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Home > Humor > The Amazing Nikyomatic
by Chuck Gordon <Send E-mail to Author> - 3. Mar, 1998

The Amazing Nikyomatic!

Do you have nikyoitis? Trouble blending when nage starts putting the pressure on? Relief is at hand!

Wanabe Ichinomji Inc. has developed the amazing Nikyomatic! With its solid, half-pipe PVC construction with solid surgical steel rivets and the LATEST hook and loop closure, Nikyomatic is the answer to all your wrist flexibility problems.

Just strap this baby on and use the convenient Velcro (tm) straps to bend and lock that wrist into the perfect nikyo position. Use Nikyomatic just twelve minutes a day, and you'll soon be laughing off your sensei's best nikyo!

Order YOUR Nikyomatic NOW and make four easy payments of $29.95! (VISA/MC/AMEX accepted)

The first hundred orders will include a convenient and comfortable closed-cell foam lining and faux sheepskin cover to make using your Nikyomatic even more warm and fuzzy!

This is the greatest aid to aikido training since O-Sensei first whacked an Iwama farmer with his jo!

But don't take our word for it, read what our satisfied customers have to say:

"I've used Nikyomatic every day for a year and my wrists are so flexible! The tendons have stretched so much I can scratch my left elbow ... with my left hand!"
-- Tako Wasabi, 2nd dan, shihan, Nogo Combat Aikido, Inc.

"Nikyomatic has been an answer to my prayers! Before I started using Nikyomatic, I tapped out when nage THOUGHT about applying pressure, but now ... hell, I just LOVE to get cranked on! I wear mine all night, Mistress, er, Nage just loves 'em!"
-- Leo von Sacher Masoch, 3rd kyu, M. DeSade Aikibudo Juku

"What's a nikyo?"
-- G. McCleweless, 10th kyu, Isshin Ryu

  • Wanabe Ichinomji Inc. President: Chuck "I'm not just the Nikyo Club president, I'm a member!" Gordon

  • Left Coast licensed distributor: Cady "Toe-to-head" Goldfield

  • Middle-land licensed distributor: Dennis "Dog-god" Hooker

  • Right Coast licensed distributor: Ivan "I'm-Crazy-about-Nikyomatic" V.

Nikyomatic is a proud sponsor of the First-Ever Aikido-L Seminar and Beerfest.

Chuck Gordon
The Dojo
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