sure. 
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