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Old 01-15-2012, 08:40 PM   #26
Lyle Laizure
 
Lyle Laizure's Avatar
Dojo: Hinode Dojo LLC
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 566
United_States
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Re: Do Senseis Usually Not Want Parents Around During Class?

Quote:
George Donnelly wrote: View Post
he suggested I no longer hang around during the class but instead drop my 5 y/o son off and come back at the end.
RED FLAG! Providing you are not a disruption to the class, as in you are teaching from the sidelines or interacting with your youngen during practice time you being there, watching should not be an issue.

Quote:
George Donnelly wrote: View Post
Today was the first day of aikido for the year after a month's vacation. Sensei, whom I respect very much, was harsher than normal with the kids.
I assume that when you say harsh you are refering to how the instructor speaks to the children offering verbal discipline. Discipline is important for children but how you discipline is more important. This is something you need to look inwardly to answer. I have certainly seen several childrens' classes where I would never, let me repeat that, NEVER, train because the instructors speak to the children very rude and are very disrespectful to the children. How the parents that are watching allow them to continue is beyond me.

Lyle Laizure
www.hinodedojo.com
Deru kugi wa uta reru
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Old 01-16-2012, 03:11 AM   #27
philipsmith
Dojo: Ren Shin Kan
Location: Birmingham
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 362
United Kingdom
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Re: Do Senseis Usually Not Want Parents Around During Class?

Quote:
George Donnelly wrote: View Post
My son confessed that he feels scared all the time in the class so we're looking for a new dojo, hopefully with specific beginners classes. Thanks everyone.
Lots of warning bells going off in my head now.

It maybe only your son who is scared but I honestly doubt that. It might be worth finding out if other kids feel the same and do their parents know. How far you take the matter is of course then up to you as a group.

However in my opinion (and based only on your comments) there is a possibility of at least bullying going on here.
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Old 01-16-2012, 03:30 AM   #28
Hanna B
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 647
Sweden
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Re: Do Senseis Usually Not Want Parents Around During Class?

Quote:
George Donnelly wrote: View Post
My son confessed that he feels scared all the time in the class so we're looking for a new dojo, hopefully with specific beginners classes. Thanks everyone.
Sounds like the right decision to leave.

I don't know of any dojos (around here) that have specific beginner classes for kids. The concensus is that it is better to devide the kids in groups according to age than according to level - one dojo has four different age groups for kids, including one for young teenagers. And I don't necessarily agree that specific beginners classes is the clue to beginner friendly training. The most beginner-friendly dojo I know of doesn't have beginner classes for adults either but "basics classes", populated by people who train their first second and third term but also by others, including black belts polishing on their basics. Beginner training with beginner easily learn bad habits. Training with a black belt every now and then can be an incredible help. And no, they don't find it a bore. If they do, they don't go to basics classes (or they don't train at this dojo)...

But finding a more beginner friendly dojo sounds like the right decision for both of you. (If your son wants to continue doing aikido.) Perhaps looking at a beginner class and check if the atmosphere is relaxed or tense is a good start to evaluating the next possible dojo.
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Old 01-16-2012, 11:45 AM   #29
RED
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 909
United_States
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Re: Do Senseis Usually Not Want Parents Around During Class?

I wouldn't leave my children alone with a Sensei that I barely knew, especially one I just met. I've known my instructors for years, and have a good relationship with my Sensei and instructors in and out of the dojo, so I naturally would trust them alone a child. But there is a good dojo community where i train. However, if there wasn't a good dojo community and I barely knew my Sensei on any personal level I'd have reservations leaving them alone with them.
I think parents need to be encouraged to be active participants in their kid's extra-circular activities. At the very least it helps cultivate that dojo community I think is important.

MM
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Old 01-16-2012, 12:51 PM   #30
GeorgeDonnelly
Location: Medellin
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 13
Colombia
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Re: Do Senseis Usually Not Want Parents Around During Class?

After I told sensei that we were both withdrawing, he asked me to chat with him. I did. It was a good talk. He mentioned that he was reflecting on the class where my complaint originated from. After a long talk, he asked me if my son wanted to give it another try. He did. We're both back in classes there now and I am watching class from a spot where I can see and hear what's going on but there is little to no risk my son will be distracted by my presence. Sensei was considerably more relaxed in the class and I think we're back on track.

Thanks again everyone.
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Old 01-21-2012, 08:02 PM   #31
LinTal
Dojo: Aikido Terrey Hills
Location: Sydney
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 120
Australia
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Re: Do Senseis Usually Not Want Parents Around During Class?

That's really great to hear.

But.

Is the situation fixed now, or just glossed over? It seems as if he's applied a bandaid to the situation by making himself act more rationally.

The world changes when you do.
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Old 01-23-2012, 03:20 PM   #32
RuteMendes
Dojo: Dramático de Cascais
Location: Lisbon
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 29
Portugal
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Re: Do Senseis Usually Not Want Parents Around During Class?

Follow your instincts That's very important!
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Old 02-08-2012, 12:31 AM   #33
jlbrewer
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 30
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Re: Do Senseis Usually Not Want Parents Around During Class?

For what it's worth, our weekend kids class (which is held right before the adult class) has been a pretty good supplier of adult white belts lately.

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