Welcome to AikiWeb Aikido Information
AikiWeb: The Source for Aikido Information
AikiWeb's principal purpose is to serve the Internet community as a repository and dissemination point for aikido information.

Sections
home
aikido articles
columns

Discussions
forums
aikiblogs

Databases
dojo search
seminars
image gallery
supplies
links directory

Reviews
book reviews
video reviews
dvd reviews
equip. reviews

News
submit
archive

Miscellaneous
newsletter
rss feeds
polls
about

Follow us on



Home > AikiWeb Aikido Forums
Go Back   AikiWeb Aikido Forums > Open Discussions

Hello and thank you for visiting AikiWeb, the world's most active online Aikido community! This site is home to over 22,000 aikido practitioners from around the world and covers a wide range of aikido topics including techniques, philosophy, history, humor, beginner issues, the marketplace, and more.

If you wish to join in the discussions or use the other advanced features available, you will need to register first. Registration is absolutely free and takes only a few minutes to complete so sign up today!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-04-2002, 01:49 PM   #1
Chocolateuke
Dojo: Muhu Dojo
Location: Middle of nowhere in California 14 miles from Buellton
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 238
Offline
Unhappy Blame

I looked at the post about women and backbiting and stuff I aint replying to that thread cause I would do more damage than good really. I do have a problem with a training partner, and Im not sure where to put this post, so I put it in chit chat so people dont have to see it on the hompage if it gets debatable . So, heres my problem. one of my friends who is a student also, keeps blaming EVERYTHING on everyone else weather its how they fall or when the the student losses blance during a throw, and that's not all the student brings its personal life on the mat and talks about how parents are stupid and how the student cant do anything ( I know this students parents really well and they are a nice bunch of people). This student never really looks at itself. The student brings it in the dojo as well as everywere else, Im good friends with this person but its really getting to me personally when blame is constantly being pointed elsewhere when its really this persons fault.

So how can I get to my friend and ask my friend to tone it down at least at the dojo without brining a storm ( ive tried before and my friend gets really pissed). I dont want to offend em but try to help and maybe if I help we can be happier, or the exact opposite any suggestions?

Sorry about being picky on how I describe my friend, (ie it, friend and student soforth). Happy INDD and thx.

Last edited by Chocolateuke : 07-04-2002 at 01:53 PM.

Dallas Adolphsen
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-04-2002, 07:23 PM   #2
SeiserL
 
SeiserL's Avatar
Location: Florida Gulf coast
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 3,902
United_States
Offline
There are people who sort the world for external causes to blame. It is a sorting mechanism they learned. Others always blame themselves, even when its not their fault. IMHO, don't worry about changing your friend's since will only allow him to progress so far. Trying to change him may only be an exercise in futility. Rather, model for him the benefits of not blaming at all, but accepting our own contribution and participation in the dance.

Until again,

Lynn

Lynn Seiser PhD
Yondan Aikido & FMA/JKD
We do not rise to the level of our expectations, but fall to the level of our training. Train well. KWATZ!
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-06-2002, 12:10 PM   #3
suebailey
Location: sunderland
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 52
England
Offline
dont worry

hi chocolateuke

if ur friend is so bad that its affecting others training then ur instuctor should be informed. i know u prob dont want to be known as a grass but they'll get over it.

failing that have a quit word with ur friend and explain that ur not having a go at him but ur just woried he mmight get in trouble if he doesnt leave his problems out side
and stop blaming the other students.

till nxt time
let me know how u get on mate
sue
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-06-2002, 01:57 PM   #4
Kat.C
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 212
Offline
Re: Blame

Quote:
Originally posted by Chocolateuke
I looked at the post about women and backbiting and stuff I aint replying to that thread cause I would do more damage than good really. I do have a problem with a training partner, and Im not sure where to put this post, so I put it in chit chat so people dont have to see it on the hompage if it gets debatable . So, heres my problem. one of my friends who is a student also, keeps blaming EVERYTHING on everyone else weather its how they fall or when the the student losses blance during a throw, and that's not all the student brings its personal life on the mat and talks about how parents are stupid and how the student cant do anything ( I know this students parents really well and they are a nice bunch of people). This student never really looks at itself. The student brings it in the dojo as well as everywere else, Im good friends with this person but its really getting to me personally when blame is constantly being pointed elsewhere when its really this persons fault.

So how can I get to my friend and ask my friend to tone it down at least at the dojo without brining a storm ( ive tried before and my friend gets really pissed). I dont want to offend em but try to help and maybe if I help we can be happier, or the exact opposite any suggestions?

Sorry about being picky on how I describe my friend, (ie it, friend and student soforth). Happy INDD and thx.
Have you tried saying to your friend that you know he/she is having problems and that you'd be more than happy to talk to him/her about them at a more appropriate time when you can devote your full attention to him/her? And when your friend complains about other aikido students you could mention that with practice everyone will improve, it just takes time.

Kat

I find the aquisition of knowledge to be relatively easy, it is the application that is so difficult.
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2002, 05:49 AM   #5
suebailey
Location: sunderland
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 52
England
Offline
hi

that was well said kat u sound like the voice of experiance.

this is certainly worth a try chocolateuke

ur friend might just be trying to get help but just isnt going the right way aboput it. snd may not ant to ask incase u say no so offer a hand as kat says.

sue

with out the heart there can be no understanding between body and mind and if u have never linked ur self to true emptiness you will never comprehend the full dimension of aikido.
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-19-2002, 11:45 PM   #6
Ben_t_shodan
Dojo: Aikido Institute of Michigan, Seiwa Dojo
Location: Michigan
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 36
Offline
I like to think in aikido terms. so how is this;

masakatsu agatsu

True victory is vuctory over one self.

Try and teach them that. (I would)

dose that help?

Thank you,

Ben

The one who knows the least knows it the loudest.
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2002, 10:57 PM   #7
Gregory King
Dojo: Fuji Ryu Police Citizens Club
Location: Tasmania
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 19
Offline
It is your friends choice to become annoyed over these things, your friend can choose not to let things get under the skin so much, you can respect your friend and still tell them they are becoming a pain in the arse! Encourage your friend to choose happiness, it's a much preferable state of mind to being annoyed with others.

Regards

Greg

Greg
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-22-2002, 06:24 AM   #8
Genex
 
Genex's Avatar
Dojo: Warrington Seishin Kai
Location: Warrington, England
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 155
Offline
Smile

well hey i know my techniqure is perfect, if they dont fly accross the room when i do tenchi nage then obviously gravity doesnt want to play....

Ok ok so i'm a bit crap at a few things

naw i learn just like everyone else, we've not had anyone doing the whole oooh that was your fault for attacking my wrong (as if you can get a wrong attack) but there we go, sometimes i even mess up Ikkyo's and my Yonkyo's could do with more work (and a willing Uke who wants to be punished) although my nikkyo's and sankyo's are good.

there are those that really throw you about but we getr revenge on them i suppose you could just say OI NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

just tell him no that was your fault you need to extend your arm more, then have him do the technique on you that way even tho he's pissed he'll simply take the anger out on you.

pete

like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick. - The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy on the Pan-galactic Gargleblaster!
  Reply With Quote

Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
So, what are your thoughts on violence and Aikido? Dennis Hooker General 86 05-01-2003 07:19 AM
Theft in Aikido Misogi-no-Gyo General 34 02-26-2003 04:51 AM
Reason for sloppy attacks? Ta Kung General 25 11-04-2002 11:12 AM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:10 PM.



vBulletin Copyright © 2000-2024 Jelsoft Enterprises Limited
----------
Copyright 1997-2024 AikiWeb and its Authors, All Rights Reserved.
----------
For questions and comments about this website:
Send E-mail
plainlaid-picaresque outchasing-protistan explicantia-altarage seaford-stellionate