Welcome to AikiWeb Aikido Information
AikiWeb: The Source for Aikido Information
AikiWeb's principal purpose is to serve the Internet community as a repository and dissemination point for aikido information.

Sections
home
aikido articles
columns

Discussions
forums
aikiblogs

Databases
dojo search
seminars
image gallery
supplies
links directory

Reviews
book reviews
video reviews
dvd reviews
equip. reviews

News
submit
archive

Miscellaneous
newsletter
rss feeds
polls
about

Follow us on



Home > AikiWeb Aikido Forums
Go Back   AikiWeb Aikido Forums > Humor

Hello and thank you for visiting AikiWeb, the world's most active online Aikido community! This site is home to over 22,000 aikido practitioners from around the world and covers a wide range of aikido topics including techniques, philosophy, history, humor, beginner issues, the marketplace, and more.

If you wish to join in the discussions or use the other advanced features available, you will need to register first. Registration is absolutely free and takes only a few minutes to complete so sign up today!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-03-2004, 08:49 PM   #1
xuzen
 
xuzen's Avatar
Dojo: None at the moment - on hiatus
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 965
Malaysia
Offline
More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Following Zatoichi's brilliant parody of aikidoka and their alignment...

Shodokan aka Shodothug
General description:
Quote:
Generally thuggish. Full of resistant. Very atheltic will charge around like teenage kid running on full hormone load. Hard to keep them down. Takes a strong Goon to keep them down. Fruities and Elves will have a hard time pinning them.
Weapon of choice:
Quote:
Prefer Tanto or any short wooden stick.
Favourite quote:
Quote:
Hakama? I ain't no need no stinkin' hakama.
Yoshinkan aka Evil Aikidoka, Yoshingoons or YoshiOrc
General Description:
Quote:
Has sadistic and evil tendencies. Derive pleasure from pain of others and even their own kind. Their chief thinks pain makes them strong.
Weopon of choice:
Quote:
Usually barehanded as their training toughens their limbs considerably. But when push come to shove they will resort to using Bokken and Jo. Although not as adept as the Fruits and Elves, but they can also do considerable damage esp to Newbie Fruits and Elves.
Favourite quote:
Quote:
Ki? Ki are for Sissies
Ki Society aka Aiki-fruity
General Description:
Quote:
Looks weak to an untrained eyes. But don't let their physique fool you. Their special attack will pulverize and any Goons or Thugs esp those executed by their elders. Their most infamous attack is the "Smiley Attack". Their beautiful and gleaming and serene smile will freeze Goons, Thugs or Elves on its track. Other noted attacks are the "Ki Fireballs" attack. By concentrating their Ki energy, they can project and hit an opponent without ever touching them and send them 15 feet back.
Weapon of choice:
Quote:
Moderate knowledge of using weapon. This is because they rely on their Ki attacks. Young padawans are taught from young on how to use their mind to control their opponents
Favourite quote:
Quote:
Ki is the mastery of the universe
Hombu aka Aiki-Elves
General Description:
Quote:
Most beautiful of all the subspecies of aikidoka. Agile, Fluid and Grace are words that are usually associated with the Elves. Most flexible of the lot too. It takes considerable skill to successfully pin an Elves for their can slither away from your grab like slippery serpents.
Weapon of choice:
Quote:
This subspecies of aikidoka are most adept with weapons esp with Jo and Bokken. Weaponship starts young. That which is lack in physiques is make up by their skill with weapons.
Favourite quote:
Quote:
None
Yoseikan
General description:
Quote:
Little is know about this subspecies. The author can only postulate that maybe their number is too small to make their presence felt. However what is known is their skills are derived from infusion with other foreign style. Some elders think that some alien technology such as Karate and Judo are adopted to enhance their combat ability
Weapon of choice:
Quote:
Not known at time of print
Favourite quote:
Quote:
Not known at time of print
Daitoryu Aikijutsu
General Description:
Quote:
Rumour has it that this is the ancient form of aikido that once our common ancestors evolve from.However currently they are not consider mainstream aikidoka and no more will be mention of them
Weapon of choice:
Quote:
Jo, Katana, Yari and most ancient weapons
Favourite quote:
Quote:
Not known at time of print
This is the current compilation of the subspecies of aikidokas and is too thebest knowledge of the author.

Boon.

SHOMEN-ATE (TM), the solution to 90% of aikido and life's problems.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-2004, 09:22 PM   #2
Joezer M.
 
Joezer M.'s Avatar
Location: Indonesia
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 54
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

I guess introductions are in order, no?
OK, let me start...
I'm a 3rd level, chaotic good Aiki-elf, my main attribute is Dexter... errr.... Weight...
I already have the 'Hold my Wrist' feat...

Quote:
Grab My Wrist: any creature who grabs the aikidoka's wrist will take double damage from the aikidoka's attacks as long as they are in contact.
and now I'm trying to get that last bit of experience to level up...

Hey, that was fun!


Regards,

I AM in shape... Round is a shape...
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-2004, 11:31 PM   #3
maikerus
Dojo: Roppongi Yoshinkan Aikido / Roppongi, Tokyo, Japan
Location: Tokyo
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 571
Japan
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

This is hilarious. I can see it now...the evolution of modern Aikido into a Role Playing Game. No longer will it be "Grab my wrist" but "Roll my die!"

On the bright side, this will certainly cut down on the costs of dojo space and mats and even those hakama thingies. Think of the space we'll save when all we have to do is crouch down in small candlelit room and toss a die or two while the sage Sensei looks on and passes judgement in the flckering light based on archane lists that only they understand.

The only worry I have is whether the pain will feel as real when it's written down with numbers and jotted on a scorecard. Is paper pain the same as training pain? What about mat burn? How will we be able to enjoy that? and what about having your sweaty face pushed into the hairs on the tatami - will we have to give that up? Without real, physical pain how will become stronger? Will mental pain suffice? How will we enjoy injuries?

Twenty years from now we might be whining about how in the good ol' days we actually did Aikido on tatami! and how that made us strong. And how we enjoyed the pain...not like the fake pain we get from a number on a scorecard.

Anyway...I have to go. Now where did I leave my key? <looking around frantically>

--Michael, YoshiOrc

Last edited by maikerus : 12-03-2004 at 11:35 PM.

Hiriki no yosei 3 - The kihon that makes your head ache instead of your legs
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2004, 02:03 AM   #4
batemanb
 
batemanb's Avatar
Dojo: Seibukan Aikido UK
Location: body in UK, heart still in Japan
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 1,031
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Hey Boon

Where do the Iwama guys fit into this ?

A difficult problem is easily solved by asking yourself the question, "Just how would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2004, 02:24 AM   #5
xuzen
 
xuzen's Avatar
Dojo: None at the moment - on hiatus
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 965
Malaysia
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

I thought Iwama is the same as Aikikai? Sorry will try to come up with something. Any thoughts?

SHOMEN-ATE (TM), the solution to 90% of aikido and life's problems.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2004, 02:49 AM   #6
p00kiethebear
 
p00kiethebear's Avatar
Dojo: Tonbo Dojo
Location: Bainbridge Island WA
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 374
United_States
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

At last, a way to get all my lazy nerd friends into aikido.

Elf, chaotic good
Level: 3

HP: 12

Strength. 16 (+1 to hit and damage)
Intelligence. 10
Charisma. 7 (-2 to lying and flirting)
wisdom. 12
dexterity. 8 (-1 all save throws and kaeshi waza)
Constitution: 17 (+2 to HP rolls, add ability "High Alcohol Tolerance")
THAC0: 16
AC: 8 (padded cotton dogi and hachi maki)

Weapon Profeciency: Ishi Yama ryu Katana and Bokken
Non Weapon Profeciencies: High Alcohol Tolerance (adds +1 to charisma for every shot over 3), Eating (add +1 to hit point regeneration for every 1000 calories consumed)

Weapons: Paul Chen Practical Plus Katana (1d8 +1)

favorite quote: "I'm SO going to enjoy kicking your ass... assuming I roll a 12 or higher."

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity"
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2004, 08:50 AM   #7
Joezer M.
 
Joezer M.'s Avatar
Location: Indonesia
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 54
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Of course, we'll still do 'real' aikido...
But tabbletop aikido could be a nice hobby too, no?
And a great alternative for when you can't train, or too spend some free time with your fellow aikidokas... Also, the dojo could benefit from selling tabbletop-aikido related merchandise...

Btw, how would you earn experience points here?
Slaugh... err... kil... err... defeating other aikidoka?
Doing quests like "Fold sensei's hakama"? Hey, new skills for your character... hakama folding and hakama crafting..


Regards,
Joezer (who's looked everywhere but still can't find a shop with +1 bokens )

I AM in shape... Round is a shape...
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2004, 01:45 PM   #8
siwilson
Dojo: Kenshinkai Yoshinkan Aikido
Location: Portsmouth
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 450
England
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

I still say Aiki-Thug!

Don't under-estimate the Yoshinkan Jo and Bokken! I have trained with many excellent Kendo and Iaido teachers who also were following the path of Yoshinkan Aikido. I was learning my Bokken and Jo from them within AIkido training.

Also, my current Sensei won the first ever Jodo championship held in England (Mudan Section). He also holds Dan grades in Jodo and Iaido.

I started Aikido in Shudokan, and the Shudokan Hombu Dojo, in Seremban. Malaysia, was host to Sensei Don Draeger of Shinto Muso Ryu Jodo, so Yoshinkan has many fine weapons practitioners!

Osu!
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2004, 01:53 PM   #9
bcole23
Dojo: Eagle Rock Aikido, Ammon, ID
Location: Ammon, ID
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 120
United_States
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Elf, chaotic evil
Level: 1

HP: 1

Strength. 1 (-10 to hit and damage)
Intelligence. 20 (+5 to ego, -5 to ki)
Charisma. 2 (-4 to ability to find practice partner)
wisdom. 20 (+10 to get off the line of attack ability)
dexterity. 2 (-10 to get off the line of attack ability)
Constitution: 30 (+10 to HP rolls, add ability "High Alcohol Tolerance", add ability "Budda Belly")
THAC0: 50
TTAC0: 1 (to throw armour class 0)
AC: 8 (padded cotton dogi and hachi maki) +4 AC bonus added from Budda Belly ability

Weapon Profeciency: Car
Non Weapon Profeciencies: High Alcohol Tolerance (adds +1 to charisma for every shot over 3), Eating (add +1 to hit point regeneration for every 1000 calories consumed)
Diplomat (Ability to diffuse situations)
Weapons: tegatana (1d1 -.5)

favorite quote: "How am I supposed to get experience if all I ever do is not FIGHT!?"

%us = map { $_ => q{belong} } @your_base;
http://www.eaglerockaikido.com
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2004, 02:29 PM   #10
Sita Nanthavong
 
Sita Nanthavong's Avatar
Location: Fayetteville, AR
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 34
United_States
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Daitoryu Aikijutsu/Aikifruitie
(Hah! Multi-classing!)
Level 1

HP 5

STR 13
INT 18
CHA 17
WIS 17
DEX 20
CON 15

AC 5, prefers medium weight dogi from Century MA

Weapon Profiency: None.
Non Weapon proficincies: Cuteness aka Atemi (wearing hello kitty hairsticks or pigtails to class)
Weapons: doesn't matter so long as it's a "white" wood. (1d4)

favourite quote: I can't roll, sorry. My dice don't match each other.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2004, 09:41 PM   #11
stuartjvnorton
 
stuartjvnorton's Avatar
Dojo: Aikido Shudokan
Location: Melbourne
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 225
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Quote:
Michael Stuempel wrote:
Twenty years from now we might be whining about how in the good ol' days we actually did Aikido on tatami! and how that made us strong. And how we enjoyed the pain...not like the fake pain we get from a number on a scorecard.

--Michael, YoshiOrc

lol you've never had a REALLY BAD PAPER CUT, have you??!?!
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2004, 11:42 PM   #12
CNYMike
Dojo: Aikido of Central New York
Location: Cortland, NY
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,005
United_States
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Hmmmm .... in spite of being immersed in foriegn technology (Shito-ryu karate, Shotokan, TKD, Chinese forms, Wing Chun Kung Fu, fencing, western boxing, Kali, Pentjak Silat Serak, and Tai Chi), best short description would have to be an Aiki-fruity who has fallen in with Aiki-elves.

Or not.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2004, 04:18 AM   #13
siwilson
Dojo: Kenshinkai Yoshinkan Aikido
Location: Portsmouth
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 450
England
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Quote:
Michael Gallagher wrote:
Shito-ryu karate
That's a new one on me, Michael. Is it an American school?

Osu!
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2004, 05:08 AM   #14
grondahl
Dojo: Stockholms Aikidoklubb
Location: Stockholm
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 601
Sweden
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Quote:
Si Wilson wrote:
That's a new one on me, Michael. Is it an American school?
No, its actually one of the four big "japanese" karate-styles.
(Shotokan, Gojo Ryu, Wado Ryu and Shito Ryu).
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2004, 09:56 AM   #15
batemanb
 
batemanb's Avatar
Dojo: Seibukan Aikido UK
Location: body in UK, heart still in Japan
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 1,031
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Quote:
Xu Wenfung wrote:
I thought Iwama is the same as Aikikai? Sorry will try to come up with something. Any thoughts?
They are/ were depending on who you train with, but seems to me that there is a lot of difference in the way of thinking between Iwama Ryu and Aikikai. `course, I`m only going by what I read on the forums . Technically, they were Aikikai, som estill are, some aren`t, just didn`t want them to feel left out .

rgds

Bryan

A difficult problem is easily solved by asking yourself the question, "Just how would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2004, 09:56 AM   #16
batemanb
 
batemanb's Avatar
Dojo: Seibukan Aikido UK
Location: body in UK, heart still in Japan
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 1,031
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Quote:
Peter Gr$B‹O(Bdahl wrote:
No, its actually one of the four big "japanese" karate-styles.
(Shotokan, Gojo Ryu, Wado Ryu and Shito Ryu).

Doesn`t Kyokushinkai feature in the list?

A difficult problem is easily solved by asking yourself the question, "Just how would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2004, 11:16 AM   #17
CNYMike
Dojo: Aikido of Central New York
Location: Cortland, NY
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,005
United_States
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Quote:
Peter Gröndahl wrote:
No, its actually one of the four big "japanese" karate-styles.
(Shotokan, Gojo Ryu, Wado Ryu and Shito Ryu).
Although my senseis have all been American.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2004, 07:31 PM   #18
xuzen
 
xuzen's Avatar
Dojo: None at the moment - on hiatus
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 965
Malaysia
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Addendum:

Iwama Ryu aka Aiki-Pixies
General description:
Quote:
Somehow closely to the Elves is their close cousin the Pixies. Derived from common Ancestry, this subspecies of aikidoka are currently most adept with weapon. Elders who have mastered Aiki-Jo and Aiki-Ken skills get +2 on attack. Due to their expert skill with weapons, any object can be turn into a weapon... drinking bottle, used mobile phone set or discarded batteries
.
Weapon of choice:
Quote:
Anything... Imagination is the only Limitation
Favourite Quote:
Quote:
Not known at time of print
Addendum for Yoshigoons
Quote:
Some Goons or Orc, after reaching certain stage of life will seek to enhance their social status by going to the Infamously tough Main Battlecamp called The Hombu. There they will spend 11 months of tortuous training to upgrade their combat skill. Many don't even return home to tell the tales. Those that survive the training, automatically + 2 Attack skill and + 2 to Speed. These elite Orcs, usually with battle scar to boot are extremely pround of their scar and injuries, and will very likely to show and tell during any feasting over meat and ale.
The Author.

SHOMEN-ATE (TM), the solution to 90% of aikido and life's problems.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2004, 10:02 PM   #19
maikerus
Dojo: Roppongi Yoshinkan Aikido / Roppongi, Tokyo, Japan
Location: Tokyo
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 571
Japan
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Quote:
Xu Wenfung wrote:
Addendum:


Addendum for Yoshigoons

Quote:
Some Goons or Orc, after reaching certain stage of life will seek to enhance their social status by going to the Infamously tough Main Battlecamp called The Hombu. There they will spend 11 months of tortuous training to upgrade their combat skill. Many don't even return home to tell the tales. Those that survive the training, automatically + 2 Attack skill and + 2 to Speed.
They should also get -4 to their intelligence <wry grin>

--Michael

Hiriki no yosei 3 - The kihon that makes your head ache instead of your legs
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-06-2004, 12:17 AM   #20
Bronson
 
Bronson's Avatar
Dojo: Seiwa Dojo and Southside Dojo
Location: Battle Creek & Kalamazoo, MI
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 1,677
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Quote:
Michael Stuempel wrote:
They should also get -4 to their intelligence <wry grin>
And charisma

Bronson

"A pacifist is not really a pacifist if he is unable to make a choice between violence and non-violence. A true pacifist is able to kill or maim in the blink of an eye, but at the moment of impending destruction of the enemy he chooses non-violence."
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-06-2004, 12:54 AM   #21
maikerus
Dojo: Roppongi Yoshinkan Aikido / Roppongi, Tokyo, Japan
Location: Tokyo
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 571
Japan
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Quote:
Bronson Diffin wrote:
And charisma

Bronson
Hey! Come join me in the chat room ... and we'll see about charisma then

--Michael, YoshiOrc (Big like tree, Smart like dumptruck)

Hiriki no yosei 3 - The kihon that makes your head ache instead of your legs
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-06-2004, 01:17 AM   #22
Bronson
 
Bronson's Avatar
Dojo: Seiwa Dojo and Southside Dojo
Location: Battle Creek & Kalamazoo, MI
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 1,677
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Quote:
Michael Stuempel wrote:
Hey! Come join me in the chat room ... and we'll see about charisma then
Ummm, are you hitting on me???

Bronson

"A pacifist is not really a pacifist if he is unable to make a choice between violence and non-violence. A true pacifist is able to kill or maim in the blink of an eye, but at the moment of impending destruction of the enemy he chooses non-violence."
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-06-2004, 01:18 AM   #23
PeterR
 
PeterR's Avatar
Dojo: Shodokan Honbu (Osaka)
Location: Himeji, Japan
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 3,319
Japan
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Shades of Charisma-man?

Peter Rehse Shodokan Aikido
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-06-2004, 01:50 AM   #24
maikerus
Dojo: Roppongi Yoshinkan Aikido / Roppongi, Tokyo, Japan
Location: Tokyo
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 571
Japan
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Quote:
Bronson Diffin wrote:
Ummm, are you hitting on me???

Bronson
Only if you ask me nicely

Hiriki no yosei 3 - The kihon that makes your head ache instead of your legs
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-06-2004, 02:58 AM   #25
Bronson
 
Bronson's Avatar
Dojo: Seiwa Dojo and Southside Dojo
Location: Battle Creek & Kalamazoo, MI
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 1,677
Offline
Re: More Shodothug,Yoshigoons, Aikielves etc

Quote:
Michael Stuempel wrote:
Only if you ask me nicely
Ok, just as long as it doesn't cost extra

Bronson

"A pacifist is not really a pacifist if he is unable to make a choice between violence and non-violence. A true pacifist is able to kill or maim in the blink of an eye, but at the moment of impending destruction of the enemy he chooses non-violence."
  Reply With Quote

Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:04 AM.



vBulletin Copyright © 2000-2024 Jelsoft Enterprises Limited
----------
Copyright 1997-2024 AikiWeb and its Authors, All Rights Reserved.
----------
For questions and comments about this website:
Send E-mail
plainlaid-picaresque outchasing-protistan explicantia-altarage seaford-stellionate