Just thought I'd update everyone; a couple of weeks ago I tested for my 4th kyu at the Kingston Summer Camp; taught by Andrew Tsubaki Sensei. Superb instructor!
Anyhoo: I passed, but to be honest; I really don't think I should've; I did my 4th kyu techniques OK - at least I only got picked up on small things - but the 5th kyu stuff - the stuff I should've had nailed down by now - totally bit!
Lol - it was absolutely horrible; my mind went completely blank. Not that I forgot the techniques; but they looked totally stilted; incorrect and loaded with errors - not my best by a longshot. I knew I didn't do a very good job; but I've just seen the video - oh, boy.
After the test; everyone came up to congratulate me - of course - but I personally feel I didn't deserve it - I've always felt that if you don't know the material; you shouldn't pass, so by my own perhaps overcritical viewpoint; this belt doesn't have the mental glitter if you will as the last (which was
a good test) did.
But hey; as far as I'm concerned; that's what tests are for - to point out what you need to work on. Aside from the embarrassment that comes from seeing yourself doing something awful; (Which feeling is fleeting), I know what I need to do to improve and how to do it.
What I'm doing is going right back to the beginning; starting right back at the 5th kyu level; learning what I obviously need to learn yet. Far from being a step back; IMO it'll be a good way to step forward; firming up the foundation before I keep trying to build the house.