People I don't want to learn from

Doesn't seem THAT selfish to me.

Chances are she'll be more relaxed and less "stubborn", nicer to train with now that she's identified the source of the problems and how to allow for them,

Can't be much fun training with someone who finds you make them tense or stubborn. Or having someone avoid you.

Mike Grant wrote: I think you've missed the point and are adopting a very selfish attitude.

Yeah, you know, I don't agree. She didn't explain how she was going to deal with the situation, she only said she'd identified what was going on. How she deals with it will determine how selfish she's being.

The first step in solving a problem is understanding what the problem is. The next is developing a workable solution.

In this case the solution should absolutely take her partner's needs into consideration, but she needs to work it out for herself before she can be any use in helping someone else.

McBudo...

Jennie Pascal wrote: ...Then I moved across the country to a "big city" and a "big dojo" with many more members. ...However, I find that one or two of the students really grate on my nerves when they are offering tips or corrections...

Hello Jennie,

Those folks you described are called "Shadow Teachers". I can't stand them either! They're a major irritation in many dojo and a prime source of misinformation!

Since you mentioned that it's a big dojo with many more students, maybe you can avoid training with them altogether! If you can't avoid them, just roll with it (pun intended) and not let them ruin your training!

Good luck!

A year ago, I had to leave my Sensei and Dojo for several personal reasons. I bravely approached a colleague of my former Sensei and requested permission to train under him. I had spent the last 7 years training 5 days a week in Karate and Aikijutsu and never missing a seminar or training trip. By all accounts, I was my Sensei's shadow- or his Ushideshi, although it was never officially stated as such. The point is that when I started training at the new Dojo, I had to put away my belt and reconnect with my "beginners mind". My Sensei did however, inform his students as to my rank (which by the way isn't all that high) just so that they were aware. I was always taught that the best thing to do when training in an unfamiliar Dojo, is to simply have the mind of a beginner. By the way, I would never correct a senior student, the thought of that makes me cringe-unless they asked. I have always tried my best to learn from everyone that I train with.
When I started at the new Dojo, I didn't know all the basics and subtleties of this particular style martial arts. I had no problem asking a green belt or anyone for help. Yes, I have a solid foundation and a good understanding of motion and movement-appropriate for my rank. Do I know everything? I think not. If one feels offended by a juniors correction-especially in a new Dojo situation- then perhaps one might consider that their ego has overshadowed their humility.