View Full Version : Cautionary tales

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Tim W
12-09-2002, 06:25 AM
Originally, I wanted this post to begin a thread that would promote tips, tricks and vital information to the newer Aikidoka in particular, like breathing out when breakfalling (story for another time...), mind you, more experienced members have always got something new to learn I'm sure!

However (it's that word again), due to the reactions received in my telling of this cautionary tale, the humour section was chosen by default.
By way of explanation there's a term for the dangly bits below the navel that the British male Aikidoka may know as the 'knackers' (Scottish members may know them as 'betty swallocks' - other colloquialisms no doubt come to mind from your own particular part of the world....).

My story begins during warm up which naturally graduated onto breakfalls. I was still feeling slightly 'unfocused' due to (a superb) Sunday lunch about 2 hours prior to training and a 'heavy' Saturday night (sorry bathroom.... - It was getting quite hot in the dojo too). My favoured left side breakfall went without a hitch (you'll see why in a munite), I then proceeded to roll onto my right. The launch, roll and initial landing were fine - you may have experienced this, but time seemed to sloooooooow as I sensed something 'stiiiiiiiicking' to my inside leg as the left leg hit the mat - closely followed by the right causing a "saaaaandwiching" effect on one particular 'swallock' (the right if I remember correctly.....) (if anyone knows the japanese for this please let me know - the 'sandwiching' effect preferably). Time speeded back up and a sharp pain, a red face and some huffing and puffing then ensued, all the while trying (and successfully done I might add!) to hide my anguish from my fellow Aikidoka. It took a few long moments to recover what composure was available.

Later that day I related the story to my loving and caring partner (non Aikidoka and New Zealander...) in the hope of inducing some sympathy.... perhaps there's another japanese term for immobilising a person without actually touching them, but she proceeded to double over and let out strangely constricted squaking noises, tears then appeared interspersed with choked words asking something about whether I'd like mustard with that??!

In fact, this seems to be the response (the mention of mustard has only come from my dearest partner though), in varying degrees, from everyone the story has been related to so far.
My belief in the human race as a caring and compassionate set of beings has been severely dented and the majority, minus the odd exception of course (being human... - they'd all take the p***) of my fellow dojo Aikidoka would no doubt not let it lie with future comments and probably a nickname appearing on the mat.

Don't tell them!

Best wishes to all and don't forget those pieces of 'vital information'! - talcum powder's my number 1 so far....

kung fu hamster
12-09-2002, 09:22 AM
Hey, at least yours was self-induced. I'd like to take this opportunity to remind folks that as you move in to pin a woman in ikkyo, kneeling on her tits is verboten.


12-09-2002, 09:38 AM
And as a guy in our club always reminds us: A ponytail is not a extra grip for doing irimi nage.

I still wonder why

12-09-2002, 09:41 AM
Tim, am I understanding you correctly if you were explaining how to do the famous nutcracker-ukemi? :D

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

12-09-2002, 10:31 PM
Every so often I'll see some guy with that look of hidden pain and I'll quietly walk up to him and say "You jingled your dingles didn't you?" They almost always nod and I send them for water ;)


12-10-2002, 03:38 AM
The nutcracker's dire, but I have to hold out for the "chest hair grab" as the one which elicits the most amusement and least sympathy, especially from female practitioners (and callow youths).

My dumbest injury was, I guess, the female version of the chest-hair grab. Little finger hooked bra-strap instead of gi. As the technique was on the move, neither of us noticed until my body tried to part company with my finger. Found out a good sports bra is much stronger than finger joints...

Eric, must agree, all pony-tails, pigtails etc are not valid or extremely useful targets, unless they just happen to come to hand of course.

12-10-2002, 05:28 AM
hey, our sensei tells us you cant get a better grip than hair for irimi nage.... he says if its there, grab it! hence everyone in our dojo has a shaved head!

as for the nutcracker.... i was once uke for someones grading and i took a nutcracker on the left side from a koshi-nage, had to get up and get thrown again.... and still had a fair bit of the damn grading left. no time to recover for me. but i guess its my fault for always wearing boxers. ive learnt now... and its very rare that it happens, but on occassion it does. i really should remember to change to briefs for training purposes.....