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Old 08-29-2003, 10:36 AM   #1
jxa127
Dojo: Itten Dojo -- Mechanicsburg, PA
Location: Harrisburg, PA
Join Date: Jul 2000
Posts: 420
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Lightbulb Aikido Light Bulb Jokes...

I posted this over at Aikido Journal's board, but thought it might be appreciated here too:

Q: How many aikido shodan does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Just one, he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

-------------

Q: How many aikidoka with 3rd kyu rank does it take to change a light bulb?

A: How do you take the ukemi for that?

-------------

Q: How many west coast aikidoka does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: They screw in hot tubs, not light bulbs.

-------------

Q: How many east coast aikidoka does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: That's not really one of our kihon waza...

-------------

Q: How many Aikiweb bulletin board members does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty-eight.

Six to argue the various merits of different styles of aikido light bulb changing.

Six to weigh in with stories of what it was like to change light bulbs in their dojos in the '70s under various direct students of O'Sensei.

Three to quote O'Sensei on the nature of light bulb changing.

Four more to argue over those quotes.

One to post a video clip (stolen from an Aiki News tape) of O'Sensei changing a light bulb.

One newbie to ask about the effectiveness of light bulb changing technique outside the dojo.

One to ask why there are no light bulb changing competitions.

Five to try to be clever by making jokes about being "enlightened."

One to ask how to take the ukemi for that.

Last edited by jxa127 : 08-29-2003 at 10:38 AM.

----
-Drew Ames
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Old 08-29-2003, 11:47 AM   #2
Sharon Seymour
Dojo: AikidoKIDS! & Katsujinken Dojo, Prescott Arizona
Location: Arizona
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 57
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Thanks, Drew! I was having a day, and this was a great boost.

sharon

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There is more to balance than not falling over.
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Old 08-29-2003, 12:53 PM   #3
Thalib
 
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Dojo: 合気研究会
Location: Jakarta Selatan
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You forgot one...

It takes 21 Aikido practitioners to change a light bulb.

One to change the light bulb, and 20 other to say, "That was good, but my sensei does it a bit differently."

When I have to die by the sword, I will do so with honor.
--------
http://funkybuddha.multiply.com/
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Old 08-29-2003, 12:59 PM   #4
Lyle Bogin
Dojo: Shin Budo Kai
Location: Manhattan
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 588
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The EXACT same jokes are always told about tai chi. See, Chinese and Japanese martial arts ARE the same !

"The martial arts progress from the complex to the simple."
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Old 08-29-2003, 02:20 PM   #5
shihonage
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 890
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Q: How many "Aikido light bulb jokes" does it take to drive one mad ?

A: NO one knows !!!(*&$ AHAHAHAHAH LOOK A PINK ELEPHANT !!! I KILL YOU ALL !!!!!I#$*&
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Old 06-11-2004, 08:48 AM   #6
Simon Ford-Powell
Dojo: Leicester Aikidokan UK
Location: Leicester UK
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Re: Aikido Light Bulb Jokes...

Q. How many Aikidoka does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Three - one to change the lightbulb and two ukes to make him look really good at it!!
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Old 06-11-2004, 11:38 AM   #7
Karen Wolek
Dojo: Kingston Aikido
Location: New York
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 322
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Re: Aikido Light Bulb Jokes...

Quote:
Drew Ames wrote:
Q: How many aikidoka with 3rd kyu rank does it take to change a light bulb?

A: How do you take the ukemi for that?
Hey! I resemble that!

And I'm only a 4th kyu, for at least another month or two. I must be precocious.

Karen
"Try not. Do...or do not. There is no try." - Master Yoda
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Old 06-11-2004, 11:48 AM   #8
TexV2
Dojo: Aikido Of Petaluma
Location: Nor-Cal
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 18
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Re: Aikido Light Bulb Jokes...

Q: How many Aikiweb bulletin board members does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty-eight.

Six to argue the various merits of different styles of aikido light bulb changing.

Six to weigh in with stories of what it was like to change light bulbs in their dojos in the '70s under various direct students of O'Sensei.

Three to quote O'Sensei on the nature of light bulb changing.

Four more to argue over those quotes.

One to post a video clip (stolen from an Aiki News tape) of O'Sensei changing a light bulb.

One newbie to ask about the effectiveness of light bulb changing technique outside the dojo.

One to ask why there are no light bulb changing competitions.

Five to try to be clever by making jokes about being "enlightened."

One to ask how to take the ukemi for that.[/quote]


That just made my whole day!!!

A flute with no holes is not a flute. A doughnut with no holes is a danish.
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Old 06-11-2004, 12:50 PM   #9
jxa127
Dojo: Itten Dojo -- Mechanicsburg, PA
Location: Harrisburg, PA
Join Date: Jul 2000
Posts: 420
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Re: Aikido Light Bulb Jokes...

*grin*

Glad you enjoyed them.

----
-Drew Ames
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Old 06-14-2004, 12:02 PM   #10
taras
Location: West Yorks and Merseyside, UK
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 170
United Kingdom
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Re: Aikido Light Bulb Jokes...

I can't remember where I saw this but:

One Aikidoka can screw in many light bulbs at once as long as it is a big circular motion.
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Old 06-14-2004, 01:52 PM   #11
aikitim23
Dojo: Kyushinkan dojo
Location: Alpharetta Georgia
Join Date: Jun 2004
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Re: Aikido Light Bulb Jokes...

Q: "How many Aikidoka does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

A: "Oh come on folks. I thought the answer would be obvious -- two!


practicing alone, presumably with a jo or bokken, was probably how that lightbulb was put out in the first place. All other Aikido practice takes two... Unless the bulb is supposed to be uke, or maybe nage... Or why replace it at all? Just hold the bulb in the fist and use ki-energy to light it! Or do you even need a bulb for that?
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Old 06-14-2004, 03:04 PM   #12
shihonage
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 890
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Re: Aikido Light Bulb Jokes...

Q: How many Aikidokas does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: It takes one person, and their affiliation with Aikido or lack thereof is completely irrelevant to the question.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is called an anti-joke.
Thank you, I'll be here till Thursday, try the veal.
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Old 06-14-2004, 03:20 PM   #13
John Boswell
 
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Dojo: Aikido of Midland
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Re: Aikido Light Bulb Jokes...

Q: How many Aleksey Sundeyev's does it take to tell a joke?

A: Zero..


Sorry, Aleksey... I couldn't resist.

Last edited by John Boswell : 06-14-2004 at 03:23 PM.

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Old 06-14-2004, 03:40 PM   #14
Bronson
 
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Dojo: Seiwa Dojo and Southside Dojo
Location: Battle Creek & Kalamazoo, MI
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 1,677
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Re: Aikido Light Bulb Jokes...

[quote=Tim Barford]Q: "How many Aikidoka does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

A: "Oh come on folks. I thought the answer would be obvious -- two![quote]

The hard part is getting them in there

Bronson

"A pacifist is not really a pacifist if he is unable to make a choice between violence and non-violence. A true pacifist is able to kill or maim in the blink of an eye, but at the moment of impending destruction of the enemy he chooses non-violence."
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Old 06-14-2004, 04:47 PM   #15
ChristianBoddum
 
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Dojo: Aarhus AiKiKai
Location: Aarhus,Denmark
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Re: Aikido Light Bulb Jokes...

Q: How many Senseis does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: One , trying to convince the bulb that change comes from within !
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Old 07-27-2004, 11:22 PM   #16
CNYMike
Dojo: Finger Lakes Aikido
Location: Cortland, NY
Join Date: Jul 2004
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Talking Re: Aikido Light Bulb Jokes...

Quote:
Drew Ames wrote:
Q: How many Aikiweb bulletin board members does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty-eight.

Six to argue the various merits of different styles of aikido light bulb changing.

Six to weigh in with stories of what it was like to change light bulbs in their dojos in the '70s under various direct students of O'Sensei.

Three to quote O'Sensei on the nature of light bulb changing.

Four more to argue over those quotes.

One to post a video clip (stolen from an Aiki News tape) of O'Sensei changing a light bulb.

One newbie to ask about the effectiveness of light bulb changing technique outside the dojo.

One to ask why there are no light bulb changing competitions.

Five to try to be clever by making jokes about being "enlightened."

One to ask how to take the ukemi for that.
LOL! But then it hit me .... who changes the light bulb!?
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Old 07-22-2006, 11:46 PM   #17
CNYMike
Dojo: Finger Lakes Aikido
Location: Cortland, NY
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 976
United_States
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Re: Aikido Light Bulb Jokes...

Bumped for the entertainment of my fellow Aikiweb members, and because I have no life.

But who changed the light bulb?
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