Welcome to AikiWeb Aikido Information
AikiWeb: The Source for Aikido Information
AikiWeb's principal purpose is to serve the Internet community as a repository and dissemination point for aikido information.

Sections
home
aikido articles
columns

Discussions
forums
aikiblogs

Databases
dojo search
seminars
image gallery
supplies
links directory

Reviews
book reviews
video reviews
dvd reviews
equip. reviews

News
submit
archive

Miscellaneous
newsletter
rss feeds
polls
about

Follow us on



Home > AikiWeb Aikido Forums
Go Back   AikiWeb Aikido Forums > Open Discussions

Hello and thank you for visiting AikiWeb, the world's most active online Aikido community! This site is home to over 22,000 aikido practitioners from around the world and covers a wide range of aikido topics including techniques, philosophy, history, humor, beginner issues, the marketplace, and more.

If you wish to join in the discussions or use the other advanced features available, you will need to register first. Registration is absolutely free and takes only a few minutes to complete so sign up today!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 11-15-2011, 03:31 PM   #26
genin
Location: southwest
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 103
United_States
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
Lynn Seiser wrote: View Post
Perhaps "mitigating" is flowing (enter and blend) by seeing the big situational picture through strategic (not just tactical) eyes and minimize the potential and possibilities beforehand, and then manage/"mitigate" what is unavoidable?

Thoughts?
Assessing the situation. That's all that is. But again, that requires common sense and some amount of combat awareness (for lack of a better term). I know a lot of women in particular (including my mom) who can spot a shady situation from a mile away, but once in it, would be overwhelmed by fear and would respond accordingly in a knee-jerk fashion. Needless to say, thier response may not always be the best course of action.

I like the part in Harris' article where he talked about creating hypotheticals and pre-determining how to handle those situations should they ever occur in real life. I do that often. But if you don't know how to defend yourself, and if you aren't accustomed to thinking about violence along these lines, your average person won't bother doing any of this. The reality is that they'll likely be caught off guard and all they'll be thinking is "I can't belive this is happening to me right now!" while violence is being perpetrated against them.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2011, 06:48 PM   #27
kewms
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,316
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
Roger Flatley wrote: View Post
People who are placed into unavoidable violent situations are one thing, but people who end up there through their own bad choices are another. What I took from Harris' blog, was that violence should always be avoided, and for the most part, can be. All it takes is a basic understanding of human nature and practical knowledge of conflict resolution.
So easy to sit in judgment. Not so easy to recognize one's own bad choices when one is in the process of making them.

Katherine
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2011, 08:04 PM   #28
Keith Larman
Dojo: AIA, Los Angeles, CA
Location: California
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,604
United_States
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
Katherine Derbyshire wrote: View Post
So easy to sit in judgment. Not so easy to recognize one's own bad choices when one is in the process of making them.

Katherine
Amen.

  Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2011, 11:12 PM   #29
Kevin Leavitt
 
Kevin Leavitt's Avatar
Dojo: Team Combat USA
Location: Olympia, Washington
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 4,376
United_States
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
Lynn Seiser wrote: View Post
Yes agreed (again).

Some hairs need to be split and some semantics corrected to direct our interpretation and focus.

IMHO, we usually respond with fight, flight, or freeze.

Avoidance is fear based and can create a chase mentality in situational and opportunistic predators.

Perhaps "mitigating" is flowing (enter and blend) by seeing the big situational picture through strategic (not just tactical) eyes and minimize the potential and possibilities beforehand, and then manage/"mitigate" what is unavoidable?

Thoughts?
I agree. It is the removal of fear that is key. I had not thought of that in this level. Avoidance does not remove the fear, but extends it.

I also agree on the strategic picture. A big problem with self defense is that it sometimes is too narrow and only considers the immediate or the tactical level of issues. In the bigger picture we need to look beyond the tactical level considering second and third order affects. I think this is the definition of bud.

  Reply With Quote
Old 11-16-2011, 06:13 AM   #30
Tim Ruijs
 
Tim Ruijs's Avatar
Dojo: Makato/Netherlands
Location: Netherlands - Leusden
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 463
Netherlands
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

People let themselves get intimidated by the imposed situation and fear then stops them from seeing alternative situations (fixation). That fear originates from the possible outcome of the imposed/suggested situation. Fear vanishes when you can see different outcome, have options.
Now all this is easy to write comfortably sitting at my desk, but in actual practise....

I am not sure violence can always be avoided. A violent situation can occur anytime, anywhere and direct its ugly head at you for no other reason than you being there. Do you have to resort to violent actions yourself in such a situation? Depends. In love and war anything goes....
Perhaps you can escape the situation, perhaps you need to protect someone, perhaps you need to help someone... that is all down to character I guess.

In a real fight:
* If you make a bad decision, you die.
* If you don't decide anything, you die.
Aikido teaches you how to decide.
www.aikido-makato.nl
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-16-2011, 08:02 AM   #31
genin
Location: southwest
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 103
United_States
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
Katherine Derbyshire wrote: View Post
So easy to sit in judgment. Not so easy to recognize one's own bad choices when one is in the process of making them.

Katherine
Just out of curiosity, where is the judgment thing coming from? How does that relate to violence and how to deal with it?
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-16-2011, 08:03 AM   #32
John A Butz
Dojo: Itten Dojo, Enola PA
Location: Carlisle PA
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 45
United_States
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Might I recomend that folks interested in some of the psychology of why people find it so hard to remove themselves from violent situations, and the general societal mindset of violence, check out "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker?

I found this to be a fascinating and incredibly interesting look at how society conditions us to treat violence (domestic, sexual predation, even assasination and sudden criminal violence) in certain ways, how we misconcieve of what the real indicators of violence are due to societal conditioning, and how we discount our own intuition. The book absolutely changed how I view violence and how I view the victims of violence, specifically folks in abusive situations,the survivors, and even the abusers and perpetrators of violent acts.

I think it is a must-read for everyone, to be honest. The issues DeBecker touches on are very germane to this thread, and specifcly to Mr. Flatley's statements about how people should be easily able to recognize a bad situation and get out of it with just a little common sense. I used to hold a similar view, but as I learn more about the realities of these things, I must say that the issues are far more complex than outside observers might think that they are.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-16-2011, 11:37 AM   #33
genin
Location: southwest
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 103
United_States
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

I would say it's self-evident that you are in a dangerous and abusive situation if you are with someone who is physically violent toward you. To dispute that would be a sign of denial or ignorance. It may very well be the case that the person feels helpless to extricate themselves from that situation, which I agree may be a difficult thing to do. That's not to say I wouldn't have empathy for such a person, or that they should be "judged" for not handling the situation appropriately.

If you are being victimized in a domestic violence situation, then the reason this is occuring is not because you are bad at self-defense. It's because you have allowed yourself to continue to be in the war path of an abuser. Step off the path, and the abuser will pass right by you. Easier said than done, I know. But the point is that in this type of scenario, there is a clear reason why you are a victim of violence. That's all I wanted to point out. Whether or not the person is justified for being in that situation or whether "we" should have compassion for them is not relevant as it pertains to handling violent situations.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-16-2011, 12:38 PM   #34
John A Butz
Dojo: Itten Dojo, Enola PA
Location: Carlisle PA
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 45
United_States
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
Roger Flatley wrote: View Post
If you are being victimized in a domestic violence situation, then the reason this is occuring is not because you are bad at self-defense. It's because you have allowed yourself to continue to be in the war path of an abuser. Step off the path, and the abuser will pass right by you.
I am going to dispute this. In many situations, the abuser will not pass by - they will continue to pursue you and possibly continue to do you harm or even kill you.

In still other situations, how is the abused to get away if they are, for example, a minor child. Or if they are responsible for a mninor child living in an abusive home.

The legal system repeatedly fails to help and protect the victims of domestic abuse. Many a restraining order ends up with the murder of the person who requested the order.

I am not implying that you are saying any of these issues are easy, Mr. Flatley, but rather saying that I think you would be well served to gather a little additional information as to the physcology, methods, and mindset of abusers, so that you can have some context for your beliefs and statements. I think you presume quite a lot about how easy, obvious, and evident these things are, as I once did. I reference myself because I too used to think similarly to your stated position, and it was only after perusing the literature, study, and a good hard look at my own experiences that i could see I had been incorrect in my assumptions.

I believe that as people with power, the power gained through the study of martial arts and ways, we have an obligation to look at how to apply that power. We can not, for example, fight others physical battles for them. Nor can we apply the physcial techniques of our art to the problem. We can't be there for every single violent encounter, and even ending a violent encounter conclusivly will not neccessarily change things.

Instead, we need to really understand the way these things work, how we as a society and a people deal with and create violence, so that we can remove the myths and lies and false conclusions that are incredibly prevelant in this area of life and see the real truth of things. Once we have an understanding of these aspects of violence (and I am by no means saying there is a single corrrect way of doing this) we can determine what effective actions can be taken to stop the continual spread of these things.

As an example, let me refer to the recent scandal at Penn State, involving the alleged abuse of children. The accused resides very near an elementary school, and there has been a lot of media attention paid to that fact, that this man is a molester and the students should be careful. And yet, the victims were not people pulled off the street or choosen at random. Instead, they were groomed carefully and slowly and then, once they were sufficently conditioned, they were abused, presuming allegations are true. So, it is not only the steroetypical "stranger in a van who offers you candy" that we should be arming our children against. We should also be teaching them how to recognize and respond to grooming behavior. And yet, instead, the image continues to be perpetuated by instituitons like this elementary school that the molester will just come along and molest your child.

Now, please note, I am not saying that that sort of thing doesn't happpen - it surely does. But rather I am saying that until we can, as a society, recognize that we put a lot of blinders and preconceptions on when we discuss these issues, we will never be able to really understand violence. We have to stop hiding behind what we think we know and look at what things really are.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-16-2011, 01:34 PM   #35
genin
Location: southwest
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 103
United_States
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

So I guess a secondary question has come about, which is: how to address violence in domestic abuse-type situations? Initially I was just identifying that as one of many potentially violent situations one might find themselves in. The "how" question didn't seem relevant in that context, but perhaps it is worth discussing.

I would say that the obvious answer is to try to remove the victim from the situation. But if it's a parent or a spouse that the victim is finanically reliant upon, then that makes it logistically very tough. Of course, at a certain point you have to have a "whatever it takes" attitude if you expect things to change. Otherwise it just becomes a matter justifying and rationalizing why someone is allowed to abuse you. With people like that, they may not possess the wherewithal to break free. Or they may be painted into a corner that they simply can't get out of under their own doing. That is when outside help must come into play.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-16-2011, 01:47 PM   #36
John A Butz
Dojo: Itten Dojo, Enola PA
Location: Carlisle PA
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 45
United_States
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Understanding the mind of the abuser and how they are empowered and rewarded by being abusive helps difuse, prevent, and correct these types of things. As I am, however, nothing more than a slightly informed, barely knowledgeable layman, I don't feel comfortable offering actual solutions. This is a set of issues that I have only recently really become aware of, and so I am still digesting the data and trying to figure out what I would do in those situations.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-16-2011, 04:16 PM   #37
SeiserL
 
SeiserL's Avatar
Location: Florida Gulf coast
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 3,803
United_States
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
Roger Flatley wrote: View Post
So I guess a secondary question has come about, which is: how to address violence in domestic abuse-type situations?
To properly address domestic/family violence, we would have to address the underlying multi-generational family transmission of roles, rules, and relationships.

Add to that the social sanctions and we have a much larger context in which to address and apply a strategy for confronting, challenging, and changing the truth about violence.

Lynn Seiser PhD
Yondan Aikido & FMA/JKD
We do not rise to the level of our expectations, but fall to the level of our training. Train well. KWATZ!
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-16-2011, 04:30 PM   #38
genin
Location: southwest
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 103
United_States
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
Lynn Seiser wrote: View Post
To properly address domestic/family violence, we would have to address the underlying multi-generational family transmission of roles, rules, and relationships.

Add to that the social sanctions and we have a much larger context in which to address and apply a strategy for confronting, challenging, and changing the truth about violence.
That doesn't make sense, but it sounds good. "Changing the truth about violence."
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-2011, 02:34 AM   #39
Tim Ruijs
 
Tim Ruijs's Avatar
Dojo: Makato/Netherlands
Location: Netherlands - Leusden
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 463
Netherlands
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
Roger Flatley wrote: View Post
That doesn't make sense, but it sounds good. "Changing the truth about violence."
I guess what Lynn says is that source of abuser is not solely the abuser himself (nature) but also how he/she was brought up (=nurture) and in what kind of environment. All this affects their view of 'normal' behaviour and violent behaviour. As Lynn said a very complex issue.

In a real fight:
* If you make a bad decision, you die.
* If you don't decide anything, you die.
Aikido teaches you how to decide.
www.aikido-makato.nl
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-2011, 05:50 AM   #40
graham christian
Dojo: golden center aikido-highgate
Location: london
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,697
England
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
Roger Flatley wrote: View Post
So I guess a secondary question has come about, which is: how to address violence in domestic abuse-type situations? Initially I was just identifying that as one of many potentially violent situations one might find themselves in. The "how" question didn't seem relevant in that context, but perhaps it is worth discussing.

I would say that the obvious answer is to try to remove the victim from the situation. But if it's a parent or a spouse that the victim is finanically reliant upon, then that makes it logistically very tough. Of course, at a certain point you have to have a "whatever it takes" attitude if you expect things to change. Otherwise it just becomes a matter justifying and rationalizing why someone is allowed to abuse you. With people like that, they may not possess the wherewithal to break free. Or they may be painted into a corner that they simply can't get out of under their own doing. That is when outside help must come into play.
I would say the answer lies in understanding as usual and also the best solutions therefore.

The basics once again will be the same whether domestic or non domestic.

For me there is only one true solution and that is helping the victim not to be a victim any more. (you could add on here helping the abuser or violent person not to be so any more)

It's not really more complicated than that in essence. The only complicated bit is getting someone who is able to understand and capable of changing, handling such situations.

Regards.G.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-2011, 10:45 AM   #41
sorokod
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 716
United Kingdom
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
Graham Christian wrote: View Post
I would say the answer lies in understanding as usual and also the best solutions therefore.

The basics once again will be the same whether domestic or non domestic.

For me there is only one true solution and that is helping the victim not to be a victim any more. (you could add on here helping the abuser or violent person not to be so any more)

It's not really more complicated than that in essence. The only complicated bit is getting someone who is able to understand and capable of changing, handling such situations.

Regards.G.
and in the same spirit, by replacing "victim" with "cancer patient" we have:

"For me there is only one true solution and that is helping the cancer patient not to be a cancer patient any more.

It's not really more complicated than that in essence. The only complicated bit is getting someone who is able to understand and capable of changing, handling such situations."

  Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-2011, 11:06 AM   #42
graham christian
Dojo: golden center aikido-highgate
Location: london
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,697
England
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
David Soroko wrote: View Post
and in the same spirit, by replacing "victim" with "cancer patient" we have:

"For me there is only one true solution and that is helping the cancer patient not to be a cancer patient any more.

It's not really more complicated than that in essence. The only complicated bit is getting someone who is able to understand and capable of changing, handling such situations."
Connection????
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-2011, 11:51 AM   #43
SeiserL
 
SeiserL's Avatar
Location: Florida Gulf coast
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 3,803
United_States
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
Graham Christian wrote: View Post
Connection????
Perhaps the process is the same?
Only the content of understanding and compassion differs?

Ignorance and pain (fear and anger) perhaps is the root of violence?

Perhaps cultivating awareness, mindfulness, intelligence, and compassion in all we do can help?

Lynn Seiser PhD
Yondan Aikido & FMA/JKD
We do not rise to the level of our expectations, but fall to the level of our training. Train well. KWATZ!
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-2011, 12:31 PM   #44
sorokod
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 716
United Kingdom
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
Graham Christian wrote: View Post
Connection????
What you are saying is equivalent to: to solve a problem (any problem) it is just a
matter of making it not a problem. This statement is as correct as it is useless. It's a tautology.

  Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-2011, 01:01 PM   #45
genin
Location: southwest
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 103
United_States
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
David Soroko wrote: View Post
What you are saying is equivalent to: to solve a problem (any problem) it is just a
matter of making it not a problem. This statement is as correct as it is useless. It's a tautology.
I think that some posters were reluctant to jump headlong at addressing domestic violence. So as you would expect with martial artists, the responses turned into "hear the sound of one hand clapping" type responses that Kung Fu master would tell to Grasshoppper. Sounds poetic, but it lacks substance.

I agree that cultivating peace in our own lives, and applying that to all we encounter, is one way to prevent and defeat violence. Combatting violence with violence has historically not produced desired results. All it does is raise the body count, meanwhile the root issues remain unchanged.

A half million dead soldiers weren't enough to give blacks in America their civil rights. It wasn't until a few unarmed men protested with non-violence 100 years later, that the battle was finally won. And as far as I know, the victors never fired a single shot. That should tell you something.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-2011, 02:44 PM   #46
kewms
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,316
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
Roger Flatley wrote: View Post
So I guess a secondary question has come about, which is: how to address violence in domestic abuse-type situations? Initially I was just identifying that as one of many potentially violent situations one might find themselves in. The "how" question didn't seem relevant in that context, but perhaps it is worth discussing.
The experience of people who actually help domestic violence victims suggests that the first important realization is that the safety of the victim often is not improved by resorting to the legal system. Restraining orders don't work. Throwing the abuser in jail doesn't work, except for the time he is actually in custody. And so the answer for victims is to get out of the situation by whatever means necessary, up to and including leaving in the middle of the night with nothing but the clothes on their back. Much easier said than done, especially if children are involved.

The second important realization is that creating both real and psychological dependency is what abusers do, and they are very good at it. So a victim is probably not going to have a lot of real resources to draw upon, and may not be psychologically capable of evaluating the resources they do have. Attaching the abuser's resources means resorting to the legal system, which may not be the best idea from a safety perspective. Any system that doesn't help a victim get access to the basic necessities of life just isn't going to work.

Katherine
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-2011, 03:13 PM   #47
genin
Location: southwest
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 103
United_States
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
Katherine Derbyshire wrote: View Post
The experience of people who actually help domestic violence victims suggests that the first important realization is that the safety of the victim often is not improved by resorting to the legal system. Restraining orders don't work. Throwing the abuser in jail doesn't work, except for the time he is actually in custody. And so the answer for victims is to get out of the situation by whatever means necessary, up to and including leaving in the middle of the night with nothing but the clothes on their back. Much easier said than done, especially if children are involved.

The second important realization is that creating both real and psychological dependency is what abusers do, and they are very good at it. So a victim is probably not going to have a lot of real resources to draw upon, and may not be psychologically capable of evaluating the resources they do have. Attaching the abuser's resources means resorting to the legal system, which may not be the best idea from a safety perspective. Any system that doesn't help a victim get access to the basic necessities of life just isn't going to work.

Katherine
I've never understood how these abusers get away with it. If I had physically abused my ex, I'm sure her dad, uncle, brothers, you name it, would've come to her rescue and tried to beat me up...or worse. The same with people who abuse children too, especially in this day and age where you can't even yell at a kid without being reported.

It just donned on me. Regardless of the reasons why an abuse victim suffers from and tolerates abuse, the fact remains that they fall into the category of a person who is unable to defend themselves.
However, in these types of circumstances, it's not a matter of learning how to block and counter a punch. "Self-defense" from an abuser needs to take on a completely non-physical form--perhaps using psychological tactics to prevent the abuse.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-2011, 03:48 PM   #48
kewms
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,316
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
Roger Flatley wrote: View Post
I've never understood how these abusers get away with it. If I had physically abused my ex, I'm sure her dad, uncle, brothers, you name it, would've come to her rescue and tried to beat me up...or worse.
Right. And then what happens when uncles and brothers are gone, and victim is left alone with the abuser? Unless you get the victim out of the situation, attempts to intervene can just make things worse.

With child abuse, you have a depressingly long list of cases where the child victim simply is not believed, or where the adults involved close ranks around the abuser rather than the child.

Katherine
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-2011, 05:08 PM   #49
genin
Location: southwest
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 103
United_States
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

This is from a recent article about a long-standing domestic violence situation that escalated to murder.
Quote:
Maria's fear of her husband, intensified by 15 years of abuse, grew to the point that she obtained a temporary restraining order against him last month, according to court records.

The husband, Isaac, is accused of fatally shooting Maria the evening of Aug. 5, when an argument between the estranged spouses escalated outside a local business.

Maria, a mother of five, outlined years of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of her husband in court filings, and family and friends relayed similar information.

"He just secluded her from everybody," said Maria's longtime friend, Delani. "He was very controlling, very abusive from the beginning. He had a hold on her."

In the last month of her life, Maria had become especially afraid for her safety as her husband whom she recently left stalked her and harassed her, according to court papers filed by the victim.

"I have tried to keep my distance, but he shows up at grocery stores, my parents' house, etc.," she wrote. "I am afraid for my safety because he reacts aggressively when things don't go his way. I am afraid for my safety when he realizes I will not be going back to him."

Maria, 35, suffered bullet wounds to her head, chest and torso, and was transported to a local hospital, where she was pronounced dead. "
There you have it. A real life example. Like others have said, it always follows the same pattern and the law was helpless to stop it.

But then you start looking at the details....15 YEARS of abuse. The husband looked like he stepped right out of the yard in San Quentin--tatted up like crazy. The woman was in fear of her life, but probably didn't arm herself, despite being threatened by a person whom she knew to be violent. This story is a prime example of how domestic violence gets out of control, even when the victim tries to do soemthing about it. But it also illustrates a lack of preparation when it comes to defending yourself. Telling the law on somebody is NOT a form of self-defense. At the end of the day, a person must be prepared to physically defend themselves if they are to stand a chance at survival.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2011, 03:18 AM   #50
Tim Ruijs
 
Tim Ruijs's Avatar
Dojo: Makato/Netherlands
Location: Netherlands - Leusden
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 463
Netherlands
Offline
Re: The Truth about Violence

Quote:
Roger Flatley wrote: View Post
But it also illustrates a lack of preparation when it comes to defending yourself. Telling the law on somebody is NOT a form of self-defense. At the end of the day, a person must be prepared to physically defend themselves if they are to stand a chance at survival.
Question is then is the abused able to prepare himself when already intimidated and 'under control of the abuser'. I feel it is critically important that people recognise the situation as early as possible and act accordingly, but people are strange creatures....love and hate are only two sides of the same coin, separated by virtually nothing.

In a real fight:
* If you make a bad decision, you die.
* If you don't decide anything, you die.
Aikido teaches you how to decide.
www.aikido-makato.nl
  Reply With Quote

Please visit our sponsor:

AikiWeb Sponsored Links - Place your Aikido link here for only $10!



Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The heart against the sword Guillaume Erard External Aikido Blog Posts 3 02-28-2011 09:30 AM
The heart against the sword Guillaume Erard External Aikido Blog Posts 0 02-28-2011 05:30 AM
The heart against the sword Guillaume Erard External Aikido Blog Posts 0 01-17-2011 01:36 PM
Help please I need of all the aikidokist (being bullied) felipe_3 General 43 09-16-2010 07:48 AM
Aikido and the politics of violence Neil Mick Spiritual 54 09-12-2002 03:55 AM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:38 PM.



vBulletin Copyright © 2000-2016 Jelsoft Enterprises Limited
----------
Copyright 1997-2016 AikiWeb and its Authors, All Rights Reserved.
----------
For questions and comments about this website:
Send E-mail
plainlaid-picaresque outchasing-protistan explicantia-altarage seaford-stellionate