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Old 02-14-2004, 04:29 PM   #26
Jeanine Perron
Location: Texas
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 16
Thank you for all the insights.

I talked to the Uke and he responded that he never knew he was hurting me. I guess lying on the floor with my hands over my nose, or holding my arm, breast, etc, in pain is not enough. He said that I need to slap him up side the face to let him know next time. HMM....

Yes, he is a challenge and that should not be overlooked. I should see the situation in a positive light. I will try harder to embrace that fact, but sometimes the pain overlooks that. I do no think of my self as a whimp. I had heart surgery, and was back in three weeks. I use to be on the rough side as well, due to my other Aikido training. His background in MA, like mine, sometimes gets in the way of performing Aikido. But I guess, on the streets, one has to be ready for any attack and attacker.

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Old 02-14-2004, 07:12 PM   #27
Chris Li
Chris Li's Avatar
Dojo: Aikido Sangenkai
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 3,299
Craig Hocker (kironin) wrote:
Just maybe because any wisdom he had was more hype than reality ?

some essays by Ellis come to mind.

I don't think that Ellis ever said that his wisdom was more hype than reality. I think that what Ellis was saying was that peoples's usual conception of that wisdom was (and is often) different from the reality. In other words, what people think of as "an Aikido-like temperment" might well be different than what Morihei Ueshiba thought or permitted.



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Old 02-15-2004, 08:23 AM   #28
Dojo: Aiki Kenkyukai
Location: Indonesia
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 176
refuse to train with him

sincerely say that you are worried about his arthritis and joints.

IF he said he could take it... you know what to do.... hehehheee

The road is long...
The path is steep...
So hire a guide to show you the shortcuts
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Old 02-15-2004, 08:50 PM   #29
Dojo: Seigi Dojo
Location: Jakarta
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 247

in aikido training both parties should learn from each other. If you can't learn from your partner although you already try, leave him.
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Old 02-17-2004, 02:13 PM   #30
Ron Tisdale
Dojo: Doshinkan dojo in Roxborough, Pa
Location: Phila. Pa
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,614
I talked to the Uke and he responded that he never knew he was hurting me.
Good for you! Direct is usually best...and sometimes what we think is obvious isn't. I think you might have just gotten one of the best training partners ever. Just don't let him get away with that whining bit...

Best of Luck,


It occurs to me that my best friend and I used to hurt each other a lot when training. Somehow our aikido just didn't mesh...too competitive or something, I don't know. It looked like two bulls trying to occupy the same china shop. Several years down the road, and now he and I can train basically injury free...I'm sure part of the solution is that I'm no longer trying to be better than he is (I'm not). Not sure this helps any...

Last edited by Ron Tisdale : 02-17-2004 at 02:16 PM.
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Old 02-18-2004, 06:55 AM   #31
Jeanine Perron
Location: Texas
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 16
Hello Ron,

My thoughts are that this Uke must think that he needs to use muscle to overcome practice and knowledge. I have seen him "clothes line" a Shodan that is 6'5" and 250 pounds in Randori with a hand chop.

I have talked and sent emails to this Uke several times. His sensitivity to the outside needs some "tweaking". Isn't this part of what a good Aikidoist needs to be!

And your right, learning to work with some people takes time.

Thank you for your input,

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Old 02-19-2004, 06:15 AM   #32
Mark Jakabcsin
Dojo: Charlotte Systema, Charlotte, NC
Location: Carolina
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 207
"I have talked and sent emails to this Uke several times. His sensitivity to the outside needs some "tweaking". Isn't this part of what a good Aikidoist needs to be!"

All this focus on someone else. What they need to do. What they need to change. What they do wrong. What they need to accomplish to become a good aikidoist. Seems to me all this focus and energy would be better spent looking in instead of out.


Take care,

Mark J.
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Old 02-19-2004, 02:31 PM   #33
Kevin Masters
Dojo: Woodstock Aikido
Location: Mount Tremper, NY
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 85
Bill Ross (Williamross77) wrote:
oh yeah, 1 .5 years and still a Gokyu?
What's wrong with that? My dojo holds tests 2 times a year.

I'm glad you had it out with the guy, Jeanine. I hope the rest of your training is more enjoyable.


An 18 month old gokyu.

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Old 02-20-2004, 12:59 PM   #34
Jeanine Perron
Location: Texas
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 16
Thank you Kevin,

In my old dojo, we held belt testing once a year. In my new school, it is twice a year. It is interesting to know how many hours others need to study before testing and moving on to the next belt.

I am still working with this Uke and the instructor now nows about the situation. In the past, I have let my guard done, but now I must remember to defend myself at all times. Good lesson to learn.

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Old 02-20-2004, 01:26 PM   #35
Dojo: Shobu Aikido Cape Cod
Location: Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 152
After reading the original post, I thought back to a fellow aikidoka that was once in our class. Same issue. Big, strong, aggresive and also a student of another martial art.

After getting hit by him...let me tell you the evening stars on a clear night have never been that bright....I stood there hands behind my back and just looked at him. No word spoken. total eye contact. After a short period of time, Sensei came by asking why we were not practicing. I asked Sensei what I did incorrectly in my technique that allowed Uke to punch me full force in the face?

Sensei said, "you failed to partner with an Uke that has learned self control." He went on to stop class and apologize to the entire class for being such a bad Sensei. He said, If I had taught you all that aikido class is a place of learning and partnership and friendship, then one would not feel they had to strike, full force, their partner.

He then ended class......

Weeks later, the big strong aggressive guy who bruised his knuckles by smacking me in the face showed up again in class.

Humble...and the perfect partner...
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