Death in the Family

We lost one of our own this week. Yesterday we said our final goodbye to our friend Takahiro Abe killed in a car accident in Turkey. In the interview of Tetsuro Nariyama Shihan on Aikido Journal (http://www.aikidojournal.com/new/art...?ArticleID=109) Abe sensei is uke. At the funeral, with attendance in the several hundreds, Shihan delivered a eulogy which reflected the pain and utter frustration felt by all - why? Abe sama had just been promoted to Shishodin and was part of a handful of young, extremely talented Aikidoka, that are considered the future core of the Shodokan. Last year he finished his term as deshi with Nariyama Shihan and began his grooming to take over his father's company. So many people had so many hopes for this young man who was also a seriously nice guy. To many he was the ultimate expression of what an Aikidoka should be - he had kokoro. He was only 27.

Personally two images will remain with me. One of the last times I saw him was at the recent Spring Training Camp where he was excitingly telling me about his up-coming three month European trip. He was relaxed and happy although his father had him working hard. The other image is actually a picture I've had on my web site for years. He was helping a newly promoted Shodan to drink his beer. At the time he was captain of the Tenri University Aikido club. This club fielded some of the strongest shiai players in the country and Abe sensei, as Kansai University Champion, was no exception.

I ask again - why?

The only real answer is an understanding that comes from your own heart.

The fact that his death affected so many and so deeply, speaks to the success of his life.

Let me join with others in giving condolences to friends and family.

Hi Peter,

It's always a truly sad feeling to lose a friend. There'll always be a feeling of emptiness which will slowly get filled up -- although never entirely filled. I'm sure that, some day, you'll be able to help a new shodan drink his/her beer -- just like Abe-san did for you.

My condolences to you, Abe-san's friends, and loved ones.

-- Jun

My deepest condolences and compassion. IMHO, "why" is a Zen koan, there is only the acceptance of what is.

I am so sorry Peter. Nothing I can say can bring back the essence of who Aba-san was, nor the profound impact he had on your life. Your pain is a path you must walk and endure. At this moment it may seem lonely and void of the answers which you need so very much right now; it is a road that you must take. Cherish the memories and lessons that Abe-san taught you. Remember the good times, and the bad. Laughter, tears frustration. Most of all remember your dear friend for who he was in life and not what he became in death.

Hold to your heart those memories and Abe-san will remain with you. Take time to understand the feelings within and to come to peace with the questions that still remain unanswered.

It is tradition in my religion to light and burn a candle from sunset to sunrise, when some one close passes on... What good can a little candle do when it is so dark? As the sun finally sets, it seems that all light dies, and even hope. However, this candle burns brightest before dawn, when a new day and its possibilities are born.

I hope that my words have brought some comfort. You and Aba-san are in my prayers, as I too recently lost two very close friends to car accidents.

My deepest condolences,

Kaitlin

Condolences, my friend.

Osu!

Ron Tisdale

My Condolences as well. I know the pain one feels from losing someone so close.

Stay strong, he'll always be with you.

Having nearly lost one of ours to a brain aneurysm last year, I can definitely sympathize with you and your family. I express the condolences of our dojo for your loss.