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06-08-2006, 03:01 AM
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#1
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Dojo: White Rose (Sunderland)
Location: Washington
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 270
Offline
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Aikido does not work at all when........
Okay, so here's the thing, there is loads of these things all over the web arguing why aikido does or doesn't work in a fight, so i thought id make my own up, in my own special way.
Aikido does not work at all when........
Tori is fully encased in concrete from head to toe.
Uki has super powers and can make their arms turn to water and thus drip out of Tori's grip
Continue..........
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"No matter your pretence, you are what you are and nothing more." - Kenshiro Abbe Shihan
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06-08-2006, 04:19 AM
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#2
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Dojo: Shudokan School of Aikido
Location: Houston
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 608
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
Aikido doesn't work when ....you don't believe in it.
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"It is the philosophy that gives meaning to the method of training."
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06-08-2006, 04:39 AM
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#3
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Dojo: Dartington
Location: Devon
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,220
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
Aikido doesn't work at all when...you don't know how to do it properly  |
Success is having what you want. Happiness is wanting what you have.  |
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06-08-2006, 05:29 AM
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#4
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Dojo: Yoshin-ji Aikido of Marshall
Location: Wisconsin
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,224
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
Aikido does not work if you are distracted by a kitten attacking a shoe.
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06-08-2006, 06:05 AM
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#5
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Dojo: White Rose (Sunderland)
Location: Washington
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 270
Offline
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
Aikido does not work when...... instead of doing technique you run into a corner, tap your heels together three times and yell "THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME"
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"No matter your pretence, you are what you are and nothing more." - Kenshiro Abbe Shihan
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06-08-2006, 06:22 AM
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#6
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Dojo: Dartington
Location: Devon
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,220
Offline
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
Quote:
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Steve Mullen wrote:
Aikido does not work when...... instead of doing technique you run into a corner, tap your heels together three times and yell "THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME"
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Oh Dorothy, you don't mean that do you?
aikido doesn't work at all when.....not in the correct dress
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Success is having what you want. Happiness is wanting what you have. |
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06-08-2006, 06:40 AM
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#7
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Dojo: Seibukan, Milton Keynes
Location: At Work unless I am at the DOJO!
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 112
Offline
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
Aikido does not work at all when ... ... to try performing it on the lamp post that pushed you over on the way home from the pub  |
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06-08-2006, 12:48 PM
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#8
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Dojo: Academy of Warrior Spirit
Location: tampa
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 440
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
Aikido does not work when...... you kiss your Nage 'Jon' on the cheek before you attack him......and your name is 'David'.
dave
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06-08-2006, 02:31 PM
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#9
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Dojo: Southern Maryland Aikido Center
Location: Southern Maryland
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 15
Offline
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
I once wondered how to do Nikkyo on a goose who was giving me the evil eye....
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06-08-2006, 03:29 PM
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#10
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Dojo: Academy of Warrior Spirit
Location: tampa
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 440
Offline
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
Quote:
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I once wondered how to do Nikkyo on a goose who was giving me the evil eye....
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HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA aaah!
every time i am outrageous i am outdone! this brings up endless possibilities!
dave
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06-08-2006, 03:32 PM
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#11
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Dojo: Shudokan School of Aikido
Location: Houston
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 608
Offline
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
Aikido does not work when.... what you believe is incorrect.
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"It is the philosophy that gives meaning to the method of training."
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06-08-2006, 03:32 PM
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#12
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Dojo: Kenshinkan Dojo (Aikido of North County) Vista, CA
Location: Oceanside, California
Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 1,253
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
Amazing! I once wondered how to goose a guy named Nick.
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Michael
"Leave the gun. Bring the cannoli."
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06-08-2006, 03:37 PM
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#13
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Dojo: Team Combat USA
Location: Olympia, Washington
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 4,376
Offline
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
....when you say "hey pull my finger!"
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06-08-2006, 05:47 PM
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#14
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Dojo: Samurai Dojo
Location: Montevideo
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 138
Offline
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
when Uke is Dexter.
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06-08-2006, 06:31 PM
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#15
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Dojo: Dartington
Location: Devon
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,220
Offline
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
Quote:
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Donna Grant wrote:
I once wondered how to do Nikkyo on a goose who was giving me the evil eye....
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I could pass on a technique we dicovered when practicing with our local flock
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Success is having what you want. Happiness is wanting what you have. |
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06-08-2006, 08:37 PM
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#16
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Dojo: None at the moment - on hiatus
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 965
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
Aikido does not work when Uma Thurman (or any gorgeous hollywood babe) ask you to get in her guard... why should you ?
Boon. |
SHOMEN-ATE (TM), the solution to 90% of aikido and life's problems.
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06-08-2006, 09:29 PM
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#17
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Dojo: Southern Maryland Aikido Center
Location: Southern Maryland
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 15
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
Quote:
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Kevin Leavitt wrote:
....when you say "hey pull my finger!"
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Actually....I've seen this work. Big bad French Canadian yudansha...my husband said..."pull my finger"...and before I could stop the poor guy...he did! He was never the same (the Canadian... my husband remained the same....believe me...)
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06-09-2006, 03:56 AM
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#18
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Dojo: Wokingham Aikido
Location: Reading, UK
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 393
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
... the brakes fail in your car when travelling downhill at 50 mph 
... Sensei has just knocked you unconscious for doing something silly 
... everyone is feeling too chilled to want to attack anyone 
Ruth |
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06-09-2006, 04:28 AM
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#19
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Dojo: Dartington
Location: Devon
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,220
Offline
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
Quote:
=Ruth McWilliam
... everyone is feeling too chilled to want to attack anyone |
'Real' aikido 
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Success is having what you want. Happiness is wanting what you have. |
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06-09-2006, 09:47 AM
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#20
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Dojo: Aikido West Reading
Location: Reading, Pa
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 261
Offline
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
aikido does not work when...
we take the "martial" out of "martial art"
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06-09-2006, 10:57 AM
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#21
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Dojo: Aiki-Buken Aikido
Location: Gilbert, Arizona
Join Date: Jul 2000
Posts: 208
Offline
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
Quote:
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Steve Mullen wrote:
Okay, so here's the thing, there is loads of these things all over the web arguing why aikido does or doesn't work in a fight, so i thought id make my own up, in my own special way.
Aikido does not work at all when........
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...a red-shirt wearing fung fu guy does this ... http://www.guzer.com/videos/kungfu_fight.php (Please view video ) ...there's just no aikido defense when this happens ...what can you do when your eyes are blurry from tears, tears formed from hysterically laughing ...how can you execute ANY technique when you're totally out of breath, gasping for air because you can't stop belly laughing ...in fact, you're bent over at the waste due to this uncontrollable laughing fit ...face it folks! ...you're DONE FOR!!! 
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Brian Vickery
"The highest level of technique to achieve is that of having NO technique!"
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06-09-2006, 06:45 PM
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#22
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Dojo: Boulder Aikikai
Location: Boulder
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 136
Offline
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
Aikido doesn't work at all when uke is an inanimate object.
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06-10-2006, 09:48 PM
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#23
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Location: Helsinki
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 16
Offline
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
.... uke actively tries to escape.
I tried to get my sister to train with me for my test. It was like training with a greased noodle.
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06-11-2006, 02:09 AM
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#24
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Dojo: Aunkai, Tokyo
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 319
Offline
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
Aikido does not work at all when....
...martial is converted to marital
...you start talking during your demonstration LOL
... you forget to wear your hakama
... your uke doesn't throw a "real punch" or attack "properly"
... the uke starts to put a judo technique on you
... that meal of tacos and beans you had for lunch has thoughts about making a comeback.
Hehe, good memories, all.
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06-12-2006, 10:44 AM
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#25
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Dojo: Samurai Dojo
Location: Montevideo
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 138
Offline
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........
Quote:
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Gernot Hassenpflug wrote:
... you forget to wear your hakama
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How can that make your Aikido "not work at all"??? 
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