the unknown

~~I've been watching my internal movement much of late. When focused on using Aikido as a meditation, I note what goes on internally in response to external stimulus. I have held a teacher's wrist and felt the center of the planet, held another's and felt the Void. Both powerful, both extremely different sensations on my end. Both, and many other experiences, would have been termed 'magic' years ago. Both beyond my current understanding. When you are faced with the unknown, as a spiritual practice, how do you generally respond? Excited, curious, fearful, jealous, defensive, denial, laughter, apathy, etc.? Just...curious

Paula Lydon wrote: When you are faced with the unknown, as a spiritual practice, how do you generally respond? Excited, curious, fearful, jealous, defensive, denial, laughter, apathy, etc.? Just...curious

Excited...check!
Curious...definitely!
Fearful...ehm, cautious might be a better term in my experience.
Defensive and in denial - sure, whenever I stumble upon the part of me not comfortable with.
Laughter - by all means!
Apathy and Jealousy do kick in from time to time but more often when I'm dealing with more "earthly" subjects... At that times meditation and/or Aikido practice gives the much needed boost in positive energy and corrects my focus.

There's also Sadness, Extasy, Anger and sometimes even the most desired of them all - Peace.


Kind regards to all!
M

Paula Lydon wrote: When you are faced with the unknown, as a spiritual practice, how do you generally respond? Excited, curious, fearful, jealous, defensive, denial, laughter, apathy, etc.? Just...curious

IMHO, the unknown is like a blank screen we often use to project our worst fear or our most loved fantasies. When faced with the unknown, I often just try to sit and be okay with not knowing. Sometimes it is just being okay without knowing that is a spiritual practice for me.

Yet, when I am hit with the magic in the practice of Aikido I get excited and curious and move towards it, even though I don't know what that magic is. And may never know. Sometimes it is the trip into the unknown that makes life and training exciting.

When my Sensei shows me a move I can do, it is very validating. When he shows me a move and I haven't a clue, that's exciting because it means I am about to attempt something new.

I think real knowledge is beyond description, and thus can only be obtained by experience. I think it is human nature to crave new experiences, and then try to define them, to create a world view. Different experiences create different world views in people. For example, I have never felt the centre of the planet, though I appreciate this as a metaphor. I also believe very much in the saying 'when the student is ready the master appears' i.e. you can't pack someone full of aikido information; it's a progression which takes time and experience to understand. Sometimes esoteric sounding things are really not useful to describe or transmit because if the listener hears them and believes them to be esoteric and not based in reality they do not understand your frame of reference (and that is the fault of the person transmitting the information, not the student). For example, I know what I mean when I talk about 'void' but I'd say this must be very different to what you mean since this feeling is generated from my perception rather than from something external. For this reason I never talk about ki to people until they have trained for a while (and even then I try to avoid it).

So, how do I feel with new understanding or new experiences? Elation I suppose, and humilty because Irealise that all the time I thought I was right I was not quite on the mark - and I know this will be the case again and again.

Paula Lydon wrote: ~~I have held a teacher's wrist and felt the center of the planet, held another's and felt the Void. Both powerful, both extremely different sensations on my end. Both, and many other experiences, would have been termed 'magic' years ago. Both beyond my current understanding. When you are faced with the unknown, as a spiritual practice, how do you generally respond? Excited, curious, fearful, jealous, defensive, denial, laughter, apathy, etc.? Just...curious

Joyfully! Experiencing such magic has often caused me to smile and/or laugh.

Paula Lydon wrote: ~~I've been watching my internal movement much of late. When focused on using Aikido as a meditation, I note what goes on internally in response to external stimulus. I have held a teacher's wrist and felt the center of the planet, held another's and felt the Void. Both powerful, both extremely different sensations on my end. Both, and many other experiences, would have been termed 'magic' years ago. Both beyond my current understanding. When you are faced with the unknown, as a spiritual practice, how do you generally respond? Excited, curious, fearful, jealous, defensive, denial, laughter, apathy, etc.? Just...curious

At this point in my training I seldom encounter something I don't understand. New motor skills might take some repitition but I can generally see what is being done and, with some reps, do it.

It is virtually my definition of what a real high level teacher is that they can do technique in a way that I cannot understand. Saotome Sensei, Ikeda Sensei, Ushiro Sensei, Angier Sensei, Kuroda Sensei, Vladimir Vasiliyev, all have this quality. When I encounter technique done at this level I get VERY excited. This is why I am training... It may be frustrating; I have done whole seminars in which I couldn't do anything properly. That little ego voice inside responds with "Aikido is stupid! I quit." But the rest of me knows that this frustration is required to make any progress. I need to just sit with it until I make the jump of understanding and move to the next level. To really progress, you have to be able to accept being a beginner again and feeling foolish.

There are many high ranking, Shihan level instructors who do not have this quality. You can look at what they do, take ukemi from them and know exectly what they are doing. They might do techniques you haven't seen before or do familiar techniques more smoothly than you do but this is the product of more training rather than some qualitative difference. I don't mind training with these folks but I don't get very excited about it. I may add some techniques to my repertoire but these aren't the folks that will help take my Aikido to the next level.

One quote I remember from a teacher of aiki (don't remember whether it was aikido or Daito Ryu) was "If you understand what was just done to you, it wasn't aikikai."