Thoughts on Aikiweb

Graham Jenkins wrote: '29. If you find that you are being beaten, you can create a diversion -- that is, you can suddenly begin to talk of something else, as though it had a bearing on the matter in dispute.'

I have it, on paper, and you're not going to burn it. Grow a bit.

Demetrio Cereijo wrote: I have it, on paper, and you're not going to burn it. Grow a bit.

Hahaha.

Demetrio Cereijo wrote: Is chosing another route the only option available? Are you sure there are not other alternatives like complaining to higher authorities, making the community involved, organizing protests, calling the media, lawyer jutsu, etc.

Seems to me those ARE other routes.

Demetrio Cereijo wrote: Annoyance, like love, is in the eyes of the beholder.

Not if the goal is to annoy. Here in the United States, this behavior is known colloquially as "shit-stirring". Having nothing as its objective but the originator's amusement at the distress of others, it is a worthless pastime.

Demetrio Cereijo wrote: Maybe what annoys you (a general you, don't take this as particularly adressed to you) is seeing how your thoughs or opinions are not validated by everybody but seen with contempt. Try to put yourself in the annoyer shoes.

I will grant you this as a valid statement in general. However, this thread originated as a jump-off from a particular thread, so...I think it is unfair in the extreme for you to characterize the annoyance as being based on "not [being] validated by everybody" (emphasis mine). I don't think we're talking about someone who wilts and cries for the waaaahmbulance when everyone doesn't validate whatever they say. We're not talking about someone who starts a thread with an "aikido is" or "ki is" or "proper alignment is" or "what the hell ever is" statement and then gets bent out of shape when everyone doesn't agree with them. We're talking about a legitimate objection to starting a thread on a topic that is quite within the purview of aikiweb, and then having it pissed all over by people who attack the very presence of the topic. That's what's been happening. That's what has to stop.

Mary Malmros wrote: Seems to me those ARE other routes.

Yes, but are routes aimed to solve the problem. Like starting this thread.

Not if the goal is to annoy. Here in the United States, this behavior is known colloquially as "shit-stirring". Having nothing as its objective but the originator's amusement at the distress of others, it is a worthless pastime.

I don't think this kind of behaviour has to be tolerated. Also, putting the shit-stirrer on ignore is not solving the conflict in an aikido* manner, avoidance is not actively restoring harmony IMO.

We're talking about a legitimate objection to starting a thread on a topic that is quite within the purview of aikiweb, and then having it pissed all over by people who attack the very presence of the topic. That's what's been happening. That's what has to stop.

Let's talk clear. We're talking about Mr. Wastaffe, isn't it?

If so, I don't find him especially annoying. He lacks "the funny" but years of rum, sodomy and lash have this effect. Anyway, If you feel his behavior is innapropiate, call him out and kick his e-arse. We're martial artists, or so we consider ourselves.

*beacuse my understanding of aikido is the "irimi-atemi-throw-pin-makemydaypunk"

Demetrio Cereijo wrote: Anyway, If you feel his behavior is innapropiate, call him out and kick his e-arse. We're martial artists, or so we consider ourselves. *beacuse my understanding of aikido is the "irimi-atemi-throw-pin-makemydaypunk"

Maybe that's your understanding of aikido, but if I invited you to a party and you came to my house, and that was your understanding of how you ought to deal with inappropriate behavior, you'd be out on your ear just as fast as the original offender. It's not your house, and it's not your prerogative to start a brawl in it if someone decides to get mouthy. This is a forum, and no matter how much of a martial artist you or anyone else considers yourself to be, the behavior called for is behavior appropriate to a forum, not a fight ring.

I was hoping this would not devolve into a specific discussion of individuals.....

Janet Rosen wrote: I was hoping this would not devolve into a specific discussion of individuals.....

Ironically, I think this is the one thread where he hasn't posted.

...yet, anyway.

Good thread.
I agree, they do need a 'like' button.

I think when two people have utterly opposing views of reality, they often don't have a leg to stand on with each other, and just need to agree to disagree sort of. Like if I thought it was okay to kill puppies for fun, in fact it is my family legacy to kill puppies at every birthday and festival, and you thought it was horrible.(This is an exaggeration obviously) We wouldn't share the same world reality. There is nothing more to discuss at the point where your moral base is opposing. Just got to know when a topic won't go anywhere in that regards and let it go, else we all get upset and feel like we are slamming our heads into a wall. LOL Because we are pretty much.

Hi folks,

I see no reason why we need to move this discussion to the topic of specific people, so please let's stay away from such. As an aside, I find it ironic, at the very least, that this thread which asks for civility in the manner of our postings and moving away from discussions aimed at the person in the content of our postings is starting to move away from both.

Perhaps in a similar vein, I would rather have a community which understands and subscribes to conducting discussions in a civil manner over one that may be more "vibrant" which fosters disrespectful behavior. I've done what I can (imperfectly, of course) to maintain such a standard, even when it meant pushing away people whose behavior got in their way of contributing positively, no matter their experience level and acumen regarding the topics being discussed -- and I will continue doing so.

Best,

-- Jun

Jun, it's a fine line to walk as moderator: not a role I'd want and you do it exceedingly well.

Demetrio Cereijo wrote: Is chosing another route the only option available? Are you sure there are not other alternatives like complaining to higher authorities, making the community involved, organizing protests, calling the media, lawyer jutsu, etc.

Sure. But there are many roads and many potholes, and a lifetime isn't long enough to fix them all. So we each must choose which ones to fix, and which ones to simply drive around.

In this lifetime, at least, I'm more interested in what my teachers and my sempai have to say about my aikido than in some random person on the Internet bragging about what a bada&$ he is.

(And of course some people will say that means I'm deluding myself. Sure. Whatever. Come train with us and then you'll have the right to an opinion.)

Katherine

Mary Malmros wrote: Maybe that's your understanding of aikido, but if I invited you to a party and you came to my house, and that was your understanding of how you ought to deal with inappropriate behavior, you'd be out on your ear just as fast as the original offender. It's not your house, and it's not your prerogative to start a brawl in it if someone decides to get mouthy. This is a forum, and no matter how much of a martial artist you or anyone else considers yourself to be, the behavior called for is behavior appropriate to a forum, not a fight ring.

Nicely put, Mary.

Boisterous posting is not the only way of showing rude behavior.

There are some here on Aikiweb and on this thread who use a more polite passive aggressive way of being rude.
.
Some are;

Long worded posts that either ramble on or repeat a point already established.

Personal conversations inside a thread a PM would be better suited for.

Always disagreeing with an individual regardless of what they post.

Incorrect or exaggerated information that is the basis of their statements.

Posting comments that fuel the rude behavior.

Etc.

You don't need an ignore button to ignore someone.

If you click on your own name at the left on one of your own posts there is a " Find all posts by" feature that will allow you to see all of your own posts.

Sort of a like looking at yourself in the mirror.

David

Mary Malmros wrote: Maybe that's your understanding of aikido, but if I invited you to a party and you came to my house, and that was your understanding of how you ought to deal with inappropriate behavior, you'd be out on your ear just as fast as the original offender. It's not your house, and it's not your prerogative to start a brawl in it if someone decides to get mouthy. This is a forum, and no matter how much of a martial artist you or anyone else considers yourself to be, the behavior called for is behavior appropriate to a forum, not a fight ring

Fine then, let's leave this issue to Jun, he does a good work. But then I feel opening threads like this one make no sense.

In the future, if someone feels he/she is harassed/mocked/annoyed report the offender to Jun. If Jun does not act accordingly your interests, go post in another forum, there are lots of them.

What is civil for people like "Reg" should be applied to you. Lead with example and don't be hypocrites.

Fantastic post, David.

In fact, using the ignore feature might well be included on your list, at least for members who post.

Onegaishimasu, the way we speak, the expressions we choose to use, do make a difference to all of our imaginative creations. Thanks Janet, for posting this thread.

In gassho,

Mark

Yes, very very good: http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/showpo...0&postcount=38. Thanks David.