Ikeda's videos, my video, your video. Kuzushi on contact.

Sometimes the harshest critic is yourself. I've come to understand something about "what to do." This is distinct from "what should be happening" which I think is the focus of much of the comments here.

I think I have found and developed the right tools, but the application in the vid doesn't depend on me using them quite right all the time. (I can use them poorly here but still get kuzushi in this setup). So it is a big-picture type of error rather than a detail. I think there are good details in the video.

But this is how epiphanies happen. The tools I have started to develop were not easy to make, and I can still use them from here on. I am confident that in the next few weeks I am going to get a LOT better because of my new focus on what I should be doing with my body. I think it is time to go back to a dojo!

ps, thanks everyone who mentioned the point of contact and what should be felt there from uke's perspective. Great stuff.