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Old 03-19-2012, 06:41 AM   #26
chillzATL
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Re: humility or inferiority complex?

Nothing wrong with being proud of what you've done for YOU, but if you make a habit of letting others know how proud you are of yourself then be prepared to have someone, eventually, check you on it.
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Old 03-19-2012, 07:14 AM   #27
phitruong
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Re: humility or inferiority complex?

first i thought the thread was something about humility or inferiority complex, but as i read through, i had a different thought. where is the whiny complex?

"budo is putting on cold, wet, sweat stained gi with a smile and a snarl" - your truly
http://charlotteaikikai.org
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Old 03-19-2012, 08:37 AM   #28
Keith Larman
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Re: humility or inferiority complex?

Quote:
Phi Truong wrote: View Post
first i thought the thread was something about humility or inferiority complex, but as i read through, i had a different thought. where is the whiny complex?
+1...

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Old 03-19-2012, 01:36 PM   #29
mathewjgano
 
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Re: Humility or inferiority complex?

I think it's about balance. Trying to be humble is a good thing. Trying to be proud of yourself is also a good thing. I think people tend to favor efforts at humility more than efforts at pride because it's usually more pleasant to be around. For lack of a better description, "prideful" people tend to act better than other people and that gets annoying as soon as their own brand of personal faults start shining through...as they invariably do over time. I personally favor a humble attitude because you usually don't have to deal with someone acting like they're more than they actually are. I tend to worry less about humble people making mistakes than prideful people. If I have a general worry about humble people it's that they will shy away from being their best or otherwise withdraw from situations they might be quite helpful in.
I know in my own case there have been times where I held myself back because I was afraid I was getting a little too proud. This wasn't an inferiority complex though since I didn't believe anyone was necessarily better than me. I have a lot of pride for being such a humble man...and of course, being humble is one of the best things about me...that and undiluted awesomeness.

Cheers!

Gambarimashyo!
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Old 03-19-2012, 02:56 PM   #30
phitruong
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Re: Humility or inferiority complex?

Quote:
Matthew Gano wrote: View Post
..that and undiluted awesomeness.

Cheers!
do you charge for awesomeness? personally, being an Asian, i am automatically more meek and humble than you are. and my awesomeness is free of charge!

"budo is putting on cold, wet, sweat stained gi with a smile and a snarl" - your truly
http://charlotteaikikai.org
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Old 03-19-2012, 03:13 PM   #31
morph4me
 
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Re: Humility or inferiority complex?

Quote:
Phi Truong wrote: View Post
do you charge for awesomeness? personally, being an Asian, i am automatically more meek and humble than you are. and my awesomeness is free of charge!
I don't know if your being Asian has anything to do with it, but it's obvious to me that the only thing more impressive than your awesomeness is your humility, but I'm very perceptive

"Logical consequences are the scarecrows of fools and the beacons of wise men" - Thomas Henry Huxley
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Old 03-19-2012, 04:05 PM   #32
Keith Larman
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Re: Humility or inferiority complex?

Well, I'd be perfect if I weren't so humble...

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Old 03-19-2012, 05:48 PM   #33
mathewjgano
 
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Re: Humility or inferiority complex?

Quote:
Keith Larman wrote: View Post
Well, I'd be perfect if I weren't so humble...
Fortunately, I'm just humble enough to be perfect.

Phi, coming from French heritage (I'm pretty sure I'm related to Ceasar or some of his soldiers) I would demand payment in full, but I'm afraid I can't control it: the awesomeness just eeks out of me wherever I go...like Pigpen from Penuts, only of course instead of dust and grime it's undiluted awesome.

...Now if I could just make my Aikido practice and the other things I do as awesome as I am I'd be set.

Gambarimashyo!
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Old 03-20-2012, 06:19 AM   #34
morph4me
 
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Re: Humility or inferiority complex?

Be proud of your humility. I pride myself that I have been blessed with a lot to be humble about.

"Logical consequences are the scarecrows of fools and the beacons of wise men" - Thomas Henry Huxley
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Old 03-20-2012, 06:25 AM   #35
Demetrio Cereijo
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Re: Humility or inferiority complex?

Quote:
Phi Truong wrote: View Post
do you charge for awesomeness? personally, being an Asian, i am automatically more meek and humble than you are. and my awesomeness is free of charge!
What about your attractiveness?

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Old 03-20-2012, 10:40 AM   #36
tarik
 
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Re: Humility or inferiority complex?

Quote:
David Santana wrote: View Post
I'm sorry if this is a rather harsh wake up call for some people, but I've had enough. why can't people ever be proud of their skills? whether it's in aikido or in other aspects of life.
All things in moderation (including moderation). There is nothing wrong with being appropriately proud on one's skills or accomplishments. Is there a specific reason why you feel that this is not occurring or being allowed to occur?

Quote:
David Santana wrote: View Post
okay, I'm only a shodan but is it impossible for a shodan to be a good aikidoka? or is a shodan forbidden to be a good aikidoka?
As I understood the term some years ago, being an aikidoka implies a commitment and interest level that is similar to a vocational level (professional) rather than a avocation (hobby). However, I know many people whose lives in this modern age are more defined by their avocations than their vocations.

Personally, I don't see any significant relationship between the meaning of "good aikidoka" and a person's rank. I know plenty of high ranked yudansha and even some "high level" instructors that I would not, on my own recommendation call a "good aikidoka".

Perhaps I am wrong, but I don't believe that being a good aikidoka is defined by ones actual rank, but by one's study, practice, and application of the principles that define aikido. However, I do believe that being a "good aikidoka" will ultimately lead to a significant rank, at least if you allow yourself to fit or at least not resist the inevitable human politics that arise in any organization.

Quote:
David Santana wrote: View Post
but why is it that whenever I say something that even remotely hints that I think I'm a good Aikidoka, some (if not most) people thinks that I'm being arrogant? I've got a gift, and I've trained very hard to get to how I am today. so why can't I be proud of my efforts and gifts? I worked my ass off really hard for this. I was told that being proud have a lot of psychological benefits.
When people make claims that sound exaggerated, my response is generally "prove it". If they can, then it can hardly be arrogance. Why do you care what other people believe if you believe that your claims are not exaggerated? When you find the answer to that question, perhaps it will matter a great deal less to you how other people respond to what you have to say.

Quote:
David Santana wrote: View Post
please people, find the difference between arrogant and proud. to me, sarcasm is not much better than bullying. and I believe that some of us started training in martial arts (especially Aikido) to get away from bullying, not to be able to bully other people.
People get into aikido for many different reasons, but IME, I have not found there to be any fewer bullies in aikido than in any other aspect of life that I have explored. Indeed, there is rather a solid institutionalized way for bullies to hide within aikido and express their desire/need for power even from themselves.

Quote:
David Santana wrote: View Post
just my 2 cents.
What about inflation?

Regards,

Tarik Ghbeish
Jiyūshin-ryū AikiBudō - Iwae Dojo

MASAKATSU AGATSU -- "The true victory of self-mastery."
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Old 03-20-2012, 02:31 PM   #37
Basia Halliop
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Re: Humility or inferiority complex?

Of course you should be proud, why not?

But I would also consider something else. If you often find yourself feeling like your Aikido is very good, then it's very possible and even rather likely that you're not training very regularly with people who are far better than you, or in situations where you're being pushed to stretch yourself and do things that you find quite hard. If you're most often in situations where you feel like you're really good, then it's possible you're in situations where you're not actually going to get much better.

I.e., if you can, find some classes and situations where you're below average rather than where you're at the top of the class. You will be amazed at how much you learn!
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Old 03-26-2012, 12:44 PM   #38
amoeba
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Re: Humility or inferiority complex?

Well, I know a lot of people that are (in my opinion, at least) really very good at aikido and I'm quite sure they know that, too. And are proud of it. Some of them even like to show off a little, yes. But none of them ever walked up to me and told me "Hey, my Aikido is really good, isn't it?"

That's just not something one would ever say about oneself. At least not where I train, and actually I don't think that's Aikido-specific, the same would go for, oh, I don't know, tennis or something.

And it would be equally strange (and look very much like fishing for compliments) if those people were overly humble.

For myself, yes, I actually believe there's parts of aikido that I'm pretty good at, compared to other people about my level. I can take breakfalls quite easily (probably because I'm still young and more or less fit...) and all in all I think I'm a good uke. But I also know where my problems are and am humbled often enough, be it at home or at seminars, by better people, to never forget those, either. And anyway, why should I walk around talking about my skills? If somebody wants to comment on them, fine, if it's a compliment, I'm glad, if it's constructive criticism, I think about it. And yes, sometimes I'm annoyed by criticism, I'm only human. But I'm annoyed in silence...
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Old 03-27-2012, 02:43 PM   #39
Benjamin Green
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Re: Humility or inferiority complex?

Quote:
David Santana wrote: View Post
I'm sorry if this is a rather harsh wake up call for some people, but I've had enough. why can't people ever be proud of their skills?
Generally people with high self-esteem are not good for a company built around retaining a hierarchical power relationship. I would imagine, where it is present, a lot of the general theme comes from that.
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Old 03-27-2012, 04:28 PM   #40
Michael Hackett
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Re: Humility or inferiority complex?

As Mac Davis once sang.....Oh Lord, It's hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way.

Michael
"Leave the gun. Bring the cannoli."
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