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Old 05-29-2007, 08:02 PM   #1
nekobaka
Dojo: Washinkai (Kizu)
Location: Osaka
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 123
Japan
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help with translating an article

下から食い込む
shita kara kuimoku

I have translated this as enter from below, but it doesn't sit well. anyone have a better expression?

実るほど頭を垂れる稲穂かな
minoru hodo atama wo tareru inaho kana
this one I can understand at least, but
the more the rice stock sags, the riper the rice.
what do you think? It could be more poetic, but...

Last edited by nekobaka : 05-29-2007 at 08:07 PM.
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Old 05-29-2007, 09:35 PM   #2
Josh Lerner
 
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Location: Renton, WA
Join Date: Oct 2005
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Re: help with translating an article

Quote:
Ani Forbes wrote: View Post
下から食い込む
shita kara kuimoku

I have translated this as enter from below, but it doesn't sit well. anyone have a better expression?

実るほど頭を垂れる稲穂かな
minoru hodo atama wo tareru inaho kana
this one I can understand at least, but
the more the rice stock sags, the riper the rice.
what do you think? It could be more poetic, but...
Your Japanese is probably better than mine, so take these with a grain of salt. I'm just looking in my big Kenkyusha here . . .

kuikomu - what about "erode from below"? Not knowing the context, it's hard to say, but the general feel of kuikomu seems to be to "eat into" something. "Erode" seems to capture the feeling, though it doesn't have the active feeling of "biting into" that kuikomu has. Maybe "encroach on from below." Blech. That isn't any better. What is the sentence and context?

And speaking of Kenkyusha, I just looked up "minoru", and guess what? The haiku you are translating appears in the entry. They translate it as -

"The boughs that bear the most hang the lowest."

Hope that helps,

Josh

Last edited by Josh Lerner : 05-29-2007 at 09:41 PM.
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