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i posted this about a year ago on Aikido-l. it gets more revelant every day!
When i began training i hadn't danced a step in a couple of years. So i was
drawing parallels from memory-"_this_ ukemi feels sorta like _this_lead in
tango". The way that uke, or follower,has no idea what is coming next,
having to be open, to maintain the connection...well, thats what i love
about Both arts.
When I started dancing agin, early this year, i immediately began using
aikido references & exercises in my teaching-maai,entering,the simple act of
putting your arm on your partners shoulder became a form of iriminage. When
i had the oppurtunity to actually teach tango to an aikidoist, he could find
the openings where technique _could_ have happened....but had a problem with
what i am perceiving as "double center"- you walk from your one point but
you lead your partner with your chest instead of your hips. The leverage
works the same way tho.
So its been sliding back & forth for me.
In freestyle it has added to my repertoire-now i hear the music saying
"roll" as well as
"spin" or "kick" or "shimmy"- an expansion of my vocabulary.In performance-
well, i haven't had the opportunity to do a really spectacular fall onstage
in a few years...
So it really all blends for me. I would teach tenkan in hoopskirts.I would
add ukemi to tango. Follow a deep arabesque with a roll or a breakfall.
Extension in waltzing.
The language of movement,the moment of co
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this is not specifically aikido related, its more in reference to the Energy Awareness work of Robert Nadeau,Shihan, my sensei's sensei. Sorta...
Enthusiasm:
Can't seem to find any. Feeling like a two-dimensional being in a 3D world, just can't find any Dimensionality. no depth. Talked about it this morning in energy class and what I got was that I've been spinning my wheels to stay in one place and maybe I should just Stop Trying, stop Looking-for activity,for understanding,clarity,money,sex,results. And of coure I KNOW this from about the eyebrows,up, but how many times in our lives do we get told the same thing over & over until one day we actually Hear it.
And suddenly I come home from the dojo and don't feel the need to run away from my trailer for the rest of the day, which is generally the plan for weekends, just Be in your Home for the afternoon, and suddenly the Goddess of Cleaning comes to visit and I cancel an afternoon with a new photographer who wants to trade me pix for exchange in me assisting her photograph her boyfriend in drag and could be a fun gig and potentially lucrative because I want to stay home and clean my house.
Hmmmmmmm.
Funny, I've been home for 3 1/2 hours and haven't gotten bored!
I learned the etymology of the word"enthusiasm" today:Full of God. En Theos. having a god within, Inspired.
I was inspired to clean by the goddess within. How incredibly hokey !
I was gonna write about how not enthusiastic I am feeling about
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So I've been spending the last online year mostly hanging out at Tribe.net and so all my journaling has been posted over there, its multi-dimensional and you should ALL go join right now, but until you do, I figgeed I oughta post some of my aiki-related stuff here as well. Here's one from a thread on magical experiences in & out of the dojo,from my tribe, budobabes:
I am 5'3". Sensei is 6'3". Today he was demonstrating iriminage with me and intread of running into his arm and getting thrown, I -completely accidentally and with no intent-ended up just strolling under his arm.
next thing I know I'm flat on my face and my fingertips are about to pop-Yonkyo!
The bruise has changed color twice today already!
so its come to this. private public ranting and i'm sure yhat still somehow somebody will find fault with what i'm saying and post something along the lines 'oh suck it up and quit whining' but somebody's always gonna do that anyway so what the fuck.
the thing that scares me most about aikido is pretty much also the reason i started training-it forces one to be a contributing member of an integretive community. i must learn to function as a member of the group or at least as a member of a series of consecutive pairs of close intimate psycho-physical-spiritual encounters in close cooperation. one of those things i truly suck at. does not play well in groups. oh it always starts out well, the new girl, who may have a skill or a talent that makes a major contribution so i feel like here is a place where i am wanted, appreciated, valued, maybe even liked. and i like that. and i get used to being a member. i get used to being included until i am so comfortably ensconced within a group that i get comfortable & let my guard down and all of a sudden i'm not letting some of my less positive qualities get out of hand and everybody decides maybe i wasn't so nice or talented or spiritual or valuable or loveable as i appeared and i get invited to leave yet another group or community or relationship.and after the last one i've spent a good (good? right)part of the past four years avoiding participating in Life of any kind.
fear/fear of being alone fear of being forgotten fear of being i
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07-06-2005 09:20 PM 
