Training 20+ Years (or longer) question

Hi there --

As I posted on an earlier thread, after training pretty consistently for 3.5 years, I've stopped/started/stopped to only recently start again. So far I am having a blast but wanted to pose a question.

So many of you with 20+ years of experience must have had to deal with starting a family (I have a one-year old, and am 37 years old), raising a child, and negotiating with your spouse for training time. I've always been a runner and that is relatively easy to maintain (I can always grab 30 minutes and knock out four miles but Aikido classes are much different (factoring in drive time, class, shooting the breeze) I can easily be gone 3 hours.

What were some of the ground rules various parents used to continue training? Did you trade off days between each other so everyone could do something away from home? Did you limit to one day only and if so, how did that impact your overall skill-level and development? Lastly, a major question I am wrestling with is training and recovery. My son wakes me up in the middle of the night repeatedly after I've done a day speed tempo training and my body takes at least an extra or two extra days to recover. How did your bodies recover after training and limited sleeping due to crying,colicky, sick babies.

I hope I didn't go on too long, I just want to maximize my training time and preserve peace and harmony on the home front.

Get to the dojo when you can. Go through everything you have learned at home everyday. If you wake up at 3am, go outside and practice under the stars - it feels great!

Hi Terry,
I had less guilt that I might have because my son and I did aikido together. We started when he was 5. But then I had another child and I had more to balance in the equation. A dojo mate had a good compromise--train once a week one week, then twice a week the next. When you're at the dojo, really be present. When you're home, really be present there. It's hard to be torn, I know.

Once my daughter got older, I taught the children's class, so I got to do aikido with both my children. Also, I was really lucky to have an extremely supportive spouse, but of course I returned the favor so he had time to do the things he loved, too. We both wanted time with the family, with our kids, with each other, and with our own activities. Managing all that takes negotiation and unselfishness, but with good communication you can manage all of the above.

I see a couple in our dojo. They have young kids and they both want to train. They trade off nights and once in a while they get a sitter so they can train together. They make a night of it and go for a nice dinner afterward. Good luck! Your baby is going to grow up so fast. My 5 year old aikidoka turns 28 in less than 2 months.
Susan

Onegaishimasu, I usually tell new students that have families that if they just train once a week, they can slowly build up a practice. Practice should make you a better person, not worse!
In gassho,
Mark

Ron and I raised a family of four while training 4 to 5 times a week and teaching anywhere we could. It is very beneficial to have the same interests. ;O)