Aiki Redneck

Gerard Miller wrote: If going to a seminar is a chance to meet Woman.

*single woman raising hand here* Any single, straight man who is a dedicated aikidoka is INSTANTLY more intriguing and attractive just by virtue of his being an aikidoka. Furthermore, it says a lot about a man if he can find merit in a no-make-up, hair-flying-wild, redfaced, sweating woman who has no compunction with throwing him across the mats. Personally, the girlie part of me swoons a little over a man who will throw me hard (read: not hold back at all on technique just because I'm female) BUT will a) offer a hand to lift me up if I haven't yet bounced back up on my own and b) hold the dojo door for me. Tough chics still like to be acknowledged as women. (OK, so the fact I grew up in the South is probably pretty obvious by now.)

And, really, it all boils down to the fact that you can tell A LOT about a man by how he treats his uke.

You might be an aiki-redneck if while watching A-Team reruns:
a) During the fight sequences, you keep pondering how much better certain aikido techniques would've worked during "A-Team Randori"
b) After much pondering, decide that Murdock probably would've been the finest aikidoka of the 4.

Eric Webber wrote: If your solution to every problem is to say, "grab my wrist," you might be an aiki redneck.

Y'all, this is proof of an aiki-redneck's greater refinement --- better "grab my wrist" than "pull my finger".

Rigel Keffer wrote: You might be an aiki-redneck if while watching A-Team reruns: a) During the fight sequences, you keep pondering how much better certain aikido techniques would've worked during "A-Team Randori" b) After much pondering, decide that Murdock probably would've been the finest aikidoka of the 4.

I am soo ashamed right now!
but you have to admit that he would have though!

Rigel Keffer wrote: Y'all, this is proof of an aiki-redneck's greater refinement --- better "grab my wrist" than "pull my finger".

Nothing wrong with some stench atemi in the right company

Maybe not aiki, but definitely redneck.

Ricky Wood wrote: Maybe not aiki, but definitely redneck.

AMAZING!!!! why have I been wasting my time with aikido? finally a martial that you can practice in tight jeans

You might be an aiki-redneck if:

--You're just plumb tired of explaining to your buddies that your hakama is NOT a *^#&@!*$%0&#* skirt already!!!!

--Your ukemi is smoother than deer guts on the shed floor, I tell you what!

--You keep your good bokken on the gunrack in the back window of your Ford F150 and your spare bokken un'ner your bed, jes' in case.

--You've perfected a "no-touch" throw using beer-belch-waza and you're fixin' to use it alright, next time Bubba comments on your skirt.

Gerard Miller wrote: If you have a tee shirt from every seminar you have ever been to. (raises hand)

Not every seminar, altough I got one from Montreal and one from Woodstock. Hmmmm, doesn't look good.

You migh be an Aiki-redneck if.....

.... your first Jo was a dowel you bought at a home improvement store.

.... you retired said jo because you used it three times last year and on two occassions you fet like splinters were going into your palm when you did a thrust.

.... you ever practiced sword forms in your back yard at 11 PM wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

Rigel Keffer wrote: *single woman raising hand here* Any single, straight man who is a dedicated aikidoka is INSTANTLY more intriguing and attractive just by virtue of his being an aikidoka. Furthermore, it says a lot about a man if he can find merit in a no-make-up, hair-flying-wild, redfaced, sweating woman who has no compunction with throwing him across the mats. Personally, the girlie part of me swoons a little over a man who will throw me hard (read: not hold back at all on technique just because I'm female) BUT will a) offer a hand to lift me up if I haven't yet bounced back up on my own and b) hold the dojo door for me. Tough chics still like to be acknowledged as women. (OK, so the fact I grew up in the South is probably pretty obvious by now.) And, really, it all boils down to the fact that you can tell A LOT about a man by how he treats his uke. You might be an aiki-redneck if while watching A-Team reruns: a) During the fight sequences, you keep pondering how much better certain aikido techniques would've worked during "A-Team Randori" b) After much pondering, decide that Murdock probably would've been the finest aikidoka of the 4.

i'm not currently single but i am SO with you on the first part, any guy who's still interested at the end of class is either Really worth a go or blind and as tough as old boots soaked in river mud.

not quite aiki red neck but, while watching a film that usually results in a major geek out you sit and count the aikido techniques you see

John Matsushima wrote: If in your way of explaining how to do REAL kokyu you say "pull my finger"

Reminds me of that BJJ guy that came to play with us. He got an arm lock on me but I got out by wrapping my legs around his head and pulling his nose into my butt before letting go with a long wet one. We all had a good laugh as he ran out of the dojo yelling that we didn't fight fair and that I was an asshole. I replied that he was obviously right.

Rock

If you have a hakama made from fabric featuring your favorite college team logo on it (GO Buffs!)...

If you wear a bandana do-rag like the Hulk-ster to keep the sweat outta yer eyes...

If you tied yer belt and then cut the "extra" off...

If you came to aikido to learn how do better in a bar brawl...

If you compare ANY (and I mean any) technique to one of the following: GRAPEVINE, TWO STEP, LINE DANCE, BOOT-SCOOTN BOOGIE

If you ever thought koshi load-ups/throws might be good practice for ridin' the mechanical bull...

If you are such a gentleman that you catch a female uke so she doesn't fall (Yes, ladies this happened to me lately)...

If you ever try to help explain what aikido is with the words "kinda like wrastlin'"...

If you've ever tried to get a big a$$ belt buckle on your obi...

If you've every compared a hakama to a baggy pair of chaps...

If your kiai sounds at all like a "yee-haw" or "hi-y'all"...

If you dojo featurs a chillin's class...

Okay I'm making myself stop now....

You might be an aiki redneck if...

...you wear torn jeans under your hakama to a seminar.
...you answer your cell phone while sitting on the mat during a demonstration at said seminar to arrange the next job for your excavating business, loudly.
...you wear worn out wrasslin' shoes onto the mat with your hakama also at said seminar.
...you paint "akido" on the side of an out of business fast food restaurant and call it your "dojoe."

(the above really happened, all with the same guy...no kidding...)

You might also be an aiki redneck if...

...you've dyed your hakama in a cool camo pattern.
...you keep a spit cup just off the mat.
...you intently read the old aikiweb thread debating braid vs ponytail vs pigtails as the best way to tie up long hair in keiko because your mullet/rat tail keeps getting tromped on.
....you think you've heard aikido terms all your life...for instance
- "thar's sumthin in ma ai"
- "hanmi that thar bowkin"

Lan Powers wrote: If you (like me) have spent more on the gear you train with, than the car you haul it to the dojo in...

17 year old Saturn, totaled twice before I bought it and nearing 300,000 miles. When I fill the tank and top off the oil, the book value doubles.

Robert Jackson wrote: Just to get going a bit more here's some more for ya... 3. If you've ever refered to your joe as the "anti-sum-bi@@@ stick"... you might be an aiki redneck 4. If you've ever said "my joe is bigger then yours"... you might be an aiki redneck 5. if you've ever pronouced kotegashie "koto goshe" OR Mune Tsuki "moon-a-suky"... you might be an aiki redneck 6. If you've ever practice solo in a mall\supermarket\office and caused people to give you funny looks... you might be an aiki redneck

Dear Robert,
Who is this guy Joe in item 3/4? Cheers, Joe.Shucks I guess you mean that long stick like thingy we all twirl around and try and bash each others heads in with??

Oh dear...