The solution to Aiki Newbie Confusion...

This is a somewhat of a spinoff from the "Beginners with delusions of grandeur" thread at:

http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8269

I think I have the solution to aikido newbie confusion. Its simply caused by the fact they don't know the dojo rules. Ever see those long list of rules at your local pool? You know, the ones that state:

1. No diving allowed.
2. Please shower before you enter the pool.
3. Keep gate closed
4......

and they all end with:

10. Swim at your own risk.

I propose that each Aikido dojo post a dojo warning sign, displayed prominantly next to the Shomen. I'm enlisting the help of all the great folks at aikiweb to flesh out the list of top 100 dojo rules for this sign. .

I'll start us of.

1) Your class instructor is called sensei. He teaches aikido.
2) Shutup and train. If you are not sensei, stop trying to teach your partner, (see rule 1 above).
3) Do not snicker, chuckle or give any outward indication that you find humor in the yudansha tripping on their hakama.
4) Do not complain about your exhaustion from constantly crashing into the tatami. You paid the dojo good money for this experience so enjoy.
5) When dojo mates tell you, "You look dead", they arent refering to your state of exhaustion. Just re-tie your gi left over right.
6) .......

oh yeah, it must end in the proverbial

100) Train at your own risk.

6) You are to feel awe at every technique your sensei teaches, and in case of doubts or questions, you must humbly address the Yudansha (do not look directly at their eyes, for you are not worthy), in case your lower intellect doesn't allow you to understand the techniques the first time you see them...

7) Never ask your instructor,"What is kokyunage?" You have been warned.

8. no food allowed in dojo. When you are thrown halfway across the room and land in a 3-piece meal from Captain D's you will understand.

Do not whine, "but I didn't want to work this hard!", or do so at your own risk.

Jeanne

When the instructor says "what should we work on today?" never ever say "nikkyo" or your dojomates will despise you forever.....

WARNING: If you are in your first month of training ASK NO QUESTIONS!!! Any violation of this rule results in you being uke for the rest of class.

Never ever ever hurt Sensei's favorite uke or you must be his replacement!

And rule # 10 (a) states:

Never say sorry, even when your hit connects with uke and he is bleeding. He brought it onto himself... he should have MOVE. It is his fault.

I am serious, people. That is what my sensei said.

Boon.

Janet Rosen wrote: When the instructor says "what should we work on today?" never ever say "nikkyo" or your dojomates will despise you forever.....

Yeah right, just say Yonkyo. It will be fine.

If sensei demonstrates a technique you've been shown before, be helpful and point out "we've already done that one" as loudly as possible.

Joost Korpel wrote: 1. No diving allowed.

That'll do

always make sure complaints of hangover / exhustion / previous late night / sunburn are overheard by sensei

(seriously ... I attended a AM session after finishing work at 0800 after nursing all night .... sensei was VERY understanding! lol)

"That technique doesn't look very effective" is always a good one.

John Boswell wrote: 7) Never ask your instructor,"What is kokyunage?" You have been warned.

And I thought kokyu nage is the easiest to explain. All aikido nage techniques that do not have another name are called kokyu nage.

O sh###, I forgot: Sometimes it looks like an ikkyo or yonkyo and it is called a kokyu nage nevertheless.

Sorry, I agree: never ask anything about kokyu nage!!!

Dirk

kokyu nage: breath power throw, especially effective after a meal rich in onion and garlic.

What!?....

correction

especially effective after a meal rich in Ki

#12: things you read in a book sometime in a time far far away are NOT relevant to what I'm showing you
#12a: look, I'm serious, shut up
#12b: if you don't shut up about that book we're doing ki all night
#12c: ok class, little Timmy's persuaded me two hours of basic ki tests is a good idea, please express you appreciation
#13: second ki-test is not an atemi, but nice one... Timmy are you alright?

#14. Only be a naughty uke when sensei isn't looking at you.
#15. When an uke is naughty, call sensei and say that you don't understand how nikkyo/sankyo/hiji-jime works ( move behind naughty uke while saying it ). Rinse and repeat until uke repents.
#16. Take acting class.. it helps when you're the favorite uke.
#17. ( Other MAs beware! ) Don't even try challenging, we train with swords, knifes and polearms. You can't win.

#18 Never ask " Where do the atemi's go in this technique"
#19 Never ask " Can you show me how to do an overhead" before you can do a standard breakfall.
#20 At a seminar always ask for the technique demonstrated by the visiting Sensei, to be shown again on your favorite Yondan no matter how painful.

#21 Never, ever, stick your hand up when sensei asks "who here has strong wrists?"



kvaak
Pauliina

#22 Breathe!

#23 (Please) never ask "But what if I'm facing someone really big... Like... uh... that guy over there..."

#24 Never ask sensei about pressure points, especially the ones he shows that don't look effective.

Maresa Sumardi wrote: #14. Only be a naughty uke when sensei isn't looking at you. #15. When an uke is naughty, call sensei and say that you don't understand how nikkyo/sankyo/hiji-jime works ( move behind naughty uke while saying it ). Rinse and repeat until uke repents. #16. Take acting class.. it helps when you're the favorite uke. #17. ( Other MAs beware! ) Don't even try challenging, we train with swords, knifes and polearms. You can't win.

I like no. 15

if ever Uke for sensei .... resist ... he will thank you for the work out ...

if sensei asks you to do a technique on them do it quickly, if you are not quick enough they will do it to u