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trademark8806's Blog Blog Tools Rating: Rate This Blog
Creation Date: 06-14-2009 01:51 AM
Blog Info
Status: Public
Entries: 68
Comments: 185
Views: 226,021

In Spiritual Confution Entry Tools Rate This Entry
  #14 New 12-19-2009 08:14 PM
I previous this with saying I think this related to Akido, but bearw with me it is not.

I had truble geting focosed last few class. Last monday night, I went t class and for some reason everything I thought I knew rand and hid. I had vague memoris of it like it was looking throw a windo, but would not walk down the path to rest of my mind and boddy. However, I made it throw the class, and pondered why this was such an unproductive night and why my mind kept litterly going blank at times. There was even another brand new student whom seemed to catch on tho actives that faster then I. I suposed be better then him somewhat ... I been tring for about 6 months. The only excuse I had in part for that night was I had been up for about 48 hours. Althow, I did nto feel tryed I had lots of red die 40 in my system( kinda like normal people drinking a red bull or somehting). So , I still not srue what was up that night , but I had hoped it was just that night.

So, I go today to the afternoon class. Fist I got my Award saying I was officaly a 7th KUY. Thow , I was kinda scared and confused. I was fro a few resons, one I had just driven there, and I have not driven in a long time( I have a test wed.). My sister was sorat adding to my alraddy crappy driving by not helping time wise drictions. So, I ened up about 5-10 mints late to calss, wich is not something I like at all. Then frist thing when I get there he call my name, and I also not sure I deserve the rank. I think this becvaue I did not do them all right with flll on the test and I can't seem to consently recreate them. The traing sesstion we stared out with soem eassy stuff I should know, but I was still strugling. In part becaue we were doing alot of Dubble slap roles , and I do them wrong. I trying to figur them out, they have been thought , I think I am scared so I want to reach for the grond , insted of slap. I also somemes don't like the sound of hard slaping and don't relly see why it helps. Then latter we worked on Bokens, I forget what it was. I jsut rember I did not even apprently stricke the persons head and or Knee. That one at lest was advaved. Then before that someone let me use his boken and I almost forgot to say thankyou, I knwo that one. I did, but with him sorata making me. I helped with the mats but kept scewing up on how they were sposed to be doen. In ence feel disconeced.
This is odd becaue I was stareing to feel conconed. I just thought I would share it here. Any thoughts on what I should do? Also, Dose anyone thingk I owe an apology to people , I feel like i do?
Views: 2649 | Comments: 5

RSS Feed 5 Responses to "Confution"
#5 12-21-2009 05:41 PM
Good point , true if you I knew all I would have nothing left to lurn form this group.
#4 12-20-2009 10:28 PM
Just keep training and don't worry about the bad days. I have been training for several years and I still have some of those days where nothing goes right. I am a bit of a perfectionist so those days used to bother me a lot. They still bother me some but I have managed to get over it for the most part...mainly by reminding myself that if I could do everything perfectly there would be no reason for me to go to class in the first place.
#3 12-20-2009 11:48 AM
Thanks for your input. ..I was actuly not feeling all that tryred at the time....Althow I am sure the Red Die did help in that. 7th Kuy is making sure you know 3 teques and some rolls and basic teques. I also geting the inprestion form one of the assent teachers that it also means you know a litte about the dojo so you are held to more responsablity.
#2 12-20-2009 01:51 AM
Linda Eskin Says:
By the way, congratulations on your 7th kyu award. If you did not deserve it, your sensei would not have made you that rank. I'm sure it's like 6th kyu at my dojo - it's just recognition that you can do a few basic things safely. It's an accomplishment to be proud of, of course, but don't worry about whether you're really good enough. I'm sure you are.
#1 12-20-2009 01:48 AM
Linda Eskin Says:
That does sound familiar. Recently we were working on a technique that seemed totally unfamiliar. It was only at the end I finally saw that it was a technique that had been on my 6th kyu test. But at first I didn't even recognize it. I'm sure being tired can contribute to being confused. So can not eating, drinking too much coffee, being stressed out... I would avoid training when you are exhausted (it's not safe). But other than that, just keep doing your best, and don't worry about it.

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