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Old 09-22-2005, 10:14 PM   #26
emma.mason15
Dojo: Shima Arashi Dojo
Location: Dorset (my luvvers! ohhhh arrrrr) uk
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 319
United Kingdom
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Re: Creating a McDojo

Lan Powers Wife ....
The hakama and gi are in the warehouse ready for dispatch ......
(all i need now is a cheque for 200) ....
i may even throw in a spotted belt!!!

Dance your cares away .... worry for another day ... let the music play .... down in fraggle rock!

when bored ... do as I do. Poke a patient!
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Old 09-22-2005, 11:28 PM   #27
Sanshouaikikai
Dojo: Kin Tora Martial Arts and Fitness Center
Location: Buffalo, New York
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 102
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Re: Creating a McDojo

Quote:
John Matsushima wrote:
I can help you out by teaching at your dojo. I am a soke 16th dan who learned Shaolin Aikido from Grandmaster Wynn. Let's start by advertising a 6 month program with a free uniform. People can pay to be part of our association and then they can practice at any Shaolin Ninja Tiger School in the world (and there are three by the way). We'll put lots of trophies in the windows, and hold competitions to attract customers, er...i mean students. People will be so interested to learn our style because unlike other Aikido schools, the Shaolin Ninja Tiger School also teaches boxing, greek roman wrestling, black AND white ninja tactics, and basket weaving. ( I do also hold a black belt in all those arts in addition to seven others by the way). Be sure to put an ad in the phone book and newspapers with a family all dressed in gi's smiling and doing ninja poses. Please consider me for the postition. I forgot to mention that I was a member of Seal Team Six, a former Green Beret, Army Ranger and Captain of the SWAT team.

Sincerely,
Johnny Matsu
Quiet as a ninja and smooth as sushi.

Wow! Basically every martial art school (not just limited to the TKD places mind you! lol!) have such ads in the phone book here in Buffalo! LOL! And I HATE how Black Belt Magazine and other publications have the odacity to put such ads where the instructor was in virtually every special forces team in the military and law enforcement! LOL!
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Old 09-22-2005, 11:37 PM   #28
Sanshouaikikai
Dojo: Kin Tora Martial Arts and Fitness Center
Location: Buffalo, New York
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 102
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Re: Creating a McDojo

I was the best INTERPOL agent around!!! I was also a SEAL, Green Beret, USMC Force Recon member, U.S. Army Ranger, commissioner of the police dept. in which Mr. Matsushima was the captain of the SWAT team, and Erie Co. New York Sheriff. I also forgot to mention my CIA, FBI, ATF, DEA, and Swiss Army experience! Am I hired? lol!
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Old 09-22-2005, 11:39 PM   #29
Sanshouaikikai
Dojo: Kin Tora Martial Arts and Fitness Center
Location: Buffalo, New York
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 102
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Re: Creating a McDojo

My skills have also been time tested in over 2 seasons in the Octagon!
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Old 09-23-2005, 04:01 AM   #30
Lee Mulgrew
Dojo: Dynamic Aikido Noquet Hartlepool England
Location: Hartlepool
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 88
United Kingdom
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Re: Creating a McDojo

Ok, Ok, enough! John Matsushirma, and Alan. M. Rodriguez.......
Which one of you is the real Steven Segal?!
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Old 09-23-2005, 04:06 AM   #31
emma.mason15
Dojo: Shima Arashi Dojo
Location: Dorset (my luvvers! ohhhh arrrrr) uk
Join Date: Jun 2005
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Re: Creating a McDojo

damnit ... u both sound so good I'll have to hire you!
but bear in mind that i am not onli aikidoka ... but the wizzard of Oz too! .... so u have been warned ...

Dance your cares away .... worry for another day ... let the music play .... down in fraggle rock!

when bored ... do as I do. Poke a patient!
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Old 09-23-2005, 05:19 AM   #32
John Matsushima
 
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Location: Miura, Japan
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Re: Creating a McDojo

Quote:
Darin Hyde wrote:
Online aikido classes or how about an aikido home kit? Can be done from the comfort of your own home. Guaranteed black belt or your money back. We will even throw in an ukemi-cruncher to work those abs. Wait there's more! A set of bokken steak knives!!! And for those who order in the next five minutes you will get a complementary hakama apron and a CD of Steven Seagal's greatest hits!!!!
Ha Ha Ha....LOL You crack me up! How about this?

THE 20 Minute AIKIAB system....

As used by Bruce Lee, this system is the secret to martial arts mastery!!!

"I was so impressed by this, that I decided to base my own TOTAL GYM on it, and now I can run faster, and kick even higher, not to mention that it helped me to lose all my body hair!"
- Chuck Norris

The 20 minute AIKIAB system is one which uses the principle of harmony and no power to strengthen your abs and lose pounds of unwanted body fat.

All you have to do is keep your center for twenty minutes a day by joining with the natural force of the universe. Use the power of your breath to shed cellulite!

"I once was incredibly fat, and now I still am, but thanks to the AIKIAB system, now my fatness is in harmony with the universe"
- John M.

The 20 minute AIKIAB system used a patented set of workout exercises developed by Soke 16th dan Johnny Matsu. We guarantee you will be in perfect harmony with the universe within thirty days, or your money back!!

AIKIAB routine

5 min - meditation
5 min - tenkan
5 min - break
5 min - meditation

(hey, wait a minuite - I think that is how my practice goes !!!)

Last edited by John Matsushima : 09-23-2005 at 05:26 AM.
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Old 09-23-2005, 08:21 AM   #33
kocakb
Dojo: Burhan Felek Sport Center-Istanbul
Location: Istanbul
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 110
Turkey
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Re: Creating a McDojo

I offer to bring your aiki order to your home. And if you don't get your order delivered in 20 minutes, you will get 1 portion Kİ for free.

PS: for the ones who don't know what Ki is;

1 Ki = 1.251 midiclorion (Jedi force, Star Wars)
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Old 09-23-2005, 01:33 PM   #34
maeukemi
Dojo: Kyushinkan dojo - Roswell, GA
Location: Woodstock, GA
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 25
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Re: Creating a McDojo

How about a collection of Super-Pysched Aikidoka action figures for the kids? Collect all 31 and get a free bokken! Or Super Soaker Special Edition Water Bottles...perfect for the truly intense practitioner. Or aikidogotchi keychains! for only 4.99!
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Old 09-23-2005, 01:51 PM   #35
Psy-Kosh
Dojo: Huron Valley Aikikai/Ann Arbor MI
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 10
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Re: Creating a McDojo

Wait.. one more thing for the uniform... After the black belts, one can earn "supersoker lightbelts" with a bunch of colored flashing LEDs woven in.

Batteries not included.
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Old 09-23-2005, 01:53 PM   #36
Psy-Kosh
Dojo: Huron Valley Aikikai/Ann Arbor MI
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Re: Creating a McDojo

Oh, and I like the "mcdojo" icon.
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Old 09-23-2005, 03:15 PM   #37
James Davis
 
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Dojo: Ft. Myers School of Aikido
Location: Ft. Myers, FL.
Join Date: Apr 2005
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Re: Creating a McDojo

Quote:
Emma Mason wrote:
damnit ... u both sound so good I'll have to hire you!
but bear in mind that i am not onli aikidoka ... but the wizzard of Oz too! .... so u have been warned ...
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

"The only difference between Congress and drunken sailors is that drunken sailors spend their own money." -Tom Feeney, representative from Florida
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Old 09-23-2005, 09:34 PM   #38
emma.mason15
Dojo: Shima Arashi Dojo
Location: Dorset (my luvvers! ohhhh arrrrr) uk
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 319
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Re: Creating a McDojo

Quote:
Maya Mattison wrote:
How about a collection of Super-Pysched Aikidoka action figures for the kids? Collect all 31 and get a free bokken! Or Super Soaker Special Edition Water Bottles...perfect for the truly intense practitioner. Or aikidogotchi keychains! for only 4.99!

brilliant ... with super shomen action attack .....
ohhh i looooooove it!

Dance your cares away .... worry for another day ... let the music play .... down in fraggle rock!

when bored ... do as I do. Poke a patient!
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Old 09-23-2005, 09:36 PM   #39
emma.mason15
Dojo: Shima Arashi Dojo
Location: Dorset (my luvvers! ohhhh arrrrr) uk
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 319
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Re: Creating a McDojo

Quote:
Josef Katz wrote:
Wait.. one more thing for the uniform... After the black belts, one can earn "supersoker lightbelts" with a bunch of colored flashing LEDs woven in.

Batteries not included.


MAHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<breathe>
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Dance your cares away .... worry for another day ... let the music play .... down in fraggle rock!

when bored ... do as I do. Poke a patient!
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Old 09-24-2005, 05:03 AM   #40
Nick Simpson
Dojo: White Rose Aikido - Durham University
Location: Gateshead
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 916
United Kingdom
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Re: Creating a McDojo

"I was so impressed by this, that I decided to base my own TOTAL GYM on it, and now I can run faster, and kick even higher, not to mention that it helped me to lose all my body hair!"
- Chuck Norris

' F**king Chuck Norris. '

They're all screaming about the rock n roll, but I would say that it's getting old. - REFUSED.
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Old 09-24-2005, 08:02 AM   #41
merlynn
 
merlynn's Avatar
Dojo: lone pine ryu school of aiki kyusho jujutsu ,woking & guildford
Location: kingston upon hull
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 188
United Kingdom
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Re: Creating a McDojo

Quote:
Nick Simpson wrote:
"I was so impressed by this, that I decided to base my own TOTAL GYM on it, and now I can run faster, and kick even higher, not to mention that it helped me to lose all my body hair!"
- Chuck Norris

' F**king Chuck Norris. '
hey nick you leave chuck norris alone

some things are so dear and so precious you have to let them go
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Old 09-24-2005, 10:36 AM   #42
Lan Powers
Dojo: Aikido of Midland, Midland TX
Location: Midland Tx
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 659
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Re: Creating a McDojo

Nick is just refferring to "Dodgeball".....Thats the final tag-line of this REAL stinkeroo.(I loved it, BTW)
I wonder if we could get the coach for the team they had to become a Sensei? I love the dodging flying wrenches bit!!
Lan

Play nice, practice hard, but remember, this is a MARTIAL art!
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Old 09-24-2005, 12:07 PM   #43
emma.mason15
Dojo: Shima Arashi Dojo
Location: Dorset (my luvvers! ohhhh arrrrr) uk
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 319
United Kingdom
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Re: Creating a McDojo

ahhhhh if you dodge a wrench ....
you can dodge ..... what???
i mean personally if you can dodge a wrench ... u can dodge the rest of the toolbox!!!
BACK TO THE DOJO PEEPS!
lol

Dance your cares away .... worry for another day ... let the music play .... down in fraggle rock!

when bored ... do as I do. Poke a patient!
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Old 09-24-2005, 02:12 PM   #44
Sanshouaikikai
Dojo: Kin Tora Martial Arts and Fitness Center
Location: Buffalo, New York
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 102
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Re: Creating a McDojo

Hey, Mr. James Davis, Jr. I really do have all those credentials! I somehow was involved in all those organizations all at the exact same time! I am now long since retired and receiving government pensions from said agencies. I'm 18, mind you.
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Old 09-25-2005, 02:31 AM   #45
Matt Molloy
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 134
Scotland
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Re: Creating a McDojo

Hey! What about the essential McDojo (tm) move?

Using dodgy sword technique, cut through an overly trusting student balanced on a piece of fruit?

(Or is that cut through a piece of fruit balanced on an overly trusting student?.....Damn! I always get that confused. )

Cheers,

Matt.

Last edited by Matt Molloy : 09-25-2005 at 02:34 AM.
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Old 09-25-2005, 03:06 AM   #46
Ali B
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 56
United Kingdom
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Re: Creating a McDojo

Great thread everyone. Too tired to think of anything funny but...

I'm loving it!
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Old 09-26-2005, 03:50 PM   #47
James Davis
 
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Dojo: Ft. Myers School of Aikido
Location: Ft. Myers, FL.
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 716
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Re: Creating a McDojo

Quote:
Alan M. Rodriguez wrote:
I was the best INTERPOL agent around!!! I was also a SEAL, Green Beret, USMC Force Recon member, U.S. Army Ranger, commissioner of the police dept. in which Mr. Matsushima was the captain of the SWAT team, and Erie Co. New York Sheriff. I also forgot to mention my CIA, FBI, ATF, DEA, and Swiss Army experience! Am I hired? lol!
USMC? CIA? FBI? Cool! That's a lot of letters IMHO!
Just don't forget: PB4UGO2BED, or your mattress will be FUBAR.
IM1OICUR12.

"The only difference between Congress and drunken sailors is that drunken sailors spend their own money." -Tom Feeney, representative from Florida
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Old 09-26-2005, 06:53 PM   #48
aikido funky monkey
Dojo: aikido northwest
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 13
United_States
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Talking Re: Creating a McDojo

"I'm loving it"????????sounds like something from mcdonalds.what a coincidence.
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Old 09-26-2005, 06:56 PM   #49
emma.mason15
Dojo: Shima Arashi Dojo
Location: Dorset (my luvvers! ohhhh arrrrr) uk
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 319
United Kingdom
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Re: Creating a McDojo

lmao ..... u guys crack me uyp!!!!
ok .... so got some staff ... and my own action figure ... need more ideas! ...

Dance your cares away .... worry for another day ... let the music play .... down in fraggle rock!

when bored ... do as I do. Poke a patient!
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Old 09-27-2005, 10:11 AM   #50
James Davis
 
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Dojo: Ft. Myers School of Aikido
Location: Ft. Myers, FL.
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 716
United_States
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Re: Creating a McDojo

How about NERF darts shot from a drive-thru window for a lesson in evasion?

"The only difference between Congress and drunken sailors is that drunken sailors spend their own money." -Tom Feeney, representative from Florida
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