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Old 08-15-2006, 09:10 PM   #1
Robert Jackson
Dojo: seishinkan
Location: Texas City.
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 133
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Talking Aiki Redneck

Something happened in class that made want to post this thread... Surely we can apply redneck jokes to aikido! here's two to begin with.

1. If you bokken is held together with duct tape... you might be an aiki redneck.

2. If you show up in class with in your gi and cowboy boots... you might be an aiki redneck.

Ok any others you can think of?

I put my right foot in, I put my left foot out, I do the Aikipokey and throw you all about
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Old 08-15-2006, 09:59 PM   #2
Robert Jackson
Dojo: seishinkan
Location: Texas City.
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 133
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Re: Aiki Redneck

Just to get going a bit more here's some more for ya...

3. If you've ever refered to your joe as the "anti-sum-bi@@@ stick"... you might be an aiki redneck
4. If you've ever said "my joe is bigger then yours"... you might be an aiki redneck
5. if you've ever pronouced kotegashie "koto goshe" OR Mune Tsuki "moon-a-suky"... you might be an aiki redneck
6. If you've ever practice solo in a mall\supermarket\office and caused people to give you funny looks... you might be an aiki redneck

Last edited by Robert Jackson : 08-15-2006 at 10:03 PM.

I put my right foot in, I put my left foot out, I do the Aikipokey and throw you all about
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Old 08-15-2006, 11:31 PM   #3
darin
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 375
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Re: Aiki Redneck

no. 6 reminds me of one of my brother's friends who would do tae kwon do stretches everytime he meets someone in a department store. The funny thing is he continues doing them after you have walked away... Still probably not as extreme as a friend's classmate who wore 4kg ankle weights (very bulky) everytime he goes out with his friends.
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Old 08-16-2006, 08:58 AM   #4
Lan Powers
Dojo: Aikido of Midland, Midland TX
Location: Midland Tx
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 659
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Re: Aiki Redneck

If you (like me) have spent more on the gear you train with, than the car you haul it to the dojo in...
you might be an aiki-redneck

Play nice, practice hard, but remember, this is a MARTIAL art!
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Old 08-16-2006, 09:01 AM   #5
Lan Powers
Dojo: Aikido of Midland, Midland TX
Location: Midland Tx
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Re: Aiki Redneck

If your private mental terminology for aikido terms includes "Fling-downs, and Crunchers"

Yew mite be uh reyed-nekk.
Welcome to Texas, Baybee!
Lan

Play nice, practice hard, but remember, this is a MARTIAL art!
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Old 08-16-2006, 10:13 AM   #6
Eric Webber
Dojo: Aikido West Reading
Location: Reading, Pa
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Re: Aiki Redneck

If getting dressed up means wearing the hakama WITHOUT the patches on the knees, you might be an aiki redneck
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Old 08-16-2006, 10:14 AM   #7
Eric Webber
Dojo: Aikido West Reading
Location: Reading, Pa
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Re: Aiki Redneck

If your solution to every problem is to say, "grab my wrist," you might be an aiki redneck.
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Old 08-16-2006, 11:28 AM   #8
Jerry Miller
 
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Re: Aiki Redneck

If going to a seminar is a chance to meet Woman.

If you have a tee shirt from every seminar you have ever been to. (raises hand)

Jerry Miller
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Old 08-16-2006, 12:38 PM   #9
BC
Location: Chicago, IL
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Re: Aiki Redneck

If that person says "look at me" while demonstrating a technique.

Robert Cronin
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Old 08-16-2006, 01:03 PM   #10
Ron Tisdale
Dojo: Doshinkan dojo in Roxborough, Pa
Location: Phila. Pa
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Re: Aiki Redneck

I loved that line from Chili Palmer...

Look at me...no...look at me...

B,
R

Ron Tisdale
-----------------------
"The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind."
St. Bonaventure (ca. 1221-1274)
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Old 08-16-2006, 03:02 PM   #11
Erick Mead
 
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Re: Aiki Redneck

If the last thing you remember from class was saying:
"Hey, y'all -- watch 'is!" ...

If your tsuba is what left of the duct tape roll after you wrap up the splinters on your bokken ...

Cordially,

Erick Mead
一隻狗可久里馬房但他也不是馬的.
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Old 08-16-2006, 03:32 PM   #12
Lan Powers
Dojo: Aikido of Midland, Midland TX
Location: Midland Tx
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Re: Aiki Redneck

Haaaa haaa *snort* sniffle....haaa ha !
Tsuba is the a$$hole of the tape roll..........owww my side..

Luv it

Play nice, practice hard, but remember, this is a MARTIAL art!
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Old 08-16-2006, 04:08 PM   #13
aikigirl10
Dojo: Aikido of Ashland
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Re: Aiki Redneck

Quote:
Robert Jackson wrote:
"my joe is bigger then yours"

If you spell "jo" J-O-E... you might be an aiki redneck

*Paige*
sorry i couldn't resist lol
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Old 08-16-2006, 04:18 PM   #14
Erick Mead
 
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Re: Aiki Redneck

If you are asked by a dojo mate where to find an obi -- and you give him the number of your wife's gynecologist ...

If, when Sensei says at the beginning of class, "Onegaishimasu!" --
you say, "God bless you!" ...

Cordially,

Erick Mead
一隻狗可久里馬房但他也不是馬的.
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Old 08-16-2006, 07:32 PM   #15
Robert Jackson
Dojo: seishinkan
Location: Texas City.
Join Date: Nov 2003
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Re: Aiki Redneck

Quote:
Paige Frazier wrote:
If you spell "jo" J-O-E... you might be an aiki redneck

*Paige*
sorry i couldn't resist lol

I was waiting for someone to comment on that

I put my right foot in, I put my left foot out, I do the Aikipokey and throw you all about
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Old 08-16-2006, 08:37 PM   #16
Jonathan Han
 
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Re: Aiki Redneck

If your dojo is held up with loose cinder blocks, you might be an Aiki Redneck.

If the dojo collapses and it kills more than three dogs, then you're definitely a Redneck.

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Old 08-17-2006, 02:16 AM   #17
happysod
Dojo: Kiburn, London, UK
Location: London
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Re: Aiki Redneck

Your picture of O sensei is a tasteful screen print done in genuine silver (style) on a black (synthetic) velvet canvas and your pure-breed pit bull/Yorkshire terrier guard dogs are named irimi and tenkan - you've really got problems
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Old 08-17-2006, 04:48 AM   #18
dps
Join Date: Apr 2006
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Re: Aiki Redneck

Quote:
Ian Hurst wrote:
and your pure-breed pit bull/Yorkshire terrier guard dogs are named irimi and tenkan - you've really got problems
or you name your daughter Irimi and your son Tenkan.
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Old 08-17-2006, 05:35 AM   #19
Mark Freeman
Dojo: Dartington
Location: Devon
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Re: Aiki Redneck

or you say to your wife/partner "grab my whatsit, I need a work out"

Success is having what you want. Happiness is wanting what you have.
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Old 08-17-2006, 07:23 AM   #20
MikeLogan
 
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Re: Aiki Redneck

If you think of yudansha after seeing a holstein cow, you might be an aiki-redneck.
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Old 08-17-2006, 01:59 PM   #21
Dajo251
Dojo: Aikido Downtown
Location: Rhode Island
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Re: Aiki Redneck

Quote:
Erick Mead wrote:
If you are asked by a dojo mate where to find an obi -- and you give him the number of your wife's gynecologist ...

.
ok that one made me laugh alot

Dan Hulley
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Old 08-22-2006, 03:40 AM   #22
Lee Mulgrew
Dojo: Dynamic Aikido Noquet Hartlepool England
Location: Hartlepool
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Re: Aiki Redneck

if after doing mae ukemi you tip your stetson and spit on the ground and dust off your knees then godammit boy you is a redneck!
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Old 08-22-2006, 03:42 AM   #23
Lee Mulgrew
Dojo: Dynamic Aikido Noquet Hartlepool England
Location: Hartlepool
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Re: Aiki Redneck

if you like choke techniques because it brings out the colour in your neck then, yup, you's a redneck!

or if during ukemi from koshinage you shout yeehaaaw!! then you is defernatly a redneck boy!

Last edited by Lee Mulgrew : 08-22-2006 at 03:47 AM.
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Old 08-22-2006, 06:36 AM   #24
Robert Jackson
Dojo: seishinkan
Location: Texas City.
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 133
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Re: Aiki Redneck

Quote:
Lee Mulgrew wrote:
if during ukemi from koshinage you shout yeehaaaw!! then you is defernatly a redneck boy!
lol I think I'm going to have to do this next time we do Koshi!

I put my right foot in, I put my left foot out, I do the Aikipokey and throw you all about
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Old 08-22-2006, 10:56 AM   #25
aikidoc
Dojo: Aikido of Midland
Location: Midland Texas
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Re: Aiki Redneck

If you practice high falls while galloping on a horse at full speed, you might be an aiki-redneck.

If you "have" to wear a hakama to hide your bowed legs you might be an aiki-redneck.

If your sensei constantly has to tell you stop walking like you have a cob up your a$$ you might be an aik-redneck.

I have actually heard someone use coat a gosh and moon a sooky and thought it was the correct way to pronounce it.
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