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Old 09-13-2007, 01:53 AM   #1
SamuraiJim
Dojo: Aikido Yuiskinkai, Bald Hills
Location: Bray Park, Brisbane
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 11
Australia
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Lost

Hi All

I'm looking for advice. I stopped training about 6 months ago. I didn't really make a decision to stop training I just haven't been back to the dojo since my last lesson.

I'd like to return because I enjoyed training but when I think about going back I become full of mixed emotions.

Largely I'm nervous about returning without notice or a valid reason for my absence. I feel almost ashamed. As a result of these feeling my motivation to go back is declining and I feel somewhat lost.

Suggestions and advice will be gratefully received.

Thanks.
SamuraiJim
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Old 09-13-2007, 02:28 AM   #2
Bronson
 
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Re: Lost

Hi JIm,

I went through something similar recently. I did go back and was met with warmth and kindness. I wasn't made to feel guilty, the folks at the dojo were just glad to see me back.

It's not much in the way of advice but I thought I'd share my experience.

Best,

Bronson

"A pacifist is not really a pacifist if he is unable to make a choice between violence and non-violence. A true pacifist is able to kill or maim in the blink of an eye, but at the moment of impending destruction of the enemy he chooses non-violence."
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Old 09-13-2007, 02:54 AM   #3
Aristeia
Location: Auckland
Join Date: Sep 2002
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Re: Lost

This is very common - your dojo mates have seen it before and will see it again so will I'm sure be nothing but accepting and welcoming when you return. It's always great to see someone you thought you'd lost walk through the door. Most likely most of the seniors on the mat have been through a similar stint themselves. You don't need to have an "excuse" prepared - just get back on the mat.

"When your only tool is a hammer every problem starts to look like a nail"
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Old 09-13-2007, 07:56 AM   #4
SeiserL
 
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Dojo: Roswell Budokan, Kyushinkan Dojo, Aikido World Alliance
Location: Roswell, GA USA
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Re: Lost

Very common, but seldom admitted and talked about.
Call your Sensei, tell them what you stated here, show up, suite up, shut up, and train.
Welcome back.

Lynn Seiser PhD
Yondan Aikido & FMA/JKD
We do not rise to the level of our expectations, but fall to the level of our training. Train well. KWATZ!
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Old 09-13-2007, 08:55 AM   #5
Josh Reyer
 
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Location: Aichi-ken, Nagoya-shi
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Re: Lost

Ever hear of the prodigal son?

Josh Reyer

The lyf so short, the crafte so longe to lerne,
Th'assay so harde, so sharpe the conquerynge...
- Chaucer
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Old 09-13-2007, 09:59 AM   #6
Larry Cuvin
 
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Dojo: Oregon Ki Society
Location: Tigard, Oregon
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Re: Lost

Just go back and train. Simple as that. Thank them for welcoming you back.

Plus Ki
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Old 09-13-2007, 10:35 AM   #7
gregstec
Dojo: Aiki Kurabu
Location: Elizabethtown, PA
Join Date: Jun 2004
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Re: Lost

As most have already said, this common - just go and train if that is what you want to do; you will be accepted.

Best

Greg
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Old 09-13-2007, 11:12 AM   #8
crbateman
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Re: Lost

You want to go back... This alone puts you head and shoulders above those who don't. I think you're worrying needlessly.
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Old 09-13-2007, 12:38 PM   #9
Karen Wolek
Dojo: Kingston Aikido
Location: New York
Join Date: Dec 2002
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Re: Lost

Just go back. That's all there is to it.

Karen
"Try not. Do...or do not. There is no try." - Master Yoda
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Old 09-13-2007, 12:56 PM   #10
Dewey
Location: St. Louis, MO
Join Date: Mar 2007
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Re: Lost

As everyone else has already said: just go back. You didn't burn any bridges and you weren't asked to leave. You just have to get over your own lingering embarrassment/shame/guilt/whatever. Just make sure your returning is because you want to. Most martial arts instructors understand that life often gets in the way of training, so don't worry about it too much. They'll most likely be glad to see you resume training.
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Old 09-13-2007, 01:26 PM   #11
lbb
Location: Massachusetts
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Re: Lost

As others have said, it's a common phenomenon for people to drift away without a real solid reason. If you just go back and resume training with a sincere attitude, I doubt that there will be an issue. The only place where I could see an issue in cases like this is if you're ambivalent about being there, and are expecting someone at the dojo to convince you. They won't try to, because they know that if you need to be sold, it probably won't work/last. On the flipside, you really don't need any great big significant reason or goal to be there. If you just want to train, that's really all that's needed.
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Old 09-13-2007, 03:41 PM   #12
Aikibu
Dojo: West Wind Dojo Santa Monica California
Location: Malibu, California
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Re: Lost

As a beginner it's easier to act your way in to right thinking than to think your way into right action...

Take your Body to Class... put a smile on your face.... and your worst fears will melt away...

William Hazen

We all take breaks from training.
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Old 09-13-2007, 05:55 PM   #13
SamuraiJim
Dojo: Aikido Yuiskinkai, Bald Hills
Location: Bray Park, Brisbane
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 11
Australia
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Re: Lost

THANK YOU SO MUCH, EVERYONE!!!

This showing of support is overwhelming. This has certainly reduced my concerns and I feel very confident that I can return to training once again.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

Cheers
SamuraiJim
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Old 09-13-2007, 06:13 PM   #14
mathewjgano
 
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Dojo: Tsubaki Kannagara Jinja Aikidojo; Himeji Shodokan Dojo
Location: Renton
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Re: Lost

Quote:
James Cantwell wrote: View Post
Hi All

I'm looking for advice. I stopped training about 6 months ago. I didn't really make a decision to stop training I just haven't been back to the dojo since my last lesson.

I'd like to return because I enjoyed training but when I think about going back I become full of mixed emotions.

Largely I'm nervous about returning without notice or a valid reason for my absence. I feel almost ashamed. As a result of these feeling my motivation to go back is declining and I feel somewhat lost.

Suggestions and advice will be gratefully received.

Thanks.
SamuraiJim
Jim,
I also know that feeling. If nothing else it's a good chance to face your own fears. If you want to train, do so and enjoy the experience!
Good luck!
Matt

Gambarimashyo!
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Old 09-13-2007, 06:40 PM   #15
eyrie
 
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Location: Summerholm, Queensland
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Re: Lost

I agree. You need to get yourself off the island and find The Others.

Ignatius
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Old 09-13-2007, 08:06 PM   #16
aikidoc
Dojo: Aikido of Midland
Location: Midland Texas
Join Date: Dec 2000
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Re: Lost

As pointed out life sometimes just gets in the way. Most of your dojo mates have seen this many times before. Sometimes people drop out for years and then just return.
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Old 09-13-2007, 09:58 PM   #17
heathererandolph
Dojo: Kokikai Aikido Boston
Location: Boston
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Lost

I think once you are out for awhile you start to lose momentum, and it gets harder and harder to come back. I don't think you need to give anyone an explanation. I think everyone will be really glad to see you back. People don't leave and then return that often from what I've seen. Give it a shot!
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Old 09-13-2007, 10:52 PM   #18
nagoyajoe
 
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Dojo: Kokikai Hombu Shushinkan Dojo, Nagoya
Location: Nagoya, Japan
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Re: Lost

I agree with Heather. Just go back and I am sure you will be warmly welcomed. Good luck!
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Old 09-13-2007, 11:12 PM   #19
crbateman
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Re: Lost

And don't forget to come back here, and let us know how it's going.
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