aggresive and arrogant aikidoka

My dears, let us not ourselves become "aggresive and arrogant aikidoka".

Why must you down play the violence and humiliation that is suffered by countless young males and boys. Why are we not allow to finally say, woman we suffer too, we know what it is like, here is what we go through. Why do you denign this of us?

If you want to talk about this - and it's a valid topic - start your own thread rather than hijaking the thread of someone else who was asking for advice on a specific problem. I think you'll find the responses much more receptive.

-LK

I think the original poster telling her story, though specific to her, does voice a problem that is just not an isolated one. This problem is recognized and discussed by others as a broader problem, here in this thread and in related threads. It is bullying, I don't think to discuss the topic we have to be gender, age specific, or person specific, do we?.

Bullying, a.k.a. aggressive and arrogant behavior happens in many dojos just not the one in Canada. It doesn't happen to just woman and it isn't done just by newbie students to other newbie students.

I am glad to see others have posted their own related stories relating to the situation of the original poster. The problem of bullying isn't a cookie cutter issue. Therefore, there are probably other people out there who are are in a very similar situation and need advice beyond the solution posted by the original poster.

Arrogance and aggressiveness is, in my IMO, is very much a standard of martial arts. Aikido being a martial art in part does attract those who have arrogant and aggressive personalities. Thankfully, Aikido practice over time, leads people to a more harmonious and peaceful path. Of course, there is no guarantee as people are people, where some get it and some don't.

I would think the intelligent discussion would become broader and more encompassing. Especially, when there is a sufficient amount (and repetitive) recommendations to solve the individual problem. I would think at that point the discussion would move on to a boarder scope. I hope the title of this thread really doesn't reflect the average Aikidoka.

I might be erring that I assume that Aikidoka are at top of the intellectual martial artists chain. I find more professionals, and more educated people in Aikido overall than the other arts I have come across, and other martial art style boards I have read. I hope, I have not assumed incorrectly. Regardless of the similar low brow patterns of cheapening the discussion of late that mirror other lesser boards, I can say many Aikidoka have demonstrated a higher standard. I hope we can continue the discussion at a higher standard, and not deteriorate this thread any further, for at least of those looking for answers, and needing to talk.

With that said, let me apologize for my friend sticking up for me, in his way. Let apologize for any thing I said that was too brief and may have caused any misunderstandings initially. I do care about the young lady, who now has the problem resolved, and I will bet and hope in time the young woman and young man will become friends, now that the misunderstanding is resolved.

i love happy endings

Many clear voices have said talk to your Sensei or a Sempi. Often these problems can be solved by an authority figure stepping in. However, there is an etiquette in my dojos and many others that allows one to bow out of practice with someone perceived as dangerous and join another team to practice or sit seiza facing the shomen meditating until the next technique provides a more amenable partner. This also alerts the instructor that there is an interpersonal problem on the mat without disrupting the class. This, I was told, is to be sure that someone wasn't injured before they had an opportunity to talk to the instructor. It sounds like you have tried to ask the gentleman to train slower or softer with you and he refuses. I realize that your situation is exacerbated by the Sensei calling you up as a pair on occasion but ultimately you must make choices that keep you safe. The alternate is too unthinkable. Good luck