Welcome to AikiWeb Aikido Information
AikiWeb: The Source for Aikido Information
AikiWeb's principal purpose is to serve the Internet community as a repository and dissemination point for aikido information.

Sections
home
aikido articles
columns

Discussions
forums
aikiblogs

Databases
dojo search
seminars
image gallery
supplies
links directory

Reviews
book reviews
video reviews
dvd reviews
equip. reviews

News
submit
archive

Miscellaneous
newsletter
rss feeds
polls
about

Follow us on



Home > AikiWeb Aikido Forums
Go Back   AikiWeb Aikido Forums > Humor

Hello and thank you for visiting AikiWeb, the world's most active online Aikido community! This site is home to over 22,000 aikido practitioners from around the world and covers a wide range of aikido topics including techniques, philosophy, history, humor, beginner issues, the marketplace, and more.

If you wish to join in the discussions or use the other advanced features available, you will need to register first. Registration is absolutely free and takes only a few minutes to complete so sign up today!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-17-2005, 12:15 AM   #26
DustinAcuff
Dojo: Tan Aiki Dojo
Location: California
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 202
United_States
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

LOL! Note to self: from now on jokingly disembowel uke before returning his tanto during practice. >)

Myth: being sensei's uke is an honor.

Myth: this won't hurt a bit.
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2005, 05:31 AM   #27
eyrie
 
eyrie's Avatar
Location: Summerholm, Queensland
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,126
Australia
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Quote:
Don J. Modesto wrote:
Up til these conversations I took TANTO DORI lightly. Now I put the weapon on the floor a couple of paces from UKE as a means of returning it.
How about just sticking uke with it instead?

A story was told to me, of one Seino Sensei who came out of the pub, drunk as a skunk, walked out onto the road, into the path of an oncoming car and on impact, casually did a ukemi off the vehicle and continued staggering across the street....

Ignatius
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2005, 06:17 AM   #28
EricH
Dojo: Aikido Institute of Newfoundland
Location: St. John's Newfoundland
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 5
Canada
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Two stories that I have been told:

1. An aikido student was driving a motorcycle when he was struck head-on by a car. His body was thrown over the car and he performed a ukemi on the pavement and thus escaped injury.

2. An aikido master had honed his senses and preception to such a level that he could not ride on the Tokyo subway during rush hour. The noise and press of the crowds overloaded his senses to the point that he could not function.
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2005, 11:12 AM   #29
Don_Modesto
Dojo: Messores Sensei (Largo, Fl.)
Location: Florida
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 1,267
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Quote:
Ignatius Teo wrote:
How about just sticking uke with it instead?
I got the smiley, but I see people doing this on tests, i.e., committing felony battery (if not murder--you are not allowed to turn a weapon on an assailant after disarming him/her of it. Cf. "You do what you train to do"), so it's actually not a joke. Sorry to be a stick in the mud.

Don J. Modesto
St. Petersburg, Florida
------------------------
http://www.theaikidodojo.com/
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2005, 01:12 PM   #30
SteveTrinkle
Dojo: Aikido Kenkyukai International
Location: Ambler, Pennsylvania
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 232
United_States
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Hello Ignatius. Yikes! If Seino Sensei hears about this story on AikiWeb you might have some interesting ukemi stories of your own the next time you go to Kamakura!

Cheers,
Steve

P.S. It didn't happen quite that way...
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2005, 09:13 PM   #31
guest89893
Dojo: Jihonjuku/ St.Pete. FL
Location: Palm Harbor, Florida
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 87
United_States
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Quote:
Don J. Modesto wrote:
I got the smiley, but I see people doing this on tests, i.e., committing felony battery (if not murder--you are not allowed to turn a weapon on an assailant after disarming him/her of it. Cf. "You do what you train to do"), so it's actually not a joke. Sorry to be a stick in the mud.
Hey Don,
Ignatius and those living in less progressive states may not . But with the new law in Florida, if it's all done in one smooth move =guy attacks with knife you take knife away and stab him.You should still be in the parameters of the new law (gotta love Florida). You just shouldn't take the knife out of UKE and re-stab him two or three hundred times for bothering you and getting his blood on your clothes.
Don is right though, you could be spending a lot of court time and money trying to stay out of prison.
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2005, 10:42 PM   #32
Lan Powers
Dojo: Aikido of Midland, Midland TX
Location: Midland Tx
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 659
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Quote:
Don J. Modesto wrote:
I got the smiley, but I see people doing this on tests, i.e., committing felony battery (if not murder--you are not allowed to turn a weapon on an assailant after disarming him/her of it. Cf. "You do what you train to do"), so it's actually not a joke. Sorry to be a stick in the mud.

Mmm, more of a stick in the gut, I think
Lan

Play nice, practice hard, but remember, this is a MARTIAL art!
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2005, 11:58 PM   #33
eyrie
 
eyrie's Avatar
Location: Summerholm, Queensland
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,126
Australia
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Quote:
Stephen Trinkle wrote:
Hello Ignatius. Yikes! If Seino Sensei hears about this story on AikiWeb you might have some interesting ukemi stories of your own the next time you go to Kamakura!

Cheers,
Steve

P.S. It didn't happen quite that way...
Oh, pray do set the record straight then
This was what was told to me. I'm only playing Chinese whispers...isn't that how myths and urban legends start?

PS: Can I plead a bung knee and the fact that I am getting on in years???

Ignatius
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2005, 12:05 AM   #34
eyrie
 
eyrie's Avatar
Location: Summerholm, Queensland
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,126
Australia
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Quote:
Gene Martinelli wrote:
Hey Don,
Ignatius and those living in less progressive states may not . But with the new law in Florida, if it's all done in one smooth move =guy attacks with knife you take knife away and stab him.You should still be in the parameters of the new law (gotta love Florida). You just shouldn't take the knife out of UKE and re-stab him two or three hundred times for bothering you and getting his blood on your clothes.
Don is right though, you could be spending a lot of court time and money trying to stay out of prison.
Obviously he ran into the knife, trying to grapple me to the ground .... d'uh!?

Ignatius
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2005, 07:52 AM   #35
kocakb
Dojo: Burhan Felek Sport Center-Istanbul
Location: Istanbul
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 110
Turkey
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

I heard that a thief broke into a sensei's house once. Sensei heard the noise and saw the guy, having a knife. They had a fight and sensei took the knife, cut one ear of the thief and made him to call the police; "help, I broke someone house, come and take me"…just a story, dunno if it is true or not...

Last edited by kocakb : 07-18-2005 at 07:54 AM.
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2005, 11:54 AM   #36
ramenboy
Dojo: midwest aikido center
Location: chicago
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 328
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

[quote]Shihonage performed over and over and over causes baldness.

ha ha, jory! that's "blindness"...oh wait...that's not "shiho nage..."

jvc
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2005, 12:42 PM   #37
SteveTrinkle
Dojo: Aikido Kenkyukai International
Location: Ambler, Pennsylvania
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 232
United_States
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Hello Ignatius,
I'll send you a private e-mail soon with the real story... As far as the old age defense - well I tried that, but the dai senpai are all my age and older. By the way, I'll probably pick up the DVDs today or tomorrow and get them out to you soon.

Later,
Steve
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2005, 07:30 PM   #38
DustinAcuff
Dojo: Tan Aiki Dojo
Location: California
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 202
United_States
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

This one was a real side splitter when I heard it. Not quite Aikido but here goes

A few years back I was at a blade show in Chattanooga, TN. While there I visited someone's booth and heard him claiming his prowess as a historian of the samurai. The guy sounded pretty credible until: "You see, these katana's we have to day are just toothpicks compared to what the samurai really carried into battle with them. You see they used to carry a 6 foot 150 lbs battle sword with them slung over their backs...." Its a rough quote, but this guy started going on about the massive battle swords the samurai carried that could cleave a armored warrior in two from head to groin and how these weapons were quite famous within Japan because they were so effective......

I wish I were making this up...
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2005, 08:08 PM   #39
PeterR
 
PeterR's Avatar
Dojo: Shodokan Honbu (Osaka)
Location: Himeji, Japan
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 3,057
Japan
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Well yeah except there are some massive swords out there. Last Koryu Enbu demonstration at Himeji I had coffee with one of the Soke's of such a school. Height of a man but not sure they weighed 150 lbs.

Peter Rehse Shodokan Aikido
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2005, 09:50 PM   #40
DustinAcuff
Dojo: Tan Aiki Dojo
Location: California
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 202
United_States
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

It wasn't the legnth that was amusing, I've seen enough variation that the legnth could be possible (like the Claymore for example) but I have a hard time believing that ANY sword could come near even 100 lbs and still be called a sword....you just had to be there to hear this guy.
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2005, 10:04 PM   #41
PeterR
 
PeterR's Avatar
Dojo: Shodokan Honbu (Osaka)
Location: Himeji, Japan
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 3,057
Japan
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Quote:
Dustin Acuff wrote:
It wasn't the legnth that was amusing, I've seen enough variation that the legnth could be possible (like the Claymore for example) but I have a hard time believing that ANY sword could come near even 100 lbs and still be called a sword....you just had to be there to hear this guy.
I know the type and most of the time they actually believe themselves.

Peter Rehse Shodokan Aikido
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2005, 11:23 PM   #42
Lan Powers
Dojo: Aikido of Midland, Midland TX
Location: Midland Tx
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 659
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Straying a bit from the Aikido....

Branden Lee had a great story about the only "real" fight he had ever had as an adult.
Arrives at his house on his motorcycle, and notices the window is open. Parks under it, and climbs in instead of going to the door, meeting a guy with his VCR under his arm heading for the window when he heard the bike arrive.
Throws the VCR down and hauls ass....round the old house with connecting rooms.
Through the kitchen, into the bedroom, into the next room...etc. etc. old style houses often have connecting rooms instead of hallways.
On the third or fourth circuit through the kitchen, with Brandon right behind him, he grabs up a kitchen knife and wheels around on him......
Now, Brandon points out that each time they careen through the living room, they pass under a lifesize, full color,photo of Bruce training with Branden who is about 6 at the time.
(I have seen the pic before in a book, and it is way- cute, Bruce with his hands in position low-kicking towards this little kid who is checking the kick...the best I can remember)
He had a wry look on his face as he wondered about the guy not realizing the kid in the picture was him.
Brandon had a small scar he showed to the host, and declined to comment on the extent of the injuries the burgler went to the hospital with.
Just a cool bit on the same vein.
Lan

Play nice, practice hard, but remember, this is a MARTIAL art!
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2005, 01:50 PM   #43
Dirk Hanss
 
Dirk Hanss's Avatar
Dojo: Aikidoschule Trier
Location: Merzkirchen
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 471
Germany
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Well, recently someone told me that Bush-ido is the theory backing the war on terror. It was developped by the greatest philospher, the world has ever seen, also known as simply George W.

Dirk
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2005, 04:06 PM   #44
Avery Jenkins
 
Avery Jenkins's Avatar
Dojo: Litchfield Hills Aikikai
Location: Litchfield, CT
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 139
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Quote:
Dirk Hanss wrote:
Well, recently someone told me that Bush-ido is the theory backing the war on terror. It was developped by the greatest philospher, the world has ever seen, also known as simply George W.

Dirk
Actually, the U.S. war on terror is based on something much closer to bullshido than bushido.

Notably, it's had about as much success as has the US war on drugs.
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2005, 08:41 PM   #45
Rupert Atkinson
 
Rupert Atkinson's Avatar
Dojo: Wherever I am.
Location: South Korea, Yongin
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 789
United Kingdom
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

No myth: A girl in our univ. Aikido club in the UK was attacked in her flat by three men. She put them all in hospital and the police came to 'see her'. She did not get arrested.

  Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2005, 12:37 AM   #46
Sonja2012
 
Sonja2012's Avatar
Dojo: Aikido Verein Esslingen
Location: Stuttgart
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 192
Germany
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Wow, she really *did* kiss ass then ;-)
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2005, 12:55 AM   #47
dyffcult
Location: Visalia, California
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 105
United_States
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Once upon a time, three students of various martial arts were discussing the various merits of their respective arts. Of course, each claimed that their own was better than the others. Finally, the doka selected a contest to determine the best of the arts.

The student of karate stated that he would go first. He stood in the center of a busy roadway and waited for the approaching vehicle. With a mighty chop, he stopped the first oncoming passenger vehicle dead with a mighty chop.

The judoka was up next. He positioned himself in the road way. As the truck approached, he set himself, and then threw the truck with a mighty shrug.

The aikido student was concerned. The karate student had stopped a car. The judo student had thrown the truck. A bus full of passengers came barreling down the road.

The aikidoka concentrated, stepped off center and the bus passed by.........all the passengers safe.
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2005, 03:00 AM   #48
xuzen
 
xuzen's Avatar
Dojo: None at the moment - on hiatus
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 965
Malaysia
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Quote:
Brenda Allen wrote:
Once upon a time, three students of various martial arts were discussing the various merits of their respective arts. Of course, each claimed that their own was better than the others. Finally, the doka selected a contest to determine the best of the arts.

The student of karate stated that he would go first. He stood in the center of a busy roadway and waited for the approaching vehicle. With a mighty chop, he stopped the first oncoming passenger vehicle dead with a mighty chop.

The judoka was up next. He positioned himself in the road way. As the truck approached, he set himself, and then threw the truck with a mighty shrug.

The aikido student was concerned. The karate student had stopped a car. The judo student had thrown the truck. A bus full of passengers came barreling down the road.

The aikidoka concentrated, stepped off center and the bus passed by.........all the passengers safe.
The aikidoka line up patiently at the bus stop just like all other passengers, boarded the bus, gave the conductor a mighty aiki-smile, started some small talk with him, made friends with the driver, conductor and all on board... and they like him so much they decided not to charge a penny and invited him to come on board the bus anytime in future free of charge.

SHOMEN-ATE (TM), the solution to 90% of aikido and life's problems.
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2005, 11:37 AM   #49
darin
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 375
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Quote:
Eric Hutton wrote:
Two stories that I have been told:

1. An aikido student was driving a motorcycle when he was struck head-on by a car. His body was thrown over the car and he performed a ukemi on the pavement and thus escaped injury.

2. An aikido master had honed his senses and preception to such a level that he could not ride on the Tokyo subway during rush hour. The noise and press of the crowds overloaded his senses to the point that he could not function.
No. 2 is a pretty natural thing. Ever taken the last train on the Yamanote Line in summer?
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2005, 12:48 PM   #50
John Boswell
 
John Boswell's Avatar
Dojo: Aikido of Midland
Location: Midland, Texas
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 597
United_States
Offline
Re: Aikido Urban Legends, Stories, and Myths

Quote:
Cromwell Salvatera wrote:
The Bigger the hara, the stronger the Ki.

hmmmm more beers please.
Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!

Oy! Oy! Oy!

  Reply With Quote

Please visit our sponsor:

Handmade Aikido Gifts - Handmade functional ceramic art with aikido themes



Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Two things. Veers General 8 04-04-2003 01:54 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:19 PM.



vBulletin Copyright © 2000-2014 Jelsoft Enterprises Limited
----------
Copyright 1997-2014 AikiWeb and its Authors, All Rights Reserved.
----------
For questions and comments about this website:
Send E-mail
plainlaid-picaresque outchasing-protistan explicantia-altarage seaford-stellionate