Anyone see last night's "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart"? Laughed my ass off.
For those that missed it:
Jon Stewart: "Before we do anything let's do headlines.
A routine car jacking in Los Angeles went horribly, wonderfully awry yesterday, when the twenty year old perpetrator made the unfortunate mistake of trying to steal a van carrying members of a Florida Judo club. (audience laughs; Stewart raises his eyebrows, smiles, and nods) The result? The half dozen martial artists pummeled
the man and handed him over to the LAPD. Now we don't have footage of the actual pummeling, but we do have the results of their handiwork. Take a look."
*Footage of the perp being handcuffed and held by three police officers as he groans in pain.*
Stewart: "(Blinks into the camera with a smile) How refreshing: a suspect beaten up before
the LAPD get to him. ... The Florida Judo team was in town to teach a self defense class and were approached at a gas station. The car jacker asked for money and reached into the mini van to steal its keys. (Chuckle) Why is he car jacking a mini van?
Even with her extensive Judo training, team member Christina Baldacci was surprised."
*Footage of an interview:
Christina Baldacci: "You know, it was broad daylight. It wasn't something you really expect to have happen..."*
Stewart: "(Chuckle) Yeah. (Serious) Think of how he
Judo which translates as "the gentle way" is as much a mental as physical discipline--a martial art in which skill, timing, finesse take the place of brute force. Team member Baldacci explains..."
*Footage of interview:
Baldacci: "The guys ... the boys are punching him in his face and I didn't, you know, I wanted to go around for a choke to choke him out, but I didn't want to risk getting punched in the head, (laughing) so then I started pounding on him from the back."*
Stewart smiles, and bows to the camera to the sound of a gong, then bows again with a small, smiling "Konnichiwa."
Stewart: "The perpetrator, Tyrone Jermaine Hogan, is being held on $1.2 million bail, money his brother hopes to raise by kidnapping Jackie Chan's family and holding them for ransom. Should that fail, perhaps they will plan on using a cobra to knock up the Mongeese Outlet Center... They choose the wrong targets."