What I have learned from this question, has been fantastic in lots of ways. A friend of mine explained it to me like this.
"but when I hear so many people decrying the current state of martial arts... I have trouble seeing that any of us should be so complacent in what we do to think that we can stand on a pedestal and judge another's practice. I don't think the study of the martial arts have ever been for a single goal, but always there have been as many paths as people walking the paths. And that very diversity enriches our community.
I think those who have made the study an end in itself have always been a minority. That there are many others for whom it is only a means is to be expected. That the latter exist does not diminish the former."
Some of us walk different paths, some of us work on different levels. So long as you are coming to the dojo, and giving fairly decient attacks, maybe you and I will learn something regardless of those reasons.
I never meant this post to come across as an elitest statement. Just some feelings of my own I needed some help to work out.
thank you all for responding