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Old 06-12-2006, 12:56 PM   #26
AESBird
Dojo: Ferndown
Location: Dorset
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

- You trip over your big toe on the mats

There is an art to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
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Old 06-12-2006, 01:05 PM   #27
aikispike
Dojo: Yoshinkan
Location: Toronto
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

... uke doesn't know how to attack properly

... you split the backside out of your dogi pants, and are dressed "japanese" style.

...uke farts.

--
Michael Kimeda
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Old 06-12-2006, 02:22 PM   #28
Eric Webber
Dojo: Aikido West Reading
Location: Reading, Pa
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

Stench Atemi!!!!!
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Old 06-12-2006, 05:09 PM   #29
Steve Mullen
Dojo: White Rose (Sunderland)
Location: Washington
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

your name is steve mullen and you are testing for 2nd kyu in september.........s**t im introuble

"No matter your pretence, you are what you are and nothing more." - Kenshiro Abbe Shihan
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Old 06-12-2006, 06:19 PM   #30
statisticool
Join Date: Apr 2006
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

Everyone is oiled up.

A secret of internal strength?:
"Let your weight from the crotch area BE in his hands."
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Old 06-12-2006, 09:26 PM   #31
Niamh Marie O'Leary-Liu
Dojo: Aikido of Ramapo Valley
Location: Massachusetts
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

uke, in a novel interpretation of the so-called touchless throw, suddenly becomes nage by blasting you in the face with a nasty wet sneeze at point-blank range. (This happened to me-- Eww!)

Speak softly and carry a big jo.
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Old 06-13-2006, 06:37 PM   #32
connie brown
Location: washington state
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

Aikido does not work at all when...

You stand there and politely tell your attacker, "Uh, could you please grab my wrist instead? I'm not familiar with that attack,"

Or, "Just hang on a minute while I run home and put on my gi. I'll come right back to this dark, deserted alley and be all ready to fight you."

Or, "Hey, I can't fight on concrete! My feet don't slide, and it's not padded like I'm used to!"

....But your attacker ignores you and rudely attacks before you're fully mentally prepared....he won't even bow before you begin.
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Old 06-14-2006, 02:04 AM   #33
Steve Mullen
Dojo: White Rose (Sunderland)
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

Quote:
Connie Brown wrote:
....But your attacker ignores you and rudely attacks before you're fully mentally prepared....he won't even bow before you begin.
Surely there are no people around who have such terrrible manners that they won't bow before beating you upside the head with a metal bar

"No matter your pretence, you are what you are and nothing more." - Kenshiro Abbe Shihan
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Old 06-14-2006, 08:59 AM   #34
Jimmy L
Join Date: May 2006
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Freaky! Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

Quote:
Gernot Hassenpflug wrote:
Aikido does not work at all when....

... the uke starts to put a judo technique on you
I'd second that owww!!
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Old 06-14-2006, 09:01 AM   #35
aikispike
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

Aikido does not work at all when
...uke has retractable adamantium claws

--
Michael Kimeda
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Old 06-14-2006, 12:15 PM   #36
Dajo251
Dojo: Aikido Downtown
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

Quote:
Michael Kimeda wrote:
Aikido does not work at all when
...uke has retractable adamantium claws
and an indestructable skeleton....

Dan Hulley
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Old 06-14-2006, 02:10 PM   #37
John Boswell
 
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

Aikido does not work at all when...

... you are one of the people that selects: "I do not do aikido." on Jun's polls.

...you don't do aikido for six months because of RL obligations.

...you are bound, gagged and blind-folded in the trunk of a car.

...you turn to the "Dark Side" of the Force and over-estimate your own powers.

...you spend all your time on Aiki-web. (Not that that's a bad thing! )

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Old 06-14-2006, 05:17 PM   #38
emma.mason15
Dojo: Shima Arashi Dojo
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

aikido does not work at all .....
if your names dory
if you cant remember anything ..... ever!
you actually dont do aikido ... but insist that shouting the names that you've learnt on aikiweb will sound impressive and be just as effective!
your having your stomach pumped.
your harry potter facing voldemort.
your being attacked by gandalf
your a pink flamingo.

Dance your cares away .... worry for another day ... let the music play .... down in fraggle rock!

when bored ... do as I do. Poke a patient!
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Old 06-14-2006, 09:12 PM   #39
xuzen
 
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

Quote:
Gernot Hassenpflug wrote:
Aikido does not work at all when....
... the uke starts to put a judo technique on you.
This is debatable...

Boon.

SHOMEN-ATE (TM), the solution to 90% of aikido and life's problems.
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Old 06-15-2006, 04:50 PM   #40
emma.mason15
Dojo: Shima Arashi Dojo
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

aikido does not work at all when ...
your attempting it on the amazing jelly man
your Ian beale (non uk-ers its a character in a british soap)
... i shall conjour more up whilst im beating .... er i mean tending to more patients

Dance your cares away .... worry for another day ... let the music play .... down in fraggle rock!

when bored ... do as I do. Poke a patient!
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Old 06-15-2006, 11:11 PM   #41
CNYMike
Location: Cortland, NY
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

Aikido does not work at all when .....

.... your uke keeps losing his/her grip on your wrist because you're sweaty

... you are the uke in the above situation

.... the dojo is so incredibly humid you get sick to your stomach five minutes into the class and have to rest more than you train.

.... you have the flu (at least I hope that's what it was; was the goo I coughed up yellow or green?) and can't train for ten days
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Old 06-16-2006, 08:05 AM   #42
billybob
 
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

...when -

...you are required to do kihon waza and uke thinks he is doing you a favor by bracing against the 'one correct way' you are currently required to do the technique.

dave
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Old 06-19-2006, 04:07 PM   #43
Mike Hamer
 
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

Aikido does not work at all if you dont go to practice!

Aikido does not work at all if you have a narrow mind.
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Old 06-20-2006, 09:46 AM   #44
Steve Mullen
Dojo: White Rose (Sunderland)
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

when you finish (what you thought was a brilliant rendition of) the 31 count jo kata, to find that everyone was watching, start to feel good about yourself and the admiration you receive from your peers, and then sensei says "that was nice, no one copy it mind, because it was wrong"

DAMN!

"No matter your pretence, you are what you are and nothing more." - Kenshiro Abbe Shihan
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Old 06-20-2006, 04:23 PM   #45
emma.mason15
Dojo: Shima Arashi Dojo
Location: Dorset (my luvvers! ohhhh arrrrr) uk
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

lmao .... bless ya! .....

Dance your cares away .... worry for another day ... let the music play .... down in fraggle rock!

when bored ... do as I do. Poke a patient!
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Old 06-20-2006, 08:32 PM   #46
Patrick
Dojo: Mississippi State Universty Aikido
Location: Mississippi
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 29
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

your gi pants come untied during randori.

Kendo is like star wars and everyone gets to be Darth Vader.
"Luke, I am your sensei"
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Old 06-22-2006, 05:38 PM   #47
samurai_kenshin
 
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

aikido does not work at all when you're going commando under your hakama and that randori gets a little...shall we say exhileratng...

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
-Barry LePatner
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Old 06-22-2006, 07:36 PM   #48
TigerJK
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

Aikido does not work when - your sensei is uke
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Old 06-22-2006, 07:50 PM   #49
Karen Wolek
Dojo: Kingston Aikido
Location: New York
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

Quote:
James Ko wrote:
Aikido does not work when - your sensei is uke
LOL! I was gonna say that!!!!! Everything seems to be going along swimmingly, then sensei comes over and grabs.

Oof.

Damn.

Karen
"Try not. Do...or do not. There is no try." - Master Yoda
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Old 06-22-2006, 10:34 PM   #50
TigerJK
Join Date: May 2006
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Re: Aikido does not work at all when........

lol I can never get any technique to work on sensei if he doesn't feel like allowing me to - he always finds the most minute error in my technique!

it's as if he has to pin or throw himself down, and then it's more of a one man aikido thing and I'm just on his arm for the ride lol
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