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Old 04-24-2006, 06:04 PM   #51
Michael O'Brien
Dojo: Nashville Aikikai
Location: Nashville, Tn
Join Date: Jan 2006
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Re: So I kotegaishi'd my girlfriend...

Quote:
Hanna Björk wrote:
Having training in martial arts does not make other people responsible for your irrational overreaction when startled.
Since we do not know the whole story I would hardly call his reaction an "irrational overation" by any means.

He was in his home alone for all he knew. It was clearly stated no one else was supposed to be there. Then he is for all intents and purposes "attacked from behind". He responded just as his training indicated he should and defended himself with reasonable force.

Maybe this could also be a lesson to all of the girlfriends, boyfriends, and spouses out there who think it is cute to kick, punch, slap, etc at their significant others who train in martial arts. Attacking someone who isn't expecting it can lead to a natural reflex reaction which may lead to your getting hurt.

Harmony does not mean that there are no conflicts,
for the dynamic spiral of existence embraces both extremes.
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Old 04-24-2006, 07:01 PM   #52
Saw Y. C. Naw
Location: San Jose, CA
Join Date: Mar 2006
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Re: So I kotegaishi'd my girlfriend...

Quote:
Michael O'Brien wrote:
Maybe this could also be a lesson to all of the girlfriends, boyfriends, and spouses out there who think it is cute to kick, punch, slap, etc at their significant others who train in martial arts. Attacking someone who isn't expecting it can lead to a natural reflex reaction which may lead to your getting hurt.
So I guess the question is: How would a martial artist learn to avoid reacting naturally in social situations, while maintaining awareness and adaptability at the same time?

I mean, the loved ones and the children in your family could "play" with you in this way at any time. Is the only solution to tell everyone around you "DON'T ever surprise me kids, because I can be bad. Very bad."
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Old 04-24-2006, 07:13 PM   #53
Michael O'Brien
Dojo: Nashville Aikikai
Location: Nashville, Tn
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Re: So I kotegaishi'd my girlfriend...

Quote:
Saw Y. C. Naw wrote:
So I guess the question is: How would a martial artist learn to avoid reacting naturally in social situations, while maintaining awareness and adaptability at the same time?

I mean, the loved ones and the children in your family could "play" with you in this way at any time. Is the only solution to tell everyone around you "DON'T ever surprise me kids, because I can be bad. Very bad."
LOL ... Early on that may be part of it. I'l tell a boring story about my childhood that may help some or may just be better than a sleeping pill for you. LOL

My father was a Marine and I grew up around guns long before I ever learned to "fight". I was always taught never ever point a gun at something you didn't want to kill. That mindset has stuck with me through my martial arts training as well. When confronted/surprised/etc as my body starts to react naturally I always try to focus on what I call "target identification". I am usually already early into technique by the time my brain registers that my "target" is my wife, step-daughter, or best friend that just loves to push my buttons.

The only time I ever actually was attacked on the street I had been studying TKD for 5 years and was preparing for my Shodan test. I was jumped from behind and that natual reaction took over and the guy was unconsious in about 2 seconds. I realized he was out as he was falling, and to be honest, it scared the crap out of me.

The point of all of my rambling I guess is to be acutely aware that your training can inflict serious injury and is a gift not to be taken lightly.

Just like your reflexes and techniques will sharpen over time, so will your control and "target identification" skills. Always be aware that you can injure someone and you will be less likely to actually do it unless you are left no other choice.

Harmony does not mean that there are no conflicts,
for the dynamic spiral of existence embraces both extremes.
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Old 04-25-2006, 01:58 AM   #54
crbateman
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Re: So I kotegaishi'd my girlfriend...

This episode certainly serves as a classic illustration of how one can win the battle, but lose the war...
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Old 04-25-2006, 02:08 AM   #55
xuzen
 
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Re: So I kotegaishi'd my girlfriend...

So I grappled with my wife in bed last Sunday for the remote control. She won naturally. I have never win at grappling with her before. If I won, it would again be another case of winning the battle, but losing the war... if you guys catch my drift.

SHOMEN-ATE (TM), the solution to 90% of aikido and life's problems.
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Old 04-25-2006, 08:51 AM   #56
beanchild
Dojo: Aikido Academy, Columbia, SC
Join Date: Aug 2002
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Re: So I kotegaishi'd my girlfriend...

Quote:
Michael O'Brien wrote:
...
The only time I ever actually was attacked on the street I had been studying TKD for 5 years and was preparing for my Shodan test. I was jumped from behind and that natual reaction took over and the guy was unconsious in about 2 seconds. I realized he was out as he was falling, and to be honest, it scared the crap out of me.

The point of all of my rambling I guess is to be acutely aware that your training can inflict serious injury and is a gift not to be taken lightly.

Just like your reflexes and techniques will sharpen over time, so will your control and "target identification" skills. Always be aware that you can injure someone and you will be less likely to actually do it unless you are left no other choice.
I'm glad you said that. There are times when I think to myself, man, I'm training and training, and I just seem to be getting worse. And I know part of it is I'm paying more attention to the nuances of technique, but it still is bothersome.
So it's good to hear from another that after training, it does become muscle memory.
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Old 04-25-2006, 11:41 AM   #57
NixNa
Join Date: Apr 2004
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Re: So I kotegaishi'd my girlfriend...

Quote:
Saw Y. C. Naw wrote:
Oh, and we're always fine the next day after something hits the fan... don't you guys just someone like that?
?? I think u mean to say "ai" as in love, wrong character. = harmony heh..

Anyhow, ive overreacted a number of times in the past and it can be really embarrassing sometimes ..
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Old 04-25-2006, 12:31 PM   #58
Saw Y. C. Naw
Location: San Jose, CA
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Re: So I kotegaishi'd my girlfriend...

Quote:
Nixon Na wrote:
?? I think u mean to say "ai" as in love, wrong character. = harmony heh..

Anyhow, ive overreacted a number of times in the past and it can be really embarrassing sometimes ..
Then what is it? They don't have "suki-suki" in the smilies box
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Old 04-25-2006, 12:53 PM   #59
Michael Douglas
Join Date: Mar 2006
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Re: So I kotegaishi'd my girlfriend...

Dumb.
Wrestle gently, don't hurt her.
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Old 04-25-2006, 02:26 PM   #60
Suwariwazaman
Dojo: Aikido of Cincinnati
Location: Cincinnati
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Re: So I kotegaishi'd my girlfriend...

No Richard I wasnt laughing at the original post, Sorry if you thought that. I mess with my friends all the time. I am very careful usually, but that was a irregular occurance. I was just pointing out aikido is effective! yeh! I hope his girlfriend is o.k.! I thought it was one of those HA! HA! Gottcha playing around things, if I'm right. But flowers or a dinner is good idea! happy Aiki!!!
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Old 04-25-2006, 02:52 PM   #61
Ivan Sekularac
Dojo: Aikido Yoshinkai Canada
Location: Toronto, Canada
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 15
Canada
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Re: So I kotegaishi'd my girlfriend...

It is always the same when someone asks you to show them waht is Aikido.

They want you to show them how it works but it is not karate or boxing so you cannot do it 'in the air' you need a partner... trouble is when you try it on them if you go too softly they would be like"I don't feel a thing, it doesn't work" but if you really do it they scream in pain and get angry.

Some people would accept 'soft' demonstration and be happy with it but some will demand for you to do it 'hard'... I would and afterwords I would tell them:"You aked to see what it is, didn't you?"
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Old 04-26-2006, 02:17 AM   #62
Josh Reyer
 
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Re: So I kotegaishi'd my girlfriend...

Quote:
Saw Y. C. Naw wrote:
Then what is it? They don't have "suki-suki" in the smilies box


Click on the character for more information...

Josh Reyer

The lyf so short, the crafte so longe to lerne,
Th'assay so harde, so sharpe the conquerynge...
- Chaucer
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Old 04-26-2006, 03:07 AM   #63
Mark Freeman
Dojo: Dartington
Location: Devon
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,219
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Re: So I kotegaishi'd my girlfriend...

Quote:
Xu Wenfung wrote:
So I grappled with my wife in bed last Sunday for the remote control. She won naturally. I have never win at grappling with her before. If I won, it would again be another case of winning the battle, but losing the war... if you guys catch my drift.
Yes Xu I do catch your drift, but my curiosity is - you are in bed, what needs a remote control ?

Success is having what you want. Happiness is wanting what you have.
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Old 04-26-2006, 10:22 AM   #64
NixNa
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 65
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Re: So I kotegaishi'd my girlfriend...

Quote:
Joshua Reyer wrote:


Click on the character for more information...
Thats right, love baby love woo hoo! NEVER use ur gf as rag doll, i know it tooooo well.. too well..
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