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Old 06-07-2005, 12:48 PM   #1
Joost Korpel
 
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Talking The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

This is a somewhat of a spinoff from the "Beginners with delusions of grandeur" thread at:

http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8269

I think I have the solution to aikido newbie confusion. Its simply caused by the fact they don't know the dojo rules. Ever see those long list of rules at your local pool? You know, the ones that state:

1. No diving allowed.
2. Please shower before you enter the pool.
3. Keep gate closed
4......

and they all end with:

10. Swim at your own risk.

I propose that each Aikido dojo post a dojo warning sign, displayed prominantly next to the Shomen. I'm enlisting the help of all the great folks at aikiweb to flesh out the list of top 100 dojo rules for this sign. .

I'll start us of.

1) Your class instructor is called sensei. He teaches aikido.
2) Shutup and train. If you are not sensei, stop trying to teach your partner, (see rule 1 above).
3) Do not snicker, chuckle or give any outward indication that you find humor in the yudansha tripping on their hakama.
4) Do not complain about your exhaustion from constantly crashing into the tatami. You paid the dojo good money for this experience so enjoy.
5) When dojo mates tell you, "You look dead", they arent refering to your state of exhaustion. Just re-tie your gi left over right.
6) .......

oh yeah, it must end in the proverbial

100) Train at your own risk.
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Old 06-07-2005, 01:17 PM   #2
Ulises Garcia
 
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

6) You are to feel awe at every technique your sensei teaches, and in case of doubts or questions, you must humbly address the Yudansha (do not look directly at their eyes, for you are not worthy), in case your lower intellect doesn't allow you to understand the techniques the first time you see them...

"He who dies with the most toys...still dies."
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Old 06-07-2005, 03:33 PM   #3
John Boswell
 
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

7) Never ask your instructor,"What is kokyunage?" You have been warned.

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Old 06-12-2005, 05:25 PM   #4
SupremeWarlord
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

8. no food allowed in dojo. When you are thrown halfway across the room and land in a 3-piece meal from Captain D's you will understand.
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Old 06-12-2005, 05:55 PM   #5
Jeanne Shepard
 
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

Do not whine, "but I didn't want to work this hard!", or do so at your own risk.

Jeanne
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Old 06-12-2005, 07:33 PM   #6
Janet Rosen
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

When the instructor says "what should we work on today?" never ever say "nikkyo" or your dojomates will despise you forever.....

Janet Rosen
http://www.zanshinart.com
"peace will enter when hate is gone"--percy mayfield
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Old 06-12-2005, 11:24 PM   #7
DustinAcuff
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

WARNING: If you are in your first month of training ASK NO QUESTIONS!!! Any violation of this rule results in you being uke for the rest of class.

Never ever ever hurt Sensei's favorite uke or you must be his replacement!
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Old 06-12-2005, 11:39 PM   #8
xuzen
 
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

And rule # 10 (a) states:
Quote:
Never say sorry, even when your hit connects with uke and he is bleeding. He brought it onto himself... he should have MOVE. It is his fault.
I am serious, people. That is what my sensei said.

Boon.

SHOMEN-ATE (TM), the solution to 90% of aikido and life's problems.
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Old 06-12-2005, 11:49 PM   #9
Jerry Miller
 
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

Quote:
Janet Rosen wrote:
When the instructor says "what should we work on today?" never ever say "nikkyo" or your dojomates will despise you forever.....
Yeah right, just say Yonkyo. It will be fine.

Jerry Miller
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Old 06-13-2005, 06:54 AM   #10
Jim Simons
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

If sensei demonstrates a technique you've been shown before, be helpful and point out "we've already done that one" as loudly as possible.
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Old 06-13-2005, 08:42 AM   #11
Paul Kerr
 
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

Quote:
Joost Korpel wrote:
1. No diving allowed.
That'll do

Paul Kerr
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Old 07-09-2005, 02:10 PM   #12
emma.mason15
Dojo: Shima Arashi Dojo
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

always make sure complaints of hangover / exhustion / previous late night / sunburn are overheard by sensei

(seriously ... I attended a AM session after finishing work at 0800 after nursing all night .... sensei was VERY understanding! lol)
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:04 AM   #13
Tim Gerrard
 
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

"That technique doesn't look very effective" is always a good one.

Aikido doesn't work? My Aikido works, what on earth are you practicing?!
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Old 07-14-2005, 08:39 AM   #14
Dirk Hanss
 
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

Quote:
John Boswell wrote:
7) Never ask your instructor,"What is kokyunage?" You have been warned.
And I thought kokyu nage is the easiest to explain. All aikido nage techniques that do not have another name are called kokyu nage.

O sh###, I forgot: Sometimes it looks like an ikkyo or yonkyo and it is called a kokyu nage nevertheless.

Sorry, I agree: never ask anything about kokyu nage!!!

Dirk
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Old 07-14-2005, 08:57 AM   #15
Yann Golanski
 
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

kokyu nage: breath power throw, especially effective after a meal rich in onion and garlic.

What!?....

The people who understand, understand prefectly.
yann@york-aikido.org York Shodokan Aikido
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Old 07-14-2005, 10:14 AM   #16
happysod
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

correction
Quote:
especially effective after a meal rich in Ki
#12: things you read in a book sometime in a time far far away are NOT relevant to what I'm showing you
#12a: look, I'm serious, shut up
#12b: if you don't shut up about that book we're doing ki all night
#12c: ok class, little Timmy's persuaded me two hours of basic ki tests is a good idea, please express you appreciation
#13: second ki-test is not an atemi, but nice one... Timmy are you alright?
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Old 07-14-2005, 12:14 PM   #17
indomaresa
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

#14. Only be a naughty uke when sensei isn't looking at you.
#15. When an uke is naughty, call sensei and say that you don't understand how nikkyo/sankyo/hiji-jime works ( move behind naughty uke while saying it ). Rinse and repeat until uke repents.
#16. Take acting class.. it helps when you're the favorite uke.
#17. ( Other MAs beware! ) Don't even try challenging, we train with swords, knifes and polearms. You can't win.

The road is long...
The path is steep...
So hire a guide to show you the shortcuts
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Old 07-14-2005, 12:35 PM   #18
Kerry Monument
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

#18 Never ask " Where do the atemi's go in this technique"
#19 Never ask " Can you show me how to do an overhead" before you can do a standard breakfall.
#20 At a seminar always ask for the technique demonstrated by the visiting Sensei, to be shown again on your favorite Yondan no matter how painful.
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Old 07-14-2005, 04:24 PM   #19
Pauliina Lievonen
 
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

#21 Never, ever, stick your hand up when sensei asks "who here has strong wrists?"



kvaak
Pauliina
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Old 07-15-2005, 08:40 AM   #20
beanchild
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

#22 Breathe!
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Old 07-15-2005, 07:44 PM   #21
Joezer M.
 
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

#23 (Please) never ask "But what if I'm facing someone really big... Like... uh... that guy over there..."

I AM in shape... Round is a shape...
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Old 07-16-2005, 11:50 PM   #22
DustinAcuff
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

#24 Never ask sensei about pressure points, especially the ones he shows that don't look effective.
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Old 07-31-2005, 01:21 PM   #23
theflyingheadbuttsuplex
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Thumbs down Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

Quote:
Maresa Sumardi wrote:
#14. Only be a naughty uke when sensei isn't looking at you.
#15. When an uke is naughty, call sensei and say that you don't understand how nikkyo/sankyo/hiji-jime works ( move behind naughty uke while saying it ). Rinse and repeat until uke repents.
#16. Take acting class.. it helps when you're the favorite uke.
#17. ( Other MAs beware! ) Don't even try challenging, we train with swords, knifes and polearms. You can't win.
I like no. 15

If there is no wind, row!
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Old 08-27-2005, 07:48 AM   #24
emma.mason15
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

if ever Uke for sensei .... resist ... he will thank you for the work out ...

Dance your cares away .... worry for another day ... let the music play .... down in fraggle rock!

when bored ... do as I do. Poke a patient!
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Old 09-18-2005, 09:52 AM   #25
merlynn
 
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Re: The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

if sensei asks you to do a technique on them do it quickly, if you are not quick enough they will do it to u

some things are so dear and so precious you have to let them go
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