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Old 04-22-2006, 01:24 AM   #26
Lucy Smith
Dojo: Samurai Dojo
Location: Montevideo
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 138
Uruguay
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Re: Sexual harrassment

yeah just what I was thinking about you

anyway we are out of subject here



Lucy
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Old 04-22-2006, 09:11 AM   #27
Lorien Lowe
Dojo: Northcoast Aikido
Location: California
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 289
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Re: Sexual harrassment

I'll drag this back on kicking and screaming:
There's always incidental squashing, touching, and whomping of sensitive parts by both sexes on the mats; I've had my hand accidentally taken where it ordinarily shouldn't go as often as I've had hands go where they ordinarily shouldn't on me. The thing is, when we're training hard I barely notice. I'm sure it's happened more times on both sides than I'm consciously aware of.
When it does come up, as with a newbie, I usually get a very red face and an 'oh, sorry!' The one time I've experienced harassment on the mat, it was 'OOoooohh that was nice! I liked that!' after a sempai accidentaly squashed a breast during irimi-nage. Biiiiig difference.
I've turned men 180 degrees by glaring at them, before, and he immediately knew he'd done something wrong. I kept training (unfortunately, his ukemi was too good for me to really kill him), and after class I made it clear what exactly my problem was. I never had a problem with him again; later he quit training.

-LK
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Old 04-22-2006, 07:45 PM   #28
Hanna B
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 647
Sweden
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Re: Sexual harrassment

Thank you Lorien for bringing the thread back on topic.
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Old 04-24-2006, 07:49 AM   #29
Steve Mullen
Dojo: White Rose (Sunderland)
Location: Washington
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 270
England
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Re: Sexual harrassment

Quote:
Lorien Lowe wrote:
and he immediately knew he'd done something wrong. I kept training (unfortunately, his ukemi was too good for me to really kill him), and after class I made it clear what exactly my problem was. I never had a problem with him again; later he quit training.

-LK

at the risk of sounding like an extra off the Jerry Springer show YOU GO GIRL!!!
He would be beaten half to death by most of the girls/ladies/those of the double x chromosome.
Then the guys would beat him the other half

"No matter your pretence, you are what you are and nothing more." - Kenshiro Abbe Shihan
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Old 04-24-2006, 09:34 AM   #30
Koren Ko
 
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Dojo: Nihon Aikido Kenkyukai? Yoshikan style
Location: Penang
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 26
Malaysia
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Re: Sexual harrassment

Quote:
Anne Marie Giri wrote:
I have experienced it -- during kokyuho my partner allowed his hands to "accidently slip" and then he literally squeezed my breasts. Of course, he promptly had a fist in his face -- mine. Sensei was told and the next time I saw the jerk in class he didn't look very happy. And I never saw him after that. It's rare, but I'm in a large dojo living in a city where you do get all kinds of people so your bound to bring in some jerks. Fortunately, I had a sensei who believed me when I said it happened.

Also, sensei didn't see it happen because this jerk was pretty sneaky about how he did it. So just because you don't see it doesn't mean it might not have happened. Please trust your students.
Errr...ok, you r pretty straight and fast to react...
How will an opposite-sex trainer react and behave so not to get a fist?
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Old 04-25-2006, 02:45 AM   #31
Steve Mullen
Dojo: White Rose (Sunderland)
Location: Washington
Join Date: Jul 2004
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England
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Re: Sexual harrassment

ermmm by not squeezing anne marie's breasts seems like a good start.

I think (and forgive me if im wrong) what anne marie was doing here was highlighting the fact that there is a difference between the accidental brushing of an intimate part when training, and a full on grope, or even taking advantage of what starts as an accidental brushing

"No matter your pretence, you are what you are and nothing more." - Kenshiro Abbe Shihan
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Old 04-25-2006, 02:55 AM   #32
Steve Mullen
Dojo: White Rose (Sunderland)
Location: Washington
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England
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Re: Sexual harrassment

I think the simple solution to the whole sexual harrassment problem is to not let women train with us men

[spoiler]As i now fear for my safety i would like to point out that the above statement was made totally in jest and very tongue-in-cheek, hence the please don't kill me, and definately don't tell the aiki-sirens from the humour section, they scare me so badly [/spoiler]

Seriously though, i think the biggest thing (and it's been mentioned above) is trust, trusting your training partner not to take advantage of those types of situation, or the physicality of our type of art.

"No matter your pretence, you are what you are and nothing more." - Kenshiro Abbe Shihan
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Old 04-25-2006, 02:59 AM   #33
Steve Mullen
Dojo: White Rose (Sunderland)
Location: Washington
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 270
England
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Re: Sexual harrassment

Oooops, didn't meant to hit post repyl then.

right, were was i.....ah yes the trust thing.

The trust is so important in this type of art that on the odd occassion harrassment of any kind does happen it's kind of multiplied as there is the betrayal of trust issue to

so, once again NO TOUCHY FEELY DAMMIT

"No matter your pretence, you are what you are and nothing more." - Kenshiro Abbe Shihan
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Old 04-25-2006, 03:28 AM   #34
Dirk Hanss
 
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Dojo: Aikidoschule Trier
Location: Merzkirchen
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 470
Germany
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Re: Sexual harrassment

OT: Steve, did you ever realise the <edit> button?

So if submit unwillingly or realise a mistake just after post submitted, you can edit it and post the corrected version.

Hope that helps


Dirk
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Old 04-25-2006, 05:08 AM   #35
Steve Mullen
Dojo: White Rose (Sunderland)
Location: Washington
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England
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Re: Sexual harrassment

he he thanks dirk

"No matter your pretence, you are what you are and nothing more." - Kenshiro Abbe Shihan
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Old 04-26-2006, 10:42 AM   #36
merlynn
 
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Dojo: lone pine ryu school of aiki kyusho jujutsu ,woking & guildford
Location: kingston upon hull
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United Kingdom
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Re: Sexual harrassment

Quote:
Steve Mullen wrote:
I think the simple solution to the whole sexual harrassment problem is to not let women train with us men

[spoiler]As i now fear for my safety i would like to point out that the above statement was made totally in jest and very tongue-in-cheek, hence the please don't kill me, and definately don't tell the aiki-sirens from the humour section, they scare me so badly [/spoiler]

Seriously though, i think the biggest thing (and it's been mentioned above) is trust, trusting your training partner not to take advantage of those types of situation, or the physicality of our type of art.
too late steve we are on to you

some things are so dear and so precious you have to let them go
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Old 04-27-2006, 03:16 AM   #37
Steve Mullen
Dojo: White Rose (Sunderland)
Location: Washington
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England
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Re: Sexual harrassment

No i love women on the mat

[spoiler]they just scare me so badly[/spoiler]

"No matter your pretence, you are what you are and nothing more." - Kenshiro Abbe Shihan
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Old 04-27-2006, 09:26 AM   #38
merlynn
 
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Dojo: lone pine ryu school of aiki kyusho jujutsu ,woking & guildford
Location: kingston upon hull
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United Kingdom
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Re: Sexual harrassment

Quote:
Steve Mullen wrote:
No i love women on the mat

[spoiler]they just scare me so badly[/spoiler]
mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha

some things are so dear and so precious you have to let them go
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Old 12-31-2018, 01:14 PM   #39
Richard.B.Martin
Dojo: Best Martial Arts, Eugene Oregon
Location: Veneta,Oregon
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 4
United_States
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Re: Sexual harrassment

Quote:
Brian Cates wrote: View Post
You hate all soldiers everywhere, you think they are bad people, much worse, and they rape alot.

I'm beginning to realize I'm not going to get far having a rational discussion with you, so I'll drop it here.
As a Military Veteran, and someone who has witnessed the after-effects of unwanted sexual harassment of women (and men) in the military, and the inevitable harassment of those who dared to report it up the chain of command...and the deleterious effect upon their careers and lives.

I have to condemn you and your attitude Mr. Cates. For I have seen little to no rationality in your assertions nor your reactions to those who question your stance. I know that my comment is being made many years after the fact, but I feel the need to say something lo these many years after.

Such an attitude of yours, is one of the biggest reasons why so many in the military tend to turn against it, after they muster out.

Now, for everyone else who is reading this. Allow me to put forth some facts that many of the Conservatives in America refuse to face:
1) Q) Is there a great deal of sexual flirtation in the military?
A) Yes, there is. Often young adults are put into incredibly stressful situations in the military. This includes such minor traumas as Basic Training, on up to having someone attempt to kill them. Naturally, this is all to be expected.
Thus, many of these young, healthy, physically-fit' young adults out on their own for the first time, choose to unwind and de-stress in various ways: working out, drinking, partying, and yes- sex.

Which inevitably leads to situations wherein someone is unable to consent to sex, and the male-other chooses to continue in the absence of consent, or is undaunted when refused consent.

Unfortunately in American Culture, many of our males are taught many things growing up that they shouldn't; up to and including an overblown sense of entitlement. For this assertion I put forth the notion of Affluenza and the young male from Texas whose name is now permanently attached to such an adjective.

But, my biggest beef with society, is that which we don't teach our young men: Which is- "Don't Rape". We don't teach or tell our young men to not rape. Inevitably, whensoever I bring up such a suggestion I am usually shouted at, or cussed at, for even mentioning such a 'radical-leftist' idea. Which is sad, really.

Sad, because Society has a kazillion suggestions on how to get women to change their behaviors to avoid being raped, as if the onus is supposed to be on them. Yet invariably rape occurs because a man has chosen to instigate it.

If you ever choose to reply to my comment Mr. Cates- I would have a question for you: Is your attitude concerning the 'radical/feminist/leftists' of America, the kind of attitude that O Sensei would have adopted?

I think we both know the answer to that one.

It is my sincerest hope that you've changed your ways in the years since you've made that rather immature and dismissive comment in your last reply.

So, in summation: Recently I have learned a bit of advice that I have started to emulate when it comes to my personal behavior both on and off the Mat.

"Never say anything to a woman in life, that you'd rather not have a Man say to you in prison."

Good day.
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