What to do in this situation?

Hello everyone,
I haven't posted in a while but have run into a situation that I would like some feedback on. Originally, I was taking Bushikai Aikido in OKC, then I lost contact with my instructor. Since then our paths have crossed several times. He has asked if I would be willing to teach under him recently, and we were supposed to do some one on one training in preparation of this. He said that he was going to open up classes to the public in May. We were supposed to begin the one on one training in mid March. I have called and left various messages, but he hasn't returned any of them. Should I keep waiting (pushing my training back further) or should I go ahead and explore some of the other dojos in OKC to continue my training? I feel a certain loyalty to my instructor as well as the Bushikai form, but can't find another bushikai instructor around OKC. Please let me know your thoughts. . .

Just so everyone knows, I'm not opposed to other forms of Aikido, I just haven't explored them very thoroughly. I'm looking for more than just a place to learn and develop techniques. I try to apply the principles of Aikido in every day life. To me, Aikido is not just a martial arts form, but a way of life. It seems difficult to find a dojo that teaches from this perspective. That is probably why I'm having such a hard time with this current situation.

Out of curiosity, what is Bushikai Aikido?

FWIW, I would visit the different dojos that are available before making my final decision. A good instructor is worth searching for.

Hi Matt,
it is hard to give advice from outside.
So just my 2 cts: If you already left various messages, don't call too often. If you want to show, that you mean it serious, you can try to call once a week. In worst case your instructor would start open classes on his own and introduce you later - or delay starting the classes.

But my advice is, you should train. Dojo does not matter, just move. The more you like it the better. You better should not enter into long term contract, while still hoping for your chance as co-instructor. May you just start visiting several dojo in your area.

In a few weeks (or months) you might see, which is the best you can do.

Kind regards

Dirk

I've left 2 messages since march 15th i havent called back in a little over a week now. thanks for your input so far, keep the posts coming please.

Whether you end up teaching for your old instructor, or he never calls you back, you should be training. Right? Just be adaptive and do what you have to do.

Matt,
I agree with the basic advise so far; I would keep the option open of training and teaching under your old instructor by not signing a long term contract with another dojo, however I would find a place where I could continue my training.

I don't know about OKC but here in Nashville almost all of the dojo's run on a month to month contract and don't require anything other than a months dues for the month you are currently training in.

For whatever reason, work, health, family, etc your instructor is unwilling or unable to contact you at this point and there is no reason you should put your training on hold waiting for him since you don't know how long that may be.

If I were your instructor, when I finally contacted you I would *much* rather hear "Okay, that's great, I have been training at XYZ but will be happy to come train with you" rather than "My gosh, why did you keep me waiting so long, I haven't done any aikido in ten months." The latter response will make him feel even worse about whatever his problem might be.

Just don't commit yourself to teaching elsewhere until you have straightened things out, or given up on straightening them out. (And then a call or note would probably be appropriate.)

Mary Kay

Matt Cook wrote: Hello everyone, I haven't posted in a while but have run into a situation that I would like some feedback on. Originally, I was taking Bushikai Aikido in OKC, then I lost contact with my instructor. Since then our paths have crossed several times. He has asked if I would be willing to teach under him recently, and we were supposed to do some one on one training in preparation of this. He said that he was going to open up classes to the public in May. We were supposed to begin the one on one training in mid March. I have called and left various messages, but he hasn't returned any of them. Should I keep waiting (pushing my training back further) or should I go ahead and explore some of the other dojos in OKC to continue my training? I feel a certain loyalty to my instructor as well as the Bushikai form, but can't find another bushikai instructor around OKC. Please let me know your thoughts. . .

well i say keep your ear out for your sensei but whilst you are waiting keep training in other forms (or the same) of aikido it can only be of benefit to you if you train and keep training

Matt Cook wrote: Just so everyone knows, I'm not opposed to other forms of Aikido, I just haven't explored them very thoroughly. I'm looking for more than just a place to learn and develop techniques. I try to apply the principles of Aikido in every day life. To me, Aikido is not just a martial arts form, but a way of life. It seems difficult to find a dojo that teaches from this perspective. That is probably why I'm having such a hard time with this current situation.

Hi Matt

You are right in saying Aikido principles can be used in every day life, however in my 30 years in martial arts I have found not many instructors understand the correlation between the technical aspects of the arts they practice and the spiritual side that the art holds as well. I was just talking to one of my students last night and he was inquiring as to why I chose him to teach a particular student and not one of my more technically accomplished students, so I explained to him whilst the others might be technically better than he, they have not picked up the part of training that is about giving, giving of your self to another so they can learn, with out the ego getting in the way. IMHO this is what martial training is all about, yes we all know the meaning of the word "martial" but to me training is about bettering oneself to a point where we can tolerate what we see as the short comings of others. Where we can coexist with people from all walks of life.

I quote a line from a very good poem " Listen to others even the dull an ignorant, they to have their story " the poem is called La Desiderata, its author's name escapes me just now but if you read it you will find good Aikido.

Good luck with your search, keep true to yourself and you will do well.

Keep smiling and be happy

Perry

I'm going to continue my training, I just need to get a feel for some of the other training locations around here. I just hope that I will be able to find an instructor that does understand the correlation of aikido's spiritual applications in every day life. Does anyone have any words of wisdom as to which dojos or associations are more likely to offer what I'm seeking in the Oklahoma City, Oklahoma area?

Matt Cook wrote: I'm going to continue my training, I just need to get a feel for some of the other training locations around here. I just hope that I will be able to find an instructor that does understand the correlation of aikido's spiritual applications in every day life. Does anyone have any words of wisdom as to which dojos or associations are more likely to offer what I'm seeking in the Oklahoma City, Oklahoma area?

Wow! You're in OKC? Have you stopped in at Shobu Aiki Dojo yet? Go here:

http://www.jiyushinkai.org/

Click on the Dojo Locator and you'll find the address and phone for the dojo. They are part of the Jiyushinkai. Great bunch of people and even better training. Course, I'm biased.

I hope that you at least visit a few times and ask them questions.

Mark

Matt Cook wrote: I'm going to continue my training, I just need to get a feel for some of the other training locations around here. I just hope that I will be able to find an instructor that does understand the correlation of aikido's spiritual applications in every day life. Does anyone have any words of wisdom as to which dojos or associations are more likely to offer what I'm seeking in the Oklahoma City, Oklahoma area?

Hey Matt,

You are welcome to come and train at my dojo, its in Melbourne Australia classes start at 7.30pm dont be late now. heheheh only meeing with you buddy

Good luck with your search

Perry

Perry Bell wrote: Hey Matt, You are welcome to come and train at my dojo, its in Melbourne Australia classes start at 7.30pm dont be late now. heheheh only meeing with you buddy Good luck with your search Perry

I'll be happy to check it out, just send me a plane ticket and enough money to pay for a hotel for a few days. (Please make the ticket a round trip)

Thanks for your posts, I appreciate all your input everyone.

Matt:

What is Bushikai Aikido? What is the lineage? Has this instructor avoided or not responded to you in the past? If so, I'd seriously consider not continuing the relationship. He could just be busy or out of town as well. However, if this occurs regularly, then I would be concerned about the level of support you will receive in the future.

My instructor wasn't very forthcoming with the lineage other than telling me it was "his" form of Aikido. His only other answer to me was "it's the warriors aikido" I am concerned about future support and I am looking at other places to train. It is unfortunate, but the training must continue. (or start over if necessary).

Matt,

Depending on the lineage of the Bushikai style, you may find certain styles of aikido more or less familiar. I highly recommend David Martin Sensei at the Shobu Aiki dojo affiliated with the Jiyushinkai that was listed above. You may also want to check out the Windsong dojo, affiliated with the Fugakukai, under Nick Lowry Sensei. Both are Tomiki styles of aikido. If you are more familiar with the Aikikai ways, then you should check out the Tenshinkai Aikido dojo at 1228 N. Council Road.

Also, feel free to drop me a note if you every make it up this way. We welcome visitors.

Chris

My instructor wasn't very forthcoming with the lineage other than telling me it was "his" form of Aikido. His only other answer to me was "it's the warriors aikido"

Not to be negative, but both of these are warning signs to me, personally.

1) If he doesn't know his lineage, or won't share what he does know, that is bad. I can think of no good reason for either.

2) Warrior's Aikido???? a) come on.... b) did he ever serve in the military? Does he now? In my own experience, this "warrior" thingy get's blown way out of proportion. Just my opinion...

If I were you (I am not) I'd just survey the places available to train, and start training at one.

Best,
Ron