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09-13-2007, 12:53 AM
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#1
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Dojo: Aikido Yuiskinkai, Bald Hills
Location: Bray Park, Brisbane
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 11
Offline
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Lost
Hi All
I'm looking for advice. I stopped training about 6 months ago. I didn't really make a decision to stop training I just haven't been back to the dojo since my last lesson.
I'd like to return because I enjoyed training but when I think about going back I become full of mixed emotions.
Largely I'm nervous about returning without notice or a valid reason for my absence. I feel almost ashamed. As a result of these feeling my motivation to go back is declining and I feel somewhat lost.
Suggestions and advice will be gratefully received.
Thanks.
SamuraiJim
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09-13-2007, 01:28 AM
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#2
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Dojo: Seiwa Dojo and Southside Dojo
Location: Battle Creek & Kalamazoo, MI
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 1,677
Offline
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Re: Lost
Hi JIm,
I went through something similar recently. I did go back and was met with warmth and kindness. I wasn't made to feel guilty, the folks at the dojo were just glad to see me back.
It's not much in the way of advice but I thought I'd share my experience.
Best,
Bronson
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"A pacifist is not really a pacifist if he is unable to make a choice between violence and non-violence. A true pacifist is able to kill or maim in the blink of an eye, but at the moment of impending destruction of the enemy he chooses non-violence."
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09-13-2007, 01:54 AM
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#3
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Location: Auckland
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 971
Offline
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Re: Lost
This is very common - your dojo mates have seen it before and will see it again so will I'm sure be nothing but accepting and welcoming when you return. It's always great to see someone you thought you'd lost walk through the door. Most likely most of the seniors on the mat have been through a similar stint themselves. You don't need to have an "excuse" prepared - just get back on the mat.
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"When your only tool is a hammer every problem starts to look like a nail"
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09-13-2007, 06:56 AM
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#4
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Location: Florida Gulf coast
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 3,902
Offline
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Re: Lost
Very common, but seldom admitted and talked about.
Call your Sensei, tell them what you stated here, show up, suite up, shut up, and train.
Welcome back.
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Lynn Seiser PhD
Yondan Aikido & FMA/JKD
We do not rise to the level of our expectations, but fall to the level of our training. Train well. KWATZ!
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09-13-2007, 07:55 AM
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#5
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Location: Aichi-ken, Nagoya-shi
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 644
Offline
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Re: Lost
Ever hear of the prodigal son?
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Josh Reyer
The lyf so short, the crafte so longe to lerne,
Th'assay so harde, so sharpe the conquerynge...
- Chaucer
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09-13-2007, 08:59 AM
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#6
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Dojo: Oregon Ki Society
Location: Tigard, Oregon
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 269
Offline
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Re: Lost
Just go back and train. Simple as that. Thank them for welcoming you back.
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Plus Ki
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09-13-2007, 09:35 AM
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#7
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Dojo: Aiki Kurabu
Location: Elizabethtown, PA
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,110
Offline
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Re: Lost
As most have already said, this common - just go and train if that is what you want to do; you will be accepted.
Best
Greg
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09-13-2007, 10:12 AM
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#8
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Location: Orlando, FL
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,502
Offline
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Re: Lost
You want to go back... This alone puts you head and shoulders above those who don't. I think you're worrying needlessly.
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09-13-2007, 11:38 AM
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#9
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Dojo: Kingston Aikido
Location: New York
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 322
Offline
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Re: Lost
Just go back. That's all there is to it.
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Karen
"Try not. Do...or do not. There is no try." - Master Yoda
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09-13-2007, 11:56 AM
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#10
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Location: St. Louis, MO
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 179
Offline
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Re: Lost
As everyone else has already said: just go back. You didn't burn any bridges and you weren't asked to leave. You just have to get over your own lingering embarrassment/shame/guilt/whatever. Just make sure your returning is because you want to. Most martial arts instructors understand that life often gets in the way of training, so don't worry about it too much. They'll most likely be glad to see you resume training.
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09-13-2007, 12:26 PM
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#11
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Location: Massachusetts
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,202
Offline
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Re: Lost
As others have said, it's a common phenomenon for people to drift away without a real solid reason. If you just go back and resume training with a sincere attitude, I doubt that there will be an issue. The only place where I could see an issue in cases like this is if you're ambivalent about being there, and are expecting someone at the dojo to convince you. They won't try to, because they know that if you need to be sold, it probably won't work/last. On the flipside, you really don't need any great big significant reason or goal to be there. If you just want to train, that's really all that's needed.
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09-13-2007, 02:41 PM
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#12
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Dojo: West Wind Dojo Santa Monica California
Location: Malibu, California
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,295
Offline
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Re: Lost
As a beginner it's easier to act your way in to right thinking than to think your way into right action...
Take your Body to Class... put a smile on your face.... and your worst fears will melt away...
William Hazen
We all take breaks from training.
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09-13-2007, 04:55 PM
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#13
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Dojo: Aikido Yuiskinkai, Bald Hills
Location: Bray Park, Brisbane
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 11
Offline
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Re: Lost
THANK YOU SO MUCH, EVERYONE!!!
This showing of support is overwhelming. This has certainly reduced my concerns and I feel very confident that I can return to training once again.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!
Cheers
SamuraiJim
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09-13-2007, 05:13 PM
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#14
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Dojo: Tsubaki Kannagara Jinja Aikidojo; Himeji Shodokan Dojo
Location: Renton
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,276
Offline
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Re: Lost
Quote:
James Cantwell wrote:
Hi All
I'm looking for advice. I stopped training about 6 months ago. I didn't really make a decision to stop training I just haven't been back to the dojo since my last lesson.
I'd like to return because I enjoyed training but when I think about going back I become full of mixed emotions.
Largely I'm nervous about returning without notice or a valid reason for my absence. I feel almost ashamed. As a result of these feeling my motivation to go back is declining and I feel somewhat lost.
Suggestions and advice will be gratefully received.
Thanks.
SamuraiJim
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Jim,
I also know that feeling. If nothing else it's a good chance to face your own fears. If you want to train, do so and enjoy the experience!
Good luck!
Matt
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Gambarimashyo!
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09-13-2007, 05:40 PM
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#15
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Location: Summerholm, Queensland
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,126
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Re: Lost
I agree. You need to get yourself off the island and find The Others.
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Ignatius
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09-13-2007, 07:06 PM
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#16
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Dojo: Aikido of Midland
Location: Midland Texas
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 1,652
Offline
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Re: Lost
As pointed out life sometimes just gets in the way. Most of your dojo mates have seen this many times before. Sometimes people drop out for years and then just return.
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09-13-2007, 08:58 PM
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#17
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Dojo: Kokikai Aikido Boston
Location: Boston
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 121
Offline
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Re: Lost
I think once you are out for awhile you start to lose momentum, and it gets harder and harder to come back. I don't think you need to give anyone an explanation. I think everyone will be really glad to see you back. People don't leave and then return that often from what I've seen. Give it a shot!
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09-13-2007, 09:52 PM
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#18
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Dojo: Kokikai Hombu Shushinkan Dojo, Nagoya
Location: Nagoya, Japan
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 64
Offline
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Re: Lost
I agree with Heather. Just go back and I am sure you will be warmly welcomed. Good luck!
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09-13-2007, 10:12 PM
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#19
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Location: Orlando, FL
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,502
Offline
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Re: Lost
And don't forget to come back here, and let us know how it's going.
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