Welcome to AikiWeb Aikido Information
AikiWeb: The Source for Aikido Information
AikiWeb's principal purpose is to serve the Internet community as a repository and dissemination point for aikido information.

Sections
home
aikido articles
columns

Discussions
forums
aikiblogs

Databases
dojo search
seminars
image gallery
supplies
links directory

Reviews
book reviews
video reviews
dvd reviews
equip. reviews

News
submit
archive

Miscellaneous
newsletter
rss feeds
polls
about

Follow us on



Home > AikiWeb Aikido Forums
Go Back   AikiWeb Aikido Forums > Humor

Hello and thank you for visiting AikiWeb, the world's most active online Aikido community! This site is home to over 22,000 aikido practitioners from around the world and covers a wide range of aikido topics including techniques, philosophy, history, humor, beginner issues, the marketplace, and more.

If you wish to join in the discussions or use the other advanced features available, you will need to register first. Registration is absolutely free and takes only a few minutes to complete so sign up today!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-31-2006, 10:07 AM   #1
j0nharris
Dojo: Kododan Aikido USA
Location: Radford Virginia
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 201
United_States
Offline
24

Totall not aikido, but I had to laugh:
  • You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
  • If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
  • If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
  • Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
  • Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
  • Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
  • Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
  • 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
  • Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days. Wait, that is a real fact.
  • Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
  • Jack Bauer let the dogs out.
  • Superman wears Jack Bauer pyjamas.
  • Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
  • If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
  • Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
  • Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
  • Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
  • When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer f*#$@ hates lemonade.
  • When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
  • Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
  • The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.
  • Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
  • Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
  • People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
  • It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.
  • Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
  • Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why theres no life on Mars.
  • When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
  • Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better f*#@ do it.

jon harris

Life is a journey...
Now, who took my @#$%! map?!
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2006, 01:47 PM   #2
Simbo
Location: Carbondale
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 58
United_States
Offline
Re: 24

You can keep your Jack Bauer, I'll stay on the winning side, Chuck Norris!

http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9464
  Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2006, 03:37 AM   #3
Lee Mulgrew
Dojo: Dynamic Aikido Noquet Hartlepool England
Location: Hartlepool
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 88
United Kingdom
Offline
Re: 24

No! it's got to be Jack Bauer, don't you realise that Jack has probably already got chloe to tap into your'e computer and find out what you have just written!? he'll come round your house and torture you until you tell him the location of Chuck Norris (this will take approx: 4hrs). he will then spend the next 19 hours of the day tracking him down (never going to the toilet! unless thats why they have ad breaks ) and then kicking his ass for an hour; that would be soooo cool to watch!
Oh no! I know too much! help!!!!

p.s. you know that scene on full metal jacket where he screams let me see your war face? well, drill seargents actually say let me see your Bauer face (but they only say to them once! )

Last edited by Lee Mulgrew : 02-02-2006 at 03:42 AM.
  Reply With Quote

Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:12 AM.



vBulletin Copyright © 2000-2024 Jelsoft Enterprises Limited
----------
Copyright 1997-2024 AikiWeb and its Authors, All Rights Reserved.
----------
For questions and comments about this website:
Send E-mail
plainlaid-picaresque outchasing-protistan explicantia-altarage seaford-stellionate