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Old 03-01-2004, 07:45 PM   #1
Erik
Location: Bay Area
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,200
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The Complete Guide to Self-Defense Guides

http://www.thewavemag.com/pagegen.ph...rticleid=24696
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Old 03-01-2004, 08:08 PM   #2
jk
Location: Indonesia
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 245
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Hey wait...I own, or used to own, two of those books...
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Old 03-01-2004, 10:08 PM   #3
Paul Sanderson-Cimino
Dojo: Yoshokai; looking into judo
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Sheer genius!
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Old 03-02-2004, 02:42 AM   #4
shihonage
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 890
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The greatest part:
Quote:
When Can You Apply It?

Bruce's techniques seem useful no matter where or how you're attacked, but I especially liked Chapter 3: DEFENSES AGAINST ANNOYING ATTACK. It's a series of painful holds and attacks you can use against your friends if they annoy you. Like if someone slaps you on the back to say hello, Bruce shows you how to break his arm. He's even smart enough to suggest that you pretend you didn't mean to, in case you want to remain friends with the person who used to be attached to the arm you're holding.

Defense Example:

If one of your pals is leaning on you, Bruce suggests, "Next time he leans, dig into the side of his body just below the last rib, using the extended knuckle in a grinding motion. Grin as you grind -- you are not trying to start a fight." I assume that if my friend was to try for a full hug, I should jam a switchblade between his third and fourth ribs. This would puncture his lung and prevent him from screaming. Then I'd gently caress his hair as he bleeds out -- I don't want him to think I'm angry with him. Thanks, Bruce!
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Old 03-02-2004, 10:16 AM   #5
fjcsuper
 
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Location: Singapore
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 31
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Yeah... The Wave Magazine sure has bragging rights for "The Bay Area's Best Entertainment Mag...Ever". Very entertaining.

It is inevitable.
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Old 03-02-2004, 12:30 PM   #6
Brian Vickery
Dojo: Aiki-Buken Aikido
Location: Gilbert, Arizona
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...well, I don't know about the rest of the guys being quoted in this article, but Marc MacYoung is somebody you might want to listen to, despite the ridiculous intro he received. I've learned alot from the man!

...but, that's just my 2 cents worth!

Brian Vickery

"The highest level of technique to achieve is that of having NO technique!"
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Old 03-02-2004, 02:04 PM   #7
Paul Sanderson-Cimino
Dojo: Yoshokai; looking into judo
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I also reccomend www.seanbaby.com. His nintendo articles are priceless to a geek like me.

Get equipped with Bubble Lead!
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Old 03-02-2004, 07:43 PM   #8
Noel
Location: Rochester, NY
Join Date: Nov 2003
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Does the boxed gift set of these volumes come with a black belt?
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Old 03-04-2004, 02:48 PM   #9
Tom Wolowiec
Dojo: none yet
Location: Auburn, WA
Join Date: Feb 2004
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It's scary that people wrote those books... it's even scarier that some people might actually read them...

"Those who are skilled in combat do not become angered,
those who are skilled at winning do not become afraid.
Thus the wise win before the fight, while the ignorant fight to win."
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Old 03-04-2004, 03:54 PM   #10
stuartjvnorton
 
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Quote:
Paul Sanderson-Cimino wrote:
I also reccomend www.seanbaby.com. His nintendo articles are priceless to a geek like me.

Get equipped with Bubble Lead!
That web site's a hoot. :-D
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Old 03-05-2004, 09:52 AM   #11
j0nharris
Dojo: Kododan Aikido USA
Location: Radford Virginia
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 198
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Freaky!

A few years ago, I found in the library an old 1940's era copy of a the U.S. Marines self-defense manual.

Guess what every situation either started or ended with?

That's right, a punch or kick to the groin.

Want to start a $5.00 pool, and the first one to try that atemi on Sensei wins the pot?



-jon

jon harris

Life is a journey...
Now, who took my @#$%! map?!
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Old 03-26-2004, 02:23 PM   #12
David Edwards
 
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Quote:
Jon Harris (j0nharris) wrote:
Want to start a $5.00 pool, and the first one to try that atemi on Sensei wins the pot?
*eyes widen in horror at the thought of the things that might happen if he tried that*

Think I'd feel kinda and look kinda Or maybe he'd be really gentle and compassionate with me, in the true spirit of Aikido... Ahem.
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Old 03-26-2004, 03:51 PM   #13
Paul Sanderson-Cimino
Dojo: Yoshokai; looking into judo
Join Date: Mar 2003
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Klumsyboy

Reminds me of this one guy's page I found...let me locate it...

http://www.geocities.com/paris/4114/m2k.html

"Klumsyboy's Martial Arts Page"

It's a riot. Really. It features such gems as:

Groin Opportunities and You
Quote:
A taller/bigger person uses more energy to get up off the ground and their falls are harder - picture an arcade game, they have a limited amount of recuperation energy in the energy bar. If you are good with pressure points,wresting/throws and wristlocks, then move in, otherwise keep your distance and look for groin opportunities.
(emphasis mine)
"Excuse me, sensei, but I have a question. Does this technique allow for groin opportunities?"


Women in Martial Arts
Quote:
Ok I dont mean to be sexist but...there is no way a woman can defeat a man who has had equal martial arts training in combat. So if your gf or wife beats you up, I suggest you go do a martial art and put her in her place (kitchen). Women are weaker and slower than man (cos god created them this way)...
I know a few female aikidoka this guy should be locked in a room with for half an hour.


When to Question Your Budo Study's Depth
Quote:
I just remembered, there was this guy I knew back in Hong Kong who did TKD, we used to go to hotels practicing our spinning back kicks/sliding side kicks on the doors (busting the locks open) and run to the stairwell bursting with laughter Those were the days. If you cant kick down a door and you do tkd, questions need to be asked.
Do I even need to say anything?


Finding a Training Partner
Quote:
Its better to fight people on the street who have nothing to lose/no money (scum of the earth)ie they wont sue you if you break anything. Some of these people can be viscious so you will find out whether you are quick enuff/your moves are effective/efficient.
Yeah, it's probably hard to find willing types in dojos after you've knocked a few peoples' testicles a foot into their stomach.


AND MORE!



It's hysterical. Also, he seems to have a bodybuilder fetish. That just enhances his credibility.


Can we hire this guy for a seminar?

Last edited by Paul Sanderson-Cimino : 03-26-2004 at 03:57 PM.
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Old 03-26-2004, 04:52 PM   #14
BLangille
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 33
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Groin Opportunities

Quote:
"Excuse me, sensei, but I have a question. Does this technique allow for groin opportunities?"
LOL

Every time I envision saying that to sensei I crack up.
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