Everyday: A New Day

Breathe in: the day begins
Breathe out: the day ends
Everyday: a new day

What could be more appropriate for starting a New Year than talking about a new day everyday? After all, it's a new year. As tradition would have it, on the first day of the New Year we reaffirm our training commitment to Aikido with a 1000 boken cuts and two-hours of practice.

This is the time of year that we may have already made and broken our New Year's resolutions. Those are the things that we know we should do, are not really committed to do, and so usually don't do. And when we don't do them, we feel bad about ourselves. A friend once told me that he had a problem with commitment. Having known him for a long time I really thought about it and had to disagree because when he decided he wanted something or was going to do something, he got it or did it (even if they weren't really in his best interest). The problem seemed to be he was committing to things and people he really wasn't committed to.

I often tell people that in a three step process to get what you want in life you only have to know two things. First, you have to know what you really want. Secondly, we have to know what we need to do to get it. The third thing is we have to do whatever it takes to get whatever we want. Many of us lose what we want because we don't really do what it takes to get it. We may be committed to wanting but not committed to doing the work to get it.

In the academic and professional world I have colleagues who seem intrigued by some sense of martial accomplishment. Having spent a lot of time in their heads they really haven't spent a lot of time on the dojo mats. When they approach me about my hobby I ask if they would like these skills. Most say yes. Then I ask if they know what they have to do to get them. They usually say yes they know they have to train. I smile and say, okay then do that. Everyday they put it off until another day (which of course never comes).

In the martial world I also have kindred spirits who seem intrigued by some sense of academic and professional accomplishment. Many don't believe in book learning or mental training and prefer spending their time in physical repetition hoping someday it will translate to some sense of physical, mental, and even possibly spiritual proficiency. When approached about my profession, they all say they would like to have a degree and they all already know all they have to do is go back to school, but just never get around to doing it. Everyday they put it off until another day (which of course never comes).

I eventually learned about living in the present, mushin (empty mind), and shoshin (beginners mind?. I went around living (as program suggests) one-day-at-a-time with no connection to the past and no future plans. That didn't work too well for me. In those days mushin (empty mind) was more like being an air-head and shoshin (beginner's mind) was simply saying I didn't know anything because I really didn't. With no past I tried to deny where I was coming from and with no future plans I had no direction.

In the movie Groundhog Day the main character Bill Murray keeps living the same day over and over again. At first it was just weird. Then it got depressing. And then he began to take advantage of the opportunity to learn new skills every day (or continue his practice of an old skill) and become a nicer person. He had no idea how long this same-day-every day would last. He began to just enjoy and embrace the process and the opportunity. The thing about practicing the same thing every day is that it has an accumulative effect. You might just learn something valuable.

In the movie Bucket List Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman decide that they will make a list of everything they want to do before they kick-the-bucket (die) and begin to seek out those opportunities. While they are on this adventure Morgan Freeman realizes that everything that was really important for him to accomplish was already there in his everyday life with his family. Nicholson? Well, watch the movie, it's excellent.

In many movies about warriors (with an underlying Budo theme) they state that everyday is a good day to die. The commitment is to not necessarily want to die but to not being afraid of it. So they train with that commitment and with that intent. What they often miss until the end of the movie is that every day is also a good day to live. Every day is a new day to reaffirming our commitment and move towards what we truly want in our lives and how to do the work to get it.

I have never been very goal oriented in my life. Early in my life I was not very decisive or disciplined either. So it's obvious why a good portion of my life just didn't work too well. I finally found my three-Ds: decision, direction, and daily discipline. When we allow ourselves to be mentally quiet, we all already know what is important and what is right. When we decide to walk in that direction every day (no matter what) we tend to begin making distance.

They say you never step in the same stream twice. So it's never the same day every day but a new day every day.

Breathe in: the day begins
Breathe out: the day ends
Everyday: a new day

Thanks for listening, for the opportunity to be of service, and for sharing the journey. Now get back to training. KWATZ!

Lynn Seiser (b. 1950 Pontiac, Michigan), Ph.D. has been a perpetual student of martial arts, CQC/H2H, FMA/JKD, and other fighting systems for 40 years. He currently holds the rank of Sandan (3rd degree Black Belt) in Tenshinkai Aikido under Sensei Dang Thong Phong at the Westminster Aikikai Dojo in Southern California. He is the co-author, with Phong Sensei, of Aikido Basics (2003), Advanced Aikido (2006), and Aikido Weapons Techniques (2006) for Tuttle Publishing. His martial art articles have appeared in Black Belt Magazine, Aikido Today Magazine, and Martial Arts and Combat Sports Magazine. He is the founder of Aiki-Solutions and IdentityTherapy and is an internationally respected psychotherapist in the clinical treatment of offenders and victims of violence, trauma, abuse, and addiction. He currently lives in Marietta, GA and trains at Roswell Budokan.

Thank you for your nice post. About the three Ds one should think about small aims and fulfill them and so step by step with the 3rd D
daily discipline one can reach everything what he wants.

Osu, Lynn-san... Thanks for a really good column. One day at a time is a very good way to attack the timeline.

(I was a bit disappointed that you didn't mention the 4th "D"... donuts... I like to get that one out of the way early in each new day! )

Thanks for sharing your very relevant thoughts. It's always a pleasure to hear what you're thinking.

Carina Reinhardt wrote: Thank you for your nice post. About the three Ds one should think about small aims and fulfill them and so step by step with the 3rd D daily discipline one can reach everything what he wants.

Thank you for reading and responding.

Actually I tend to think about the direction as what you aim through, the decision is to reach in (an beyond), and the daily discipline is the small aim of getting up everyday an putting one foot in front of the other without excuses.

I often think we aim too small.

Thoughts?

Clark Bateman wrote: One day at a time is a very good way to attack the timeline.

Thanks for reading and responding my friend.

Yes agreed, at the end of the daily discipline it is useful to offer some reward that reinforces the effort.

I have seen many people live one-day-at-a-time with no reference to a time line. Just repeating the same day over and over again. Which is okay if you had a great day and don't really care if you cover any distance.

Thoughts?

PS: Looking forward to sharing space and time again.

Lynn Seiser wrote: Thank you for reading and responding. Actually I tend to think about the direction as what you aim through, the decision is to reach in (an beyond), and the daily discipline is the small aim of getting up everyday an putting one foot in front of the other without excuses. I often think we aim too small. Thoughts?

Sometimes it is better to aim small and get it done than aim great and go flat, you mentioned enough examples. It is also in aikido when you begin first you must become 6th kyu, you cannot aim to become shodan in the first year,every thing takes its time..

Hi Lynn,
I think it's crucial to understand the importance of not just the new day but the new instant.

Time is a never ending flow from a series of past instances to the present instant and into an infinite series of future instances. The importance of the present instant is that it is the only point in time where action takes place. We can't act in the past because it is over and we cannot go back We can't act in the future because it isn't here yet and we are firmly anchored in the present. So everything that actually "happens" is happening right now.

I think Enlightenment is the attainment of that understanding on a true experiential level and not just as an intellectual level. I think that can be why, especially in a randori with multiple attackers, people often have a fairly profound experience because they exist in that present instant of continuous present instances, sometimes for the first time in their lives.

At least in theory, the realization of the importance of this present instant gives one almost complete freedom of action (at least within the limitations set by natural law). In this present instant you could decide to change anything in your life... absolutely anything. But of course reality sets in when you realize that, despite the complete freedom to chose a path that exists in every instant, some paths leading out from this instant are easier and take less effort than others.

Why is this true? Because the infinite future that exists before us is really just set of probabilities. These probabilities are determined by the string of past actions and choices that lead from the string of past instances to the present and set up the probabilities of the future.

So why is this relevant? Because it totally determines how our choices effect our outcomes. The guys you talked to who said they'd like to have your martial skills could choose at any time to walk into a dojo.They are completely free to do so. What prevents them? Well, the string of past choices they've made hasn't made the set of probabilities ahead of them including Aikido very likely, even less so that they do Aikido really seriously. It would take a major change in the direction of their lives to choose to train. Nothing prevents them from doing so but just as with inertia in physics, it takes energy to change the direction of ones life and the greater the change the greate the amount of energy it takes.

So that friends who says he'd like to train probably won't. He won't because he has the habit of grading his papers in the evening, or watching TV with his wife and kids. His wife might divorce him if he suddenly alters the entire pattern of his life up til now.

So few people think in these terms... It's like they move through life accidentally. Take the Aikido student who states to me that he wants to by a teacher someday and wants to have a dojo. Given the fact that he was talented, training hard, loving it and being successful teaching class at the school. this possible future looked fairly probable. Just a matter of time and effort and the effort was already there. The choices he had made up to that point were totally in accord with his desired future outcome.

But, virtually at the same time, he finds a girlfriend who doesn't support his training, doesn't understand why he does it, doesn't care that it's an essential part of who he is, and resents the time he spends doing it. He proceeds to make a series of choices that are totally not in accord with his stated goal of being able to teach Aikido someday. And it all seemed as if it just happened, not intentionally but because he had competing desires and didn't make a set of choices that would allow both.

People do this all the time. They don't seem to recognize that the choices they make right now determine those probable futures. Another example would be the folks who periodically post that there is no competent teacher of Aikido in their town, one is two hours away. So you tell him to drive the two hours three times a week and go train with that teacher. Seems like a no-brainer but the fellow then proceeds to tell you why he can't do that. So you tell him to move somewhere where there is a good teacher. He then tells you why he can't do that. There is simply no solution to his problem of wanting to do Aikido that doesn't involve the expenditure of more energy to make it probable than he is willing to expend. Yet he seems to not understand this. He wants to be told that there's a correspondence course where you ca study off videos and train that way. And there's usually some unscrupulous fellow out there who will gladly part this guy from his money so that he can "do Aikido" without putting the energy into really doing it.

So, when students look at their priorities, they need to be ever mindful of this. If you are in a college club and love Aikido, look for a dojo you want to train at and seek employment there. Don't take a job that is in a city with no dojos you like. It's far easier to set up your future probabilities that include satisfactory Aikido training if at the start of your career you take that into consideration than making other decisions and then trying to find a way to accommodate something that at that point takes far more energy to accomplish.

I have had students who loved training who no longer train because they took a promotion at work. Because they acquired the wrong partner. Because they decided to have babies. etc. Because they made all sorts of choices that made Aikido an improbable future for them.

It's not that one set of outcomes is better than any other necessarily. It's just that often people don't make their choices mindfully i.e. if I get together with this partner, I will never train enough to be good. If I decide to have children now, by the time they are grown I will not be able to train as hard as I can now when my body is still at its peak. If I choose a profession that requires work at night i.e. body worker, as an example, I'll never be in class with the Chief Instructor because he or she only teaches when I have to work on clients.

The point is to be intentional and understand that every choice we make in this instant, on this present "new day" determines our future probabilities. It's not that we don't have the freedom to make other choices in any future instant, we do. But the energy required to change direction from one set of probable futures to a radically different probable future can often be so great that we perceive the choices to be impossible.

Be intentional in your choices and understand how those current choices effect your future probabilities. This, in the end, is the way to "go with the flow". The flow your are in today was set up last year, last week, and yesterday. Set the flow up properly and you are happy much of the time. Live "accidentally" and you'll often find yourself swimming up stream.

George S. Ledyard wrote: Be intentional in your choices and understand how those current choices effect your future probabilities. This, in the end, is the way to "go with the flow". The flow your are in today was set up last year, last week, and yesterday. Set the flow up properly and you are happy much of the time. Live "accidentally" and you'll often find yourself swimming up stream.

Thank you for reading and responding.

I often ask people how they stop themselves from having what they really want. Surprisingly, most know.

I ask if they know what they have to do to get it. Surprising, most know.

I then suggest they aim through the stopping and just do the doing.

Some one once said that if you don't have a plan to succeed, they you have a plan to fail. IMHO, there is no moment without the past's direction and momentum. As they say that if you always do what you always have done, you will get what you always got.

Mindfulness of intent in the instant can create some magical moments.

And the nice thing is that because we created them, we can create more of them. Now that's a stream I want to swim in.

Thoughts?

To reiterate:

Life-mission-destiny
you have a life
you have a mission
you make choices which influence your destiny

Free will and a deterministic view are therefore compatible.

It is interesting that you say most people, know what they want and what they need to do to achieve it, and stumble at the final hurdle; doing it. People have difficulty making tough choices, If I don't take that promotion then maybe it will never happen and I will be poor forever. If I don't marry this man maybe I wont meet anybody a die old and lonely. If we do something about the environmental issues maybe the corporate lobby groups wont fund me again and I wont get re-elected.

People are often haunted by past events or live in fear of the future, or worse still, they begin to fear, fear itself, and get caught in a trap. The first gateway to achieving an escape, as suggested, is a realization of a here-now existence. Only then can we begin to put our lives in order, and begin to build the life-mission and destiny that we all want, happy, harmonious, joyful, exciting, impassioned lives. (Whether this includes Aikido or not, to me is irrelevant)

Keith Gates wrote: To reiterate: Life-mission-destiny you have a life you have a mission you make choices which influence your destiny

Yes agreed.

Life is a statement of opportunity.
Mission is a statement of direction.
Choice is a statement of intent and daily discipline.

We have a choice: we can have fear or we can have love but we cannot have both.

Thanks for reading and responding.

Thank you for an interesting article as always. It goes to the heart of budo training.

Lynn Seiser wrote: I have seen many people live one-day-at-a-time with no reference to a time line. Just repeating the same day over and over again. Which is okay if you had a great day and don't really care if you cover any distance.

Goals are important and necessary for many things in life. A valid short term goal in the martial arts could maybe be a grade or a technique. But finding clear, measurable and achievable goals is not so simple in budo. The real goal is to be the best budoka you can be and the best person you can be. So the journey becomes the destination. And the destination is the goal. The journey - the true sincere journey - is the goal. That is a difficult concept to relate to goal-setting. So finally we all have a responsibilty - to our budo and to ourselves - not to live the same day over and over again.

Niall Matthews wrote: Goals are important and necessary for many things in life. A valid short term goal in the martial arts could maybe be a grade or a technique. But finding clear, measurable and achievable goals is not so simple in budo.

Yes agreed.

IMHO, goals/belts are are great initial incentive in Martial Arts (or because its technique I often think of it as a Martial Craft).

However, goals only take you are far as the goal. In Budo I would think that the direction/path aims much further than any goal because it just continues. It is not the content, but the very process of training (daily discipline) that matters.

A little OCD but I know the daily discipline doesn't make the world go round and nother really bad will globally happen if I stop, but it keeps my world together and my life is better when I an make progress in a positive direction.

I remember a good friend I trained with who was always asked why he trained since he was older, had high belt in several arts, and had not intention of opening his own school. He would smile and simple say he trained to train.

Thoughts?

Thanks for reading and responding.

To put it another way;
Life is like a piece of music. Not one musician in history ever played in order to finish the piece.

This is a little aside but it is such a wonderful translation I couldnt resist.

'Aum'so chanted, in parable, the ancient Indian Seers-
Is the three-fold basic vibration, the musical SOUND
'To Be', being, and ceasing-from-being
Unfolding as a lovely flower, eight-petalled,
An octive of consequential notes :
Seven the grades, the interlocking ratios,
The fellowship linking the Many in the One
With the bond of brotherhood, of a common Father as sons.

'A', they said, as they chanted solemnly,
Is the sound of building up,
'M' they said, is the sound of breaking down,
And 'U' is the bridging sound of serialization
Sustaining, extending, holding in balance
The ebb and the flow of Being's course
- The 'Yang' and the 'Yin' the Chinese poets called it -
The relation between that we know as Time,
as Space, or as Consciousness,
Enabling the 'I' to conceive a 'Thou'.

Gayatri, the Indian Sages called this measure,
The 'bird' Gayatri, swift hawk, flight of the Eagle to the Sun,
Bearer of the Plant of continued life
From generation to generation, spanning Time.
Said they, who hummed this Mantra Sound,
Seeking thus to demonstrate

The Wheel of the law progession :
Within the Cause lies the Effect,
Within the 'I' the seed of 'Thou',
Within that inconceivable, the limitless Eternal,
Lies Time, Space, what is, and what is not,
The germ of generation.

The 'Heart' that 'speaks', the Egyptian Seers called it -
That utters the 'Word' we know as 'Creation'.
'Thoth', they named it, Tougue and Messenger,
Executive of the Power To Be.

Eight-petalled Lotus, City of the Eight,
Octave of potentiality, all things containing,
Maintaining, and at the end resuming :
Lovely Harmonia's musical manifestation,
Source and Sum of Number,
Father and Mother of Doing, Being, and Knowing -
Within thy cup, O Flower, those Seers saw enshirned
The Golden Seed of Being's Cycle :
Verily, they sang, the Heart of the Lotus is One.

I love this thread, I'll be back to read it more closely. Just jumping around with a few thoughts, the latest post reminds me of a book I have somewhere, maybe in a family storage locker where I put my favorite books. It was quotations from the Rig Veda and I think the photographs may have been taken in Africa, to be similar to some Indian scenery. The last post is beautiful and worth study for meaning and poetry reasons both.

I confess to having been an airhead during a lot of my life, so the words discipline and dedication and direction are"a puzzlement " to me. I can remember deep snows where I managed to borrow my parents' car to go thru freshly plowed snow with high banks on either side to get to the train to a seminar. Maybe I just thought Aikido was beautiful, maybe I was used to training and didn't want to stop, I knew it was a good habit to keep.

Can you always get back on track? thanks to friends on Aiki Web I have so many assurances that the step back may not be so hard to find.

By alll means, continue, but if interrupted, find a way to step back on, you will know when, and if it doesn't work out then, there will be another opportunity to seize.

Anyway, that's the way I see it.

Keith Gates wrote: To put it another way; Life is like a piece of music. Not one musician in history ever played in order to finish the piece.

And I'll take mine as jazz, with a subtle melody, a solid bass, and a lot of improvisation.

Thanks for reading and responding.

Diana Frese wrote: Can you always get back on track?

IMHO, yes.

Thanks for reading and responding.

Thank you very much Lynn for sharing those great movies.

Carina Reinhardt wrote: Thank you very much Lynn for sharing those great movies.

I love movies.

Even bad movies.

Most of the time there is that one-liner that just says it all.

Thanks for reading and responding.

Great pearls of wisdom here!
Doc Sexton

Randy Sexton wrote: Great pearls of wisdom here!

Hey Doc,

Good to hear from you.

Not sure the next time I'll be up your way. Watching the calendar and looking forward to it.

No pearls and no wisdom.

Just sharing thoughts like I share the mat.

Hope to see you soon.

Thank you for a great post sensei,
I have been pondering over what you wrote in the article. I wonder whether one must have a abstract huge goal as in "to follow our heart" or "to be of service to others" or "to bring joy to others" or have short term concrete goals? The reason i ask that is because oftentimes, we hear the saying "release the expectations or release your desire for results". But, if we do set goals, we are bound by it then and everytime we train, we would be measuring that only. Would it not close our minds to anything else that might enter the equation which may change our direction altogether?
Thank you for your time,
Piyush

Piyush Kumar wrote: I wonder whether one must have a abstract huge goal as in "to follow our heart" or "to be of service to others" or "to bring joy to others" or have short term concrete goals? The reason i ask that is because oftentimes, we hear the saying "release the expectations or release your desire for results". But, if we do set goals, we are bound by it then and everytime we train, we would be measuring that only. Would it not close our minds to anything else that might enter the equation which may change our direction altogether?

IMHO, it can depend on how you set you goals.

A goal can be a direction you want to go.
A goal can be the type of person you want to be.
A goal can be a characteristic you want to cultivate.
A goal can be in the present of future (can't change the past).
A goal can be big/abstract or small/concrete.

IMHO, I am not always a fan of "staying in the present" and "going with the flow". When I did that the flow went down the drain because my external environment was directing the flow, not me, and I haven't always been in a positive external environment.

IMHO, I have a goal of just trying to be a good man (honor) in everything I do from this day (a while back) forward. I have to stay open to the moment and flow to make sure I am still doing the right thing to be simply a good man, nothing more (and nothing less). I am not bound by it but committed to it.

You must be reading my mind about this month;s coming article on decisions, directions, and daily discipline.

Thanks for reading, responding, and keeping the discussion going.

Thank you for taking the time to respond sensei,
I guess where-ever the answer lies, in the present flow or the future intention, it is like air. I cannot see it, only feel it. Now i understand why o sensei always taught in riddles. These concepts really are impossible to put into words.
For now though, i'll shut up and train.
Thank you for putting up with a student's immature questions.
Piyush

Piyush Kumar wrote: I guess where-ever the answer lies, in the present flow or the future intention, it is like air. I cannot see it, only feel it.

IMHO, with patience and awareness we can see it, hear it, and feel it.

Maybe some day we will be able to put it into words and be able to communicate it.

For now, we babble and hope it is of some small assistance.

Thoughts?

Lynn Seiser wrote: IMHO, with patience and awareness we can see it, hear it, and feel it. Maybe some day we will be able to put it into words and be able to communicate it. For now, we babble and hope it is of some small assistance. Thoughts?

Your words offer great guidance sensei, they help remind me of which direction i should take or at least it leads me to contemplate the nature of things which we tend to forget in the course of our daily lives. But increasingly, i have come to understand that words in and of themselves are encompassed only in our dimensional world. They cannot describe anything beyond a 4th dimension (3 dimensions in space and 4th dimension being time). All we may rely on is our intuitive wisdom to feel the things that cannot be described. And as you always write, kwatz..back to training. . Even this one line holds the key to all the secrets that we try to unravel using our intelligence.
But then again, everything is as it should be for the present and it is perfect as it is. Perhaps in the future, it might become better. (I am drawing a little from the knowledge that my yoga teacher passed on to me).
Thank you for your time and your kind guidance,
Your's truly,
Piyush