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08-15-2006, 09:10 PM
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#1
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Dojo: seishinkan
Location: Texas City.
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 133
Offline
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Aiki Redneck
Something happened in class that made want to post this thread... Surely we can apply redneck jokes to aikido! here's two to begin with.
1. If you bokken is held together with duct tape... you might be an aiki redneck.
2. If you show up in class with in your gi and cowboy boots... you might be an aiki redneck.
Ok any others you can think of?
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I put my right foot in, I put my left foot out, I do the Aikipokey and throw you all about
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08-15-2006, 09:59 PM
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#2
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Dojo: seishinkan
Location: Texas City.
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 133
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
Just to get going a bit more here's some more for ya...
3. If you've ever refered to your joe as the "anti-sum-bi@@@ stick"... you might be an aiki redneck
4. If you've ever said "my joe is bigger then yours"... you might be an aiki redneck
5. if you've ever pronouced kotegashie "koto goshe" OR Mune Tsuki "moon-a-suky"... you might be an aiki redneck
6. If you've ever practice solo in a mall\supermarket\office and caused people to give you funny looks... you might be an aiki redneck
Last edited by Robert Jackson : 08-15-2006 at 10:03 PM.
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I put my right foot in, I put my left foot out, I do the Aikipokey and throw you all about
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08-15-2006, 11:31 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 375
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Re: Aiki Redneck
no. 6 reminds me of one of my brother's friends who would do tae kwon do stretches everytime he meets someone in a department store. The funny thing is he continues doing them after you have walked away... Still probably not as extreme as a friend's classmate who wore 4kg ankle weights (very bulky) everytime he goes out with his friends.
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08-16-2006, 08:58 AM
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#4
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Dojo: Aikido of Midland, Midland TX
Location: Midland Tx
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 660
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
If you (like me) have spent more on the gear you train with, than the car you haul it to the dojo in...
you might be an aiki-redneck
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Play nice, practice hard, but remember, this is a MARTIAL art!
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08-16-2006, 09:01 AM
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#5
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Dojo: Aikido of Midland, Midland TX
Location: Midland Tx
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 660
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
If your private mental terminology for aikido terms includes "Fling-downs, and Crunchers"
Yew mite be uh reyed-nekk.
Welcome to Texas, Baybee!
Lan
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Play nice, practice hard, but remember, this is a MARTIAL art!
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08-16-2006, 10:13 AM
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#6
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Dojo: Aikido West Reading
Location: Reading, Pa
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 261
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
If getting dressed up means wearing the hakama WITHOUT the patches on the knees, you might be an aiki redneck
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08-16-2006, 10:14 AM
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#7
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Dojo: Aikido West Reading
Location: Reading, Pa
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 261
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
If your solution to every problem is to say, "grab my wrist," you might be an aiki redneck.
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08-16-2006, 11:28 AM
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#8
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Location: Spring Tx
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 163
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Re: Aiki Redneck
If going to a seminar is a chance to meet Woman.
If you have a tee shirt from every seminar you have ever been to. (raises hand)
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Jerry Miller
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08-16-2006, 12:38 PM
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#9
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Location: Chicago, IL
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 432
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Re: Aiki Redneck
If that person says "look at me" while demonstrating a technique.
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Robert Cronin
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08-16-2006, 01:03 PM
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#10
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Dojo: Doshinkan dojo in Roxborough, Pa
Location: Phila. Pa
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,615
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
I loved that line from Chili Palmer...
Look at me...no...look at me...
B,
R
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Ron Tisdale
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"The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind."
St. Bonaventure (ca. 1221-1274)
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08-16-2006, 03:02 PM
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#11
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Dojo: Big Green Drum (W. Florida Aikikai)
Location: West Florida
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,619
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
If the last thing you remember from class was saying:
"Hey, y'all -- watch 'is!" ...
If your tsuba is what left of the duct tape roll after you wrap up the splinters on your bokken ...
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Cordially,
Erick Mead
一隻狗可久里馬房但他也不是馬的.
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08-16-2006, 03:32 PM
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#12
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Dojo: Aikido of Midland, Midland TX
Location: Midland Tx
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 660
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
Haaaa haaa *snort* sniffle....haaa ha !
Tsuba is the a$$hole of the tape roll..........owww my side..
Luv it
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Play nice, practice hard, but remember, this is a MARTIAL art!
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08-16-2006, 04:08 PM
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#13
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Dojo: Aikido of Ashland
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 395
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
Quote:
Robert Jackson wrote:
"my joe is bigger then yours"
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If you spell "jo" J-O-E... you might be an aiki redneck
*Paige*
sorry i couldn't resist lol
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08-16-2006, 04:18 PM
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#14
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Dojo: Big Green Drum (W. Florida Aikikai)
Location: West Florida
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,619
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
If you are asked by a dojo mate where to find an obi -- and you give him the number of your wife's gynecologist ...
If, when Sensei says at the beginning of class, "Onegaishimasu!" --
you say, "God bless you!" ...
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Cordially,
Erick Mead
一隻狗可久里馬房但他也不是馬的.
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08-16-2006, 07:32 PM
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#15
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Dojo: seishinkan
Location: Texas City.
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 133
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
Quote:
Paige Frazier wrote:
If you spell "jo" J-O-E... you might be an aiki redneck
*Paige*
sorry i couldn't resist lol
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I was waiting for someone to comment on that
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I put my right foot in, I put my left foot out, I do the Aikipokey and throw you all about
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08-16-2006, 08:37 PM
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#16
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Dojo: Aikido Shobukan Dojo
Location: Washington DC
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 10
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
If your dojo is held up with loose cinder blocks, you might be an Aiki Redneck.
If the dojo collapses and it kills more than three dogs, then you're definitely a Redneck.
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08-17-2006, 02:16 AM
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#17
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Dojo: Kiburn, London, UK
Location: London
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 899
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
Your picture of O sensei is a tasteful screen print done in genuine silver (style) on a black (synthetic) velvet canvas and your pure-breed pit bull/Yorkshire terrier guard dogs are named irimi and tenkan - you've really got problems
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08-17-2006, 04:48 AM
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#18
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,415
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
Quote:
Ian Hurst wrote:
and your pure-breed pit bull/Yorkshire terrier guard dogs are named irimi and tenkan - you've really got problems
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or you name your daughter Irimi and your son Tenkan.
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Go ahead, tread on me.
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08-17-2006, 05:35 AM
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#19
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Dojo: Dartington
Location: Devon
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,220
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
or you say to your wife/partner "grab my whatsit, I need a work out"
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Success is having what you want. Happiness is wanting what you have.
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08-17-2006, 07:23 AM
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#20
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Location: Rochester, NY
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 281
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
If you think of yudansha after seeing a holstein cow, you might be an aiki-redneck.
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08-17-2006, 01:59 PM
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#21
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Dojo: Aikido Downtown
Location: Rhode Island
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 262
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
Quote:
Erick Mead wrote:
If you are asked by a dojo mate where to find an obi -- and you give him the number of your wife's gynecologist ...
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ok that one made me laugh alot
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Dan Hulley
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08-22-2006, 03:40 AM
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#22
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Dojo: Dynamic Aikido Noquet Hartlepool England
Location: Hartlepool
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 88
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
if after doing mae ukemi you tip your stetson and spit on the ground and dust off your knees then godammit boy you is a redneck!
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08-22-2006, 03:42 AM
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#23
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Dojo: Dynamic Aikido Noquet Hartlepool England
Location: Hartlepool
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 88
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
if you like choke techniques because it brings out the colour in your neck then, yup, you's a redneck!
or if during ukemi from koshinage you shout yeehaaaw!! then you is defernatly a redneck boy!
Last edited by Lee Mulgrew : 08-22-2006 at 03:47 AM.
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08-22-2006, 06:36 AM
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#24
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Dojo: seishinkan
Location: Texas City.
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 133
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
Quote:
Lee Mulgrew wrote:
if during ukemi from koshinage you shout yeehaaaw!! then you is defernatly a redneck boy!
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lol I think I'm going to have to do this next time we do Koshi!
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I put my right foot in, I put my left foot out, I do the Aikipokey and throw you all about
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08-22-2006, 10:56 AM
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#25
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Dojo: Aikido of Midland
Location: Midland Texas
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 1,652
Offline
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Re: Aiki Redneck
If you practice high falls while galloping on a horse at full speed, you might be an aiki-redneck.
If you "have" to wear a hakama to hide your bowed legs you might be an aiki-redneck.
If your sensei constantly has to tell you stop walking like you have a cob up your a$$ you might be an aik-redneck.
I have actually heard someone use coat a gosh and moon a sooky and thought it was the correct way to pronounce it.
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