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So.. I am on a sprical quest... mening I am not folowing any "religion" , but I am "spriritual". I know that there is some kind of ennergy that we all are apart of. I know there is high ennnergy and low. I not sure of anything else. Lattly one of my biggest problems I am coming accross is dubble stards. This is where people try to not jsut have diffent stards for diffent sutations but are hippicrital and seem to enjoy changing there strads for no rell reson. People also ar geting are trying my abilty to not react , becaue they keep trying walk on both sides of the fence. In other words they are alltal sintive and then altral controling or can dish it and not take it. I not climing that I am perfect at any of this but I do walk only on one side of the fence most of the time and like them or not right or wrong I hold everyone including me to the same stardes. It frustrats me becuse I don't know how to reacate, I have a heard enoff time interping what all the signgnals are that people send out ( asbugers ).
Which leads into one reson why I liked akido , it had rules and people told me what they ment. I may not alway rember them or even always agree , but at lest I knwo why this is so or what not. Lattly , even in akido the peopel there tend to not be helping me as much , I understand I suppose I should get it by now, but I dont. I wondering are this too relted? I am relly just an alian ? I know I should have alot of this figrued out I am 21 and I know 18 is the majic number where you knokw it all . You become an addult then, I recon that is what it mean.
I also wonder thow how do you medtate and dose it help you to be able to just ignor all this and not deal with it since I am oviouly not going to get any answers I seek. I jsut want the rull book to life or mabby there is none? Then why dose everyone else seem to know what to do?
Any thought coments sugestions...... I know not relly akido orented but I put it out there and see anyway.