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Old 05-05-2013, 11:01 PM   #1
"Anonymous"
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Straight Face Cold Sensei

Just looking for some advice or if anyone has experienced the same thing?
I've been practicing a number of years in a rather small close knit dojo. I developed a friendship with my Sensei off the mat. Nothing inappropriate in any way, and nothing that I think would affect our student/teacher relationship on the mat. One day, Sensei started treating me with a sort of cold distance. No conversation outside of Aikido or the weather. There was no explanation for this behavior. I don't know if I did anything to make Sensei angry. I assumed for a while that Sensei had decided to stay more distant from students in general, but that wasn't true. Sensei has one student that is a best friend. They hang out together off the mat. On the mat in the advanced class (not the basics class), they often practice only with each other for most of the class.
I love Aikido, and I enjoy the company of just about everyone in the dojo. But, it is getting hard to come to class to get treated as an outsider by someone I once counted as a good friend, especially when that person is my teacher and not just another student. Sensei still teaches me on the mat, and doesn't treat me unkindly exactly. It just feels like I am being pushed away.
As a student, have you ever had a sensei treat you this way?
As a teacher, have you ever felt the need to distance yourself from a student, and why?
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Old 05-05-2013, 11:21 PM   #2
Chris Li
 
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Re: Cold Sensei

Quote:
Anonymous User wrote: View Post
As a student, have you ever had a sensei treat you this way?
You bet.

Quote:
Anonymous User wrote: View Post
As a teacher, have you ever felt the need to distance yourself from a student, and why?
Nope.

I suspect that, as it would be with anybody else you know who suddenly starts acting this way, the best way to find out is just to ask them directly.

Relationships with a teacher aren't (or they shouldn't be) any different than relationships with anyone else, especially if this is all between adults.

Best,

Chris

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Old 05-05-2013, 11:40 PM   #3
Lorien Lowe
Dojo: Northcoast Aikido
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Re: Cold Sensei

I had the parents of a junior student suddenly start doing this once. They pulled their kid from my class with no warning other than a note saying that they would no longer be attending. No idea whatsoever what caused it; I wasn't doing anything, not even in private, that would cause me to suddenly start acting that way towards someone else: nothing to be ashamed of, and no false rumors that I knew of or have heard of since.
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Old 05-06-2013, 02:29 PM   #4
Marc Abrams
Dojo: Aikido Arts of Shin Budo Kai/ Bedford Hills, New York
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Re: Cold Sensei

Quote:
Anonymous User wrote: View Post
Just looking for some advice or if anyone has experienced the same thing?
I've been practicing a number of years in a rather small close knit dojo. I developed a friendship with my Sensei off the mat. Nothing inappropriate in any way, and nothing that I think would affect our student/teacher relationship on the mat. One day, Sensei started treating me with a sort of cold distance. No conversation outside of Aikido or the weather. There was no explanation for this behavior. I don't know if I did anything to make Sensei angry. I assumed for a while that Sensei had decided to stay more distant from students in general, but that wasn't true. Sensei has one student that is a best friend. They hang out together off the mat. On the mat in the advanced class (not the basics class), they often practice only with each other for most of the class.
I love Aikido, and I enjoy the company of just about everyone in the dojo. But, it is getting hard to come to class to get treated as an outsider by someone I once counted as a good friend, especially when that person is my teacher and not just another student. Sensei still teaches me on the mat, and doesn't treat me unkindly exactly. It just feels like I am being pushed away.
As a student, have you ever had a sensei treat you this way?
As a teacher, have you ever felt the need to distance yourself from a student, and why?
The only answers that will be of any use to you will emerge from your direct, private conversation with your teacher. If our training is to help us learn how to better address and resolve interpersonal conflicts in our lives, then an opportunity awaits!

Good Luck!

Marc Abrams
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Old 05-06-2013, 07:28 PM   #5
"Anonymous"
IP Hash: 725508d3
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Re: Cold Sensei

To answer your question, we are both adults. Not kids by any means And I did approach Sensei about it a while ago. He said that No, I didn't do anything to make him angry, and more cryptically Perhaps it was best this way, and Maybe we need to work on my self-esteem.
I suspect that I actually did do something to make him behave this way. I don't think he values a more direct style of communication. My suspicion is that he thinks that he is protecting me from the truth and can quietly discard the unwanted friend while getting to keep the student. But, that is me guessing in the dark.
Unfortunately for me, it is by nature an unequal relationship. I have to take my cue from my sensei as to how the relationship goes. I feel like my only options are to accept my role as a student only or leave. What is hard about it for me is that it is a small dojo and I spend quite a bit of time there. To not be included in a social group within the dojo makes training there very lonely.
I always thought of Aikido as not just being the training and is more about the connections that are created through training. It just feels very hurtful to be excluded by the very person who taught me that.
Am I missing something? Should I not allow those connections to be broken? Or am I supposed to ignore how this behavior makes me feel and just shut up and train? Very confused.
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Old 05-06-2013, 08:49 PM   #6
"beenthere"
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Re: Cold Sensei

Hi,

Many people experience this.
Being direct often does not help.
Make friends with other students if possible.
It is vital not to have your entire social life at the place you train.
Sensei are sometimes jerks. Even really good ones.and they make mistakes. Think of it as Ukemi practice. Just take the fall and keep training.

B
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Old 05-07-2013, 04:29 AM   #7
Pauliina Lievonen
 
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Re: Cold Sensei

If you do have other options for training, it might be a good idea to look around. You might find a dojo with a more welcoming feel. Sometimes you get so used to how a group acts and behaves that you only see whether or not it's healthy after you leave. Anyway, even if you decide to stay, visiting other dojo from time to time is a great way to learn, so you have little to lose by doing that!
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Old 05-07-2013, 05:14 AM   #8
JJF
 
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Re: Cold Sensei

I wonder.. could this sensei be romantically interested in you? Maybe the distancing is due to a misunderstanding / hurt feelings.

But.. all the others have good advice as well. If talking in the open about it dosen't help then just practice and try to find other friends to fill you social needs. Eventually something may be said, solve itself or in other ways become apparent. Until then - just focus on being a nice person, enjoy friends and train hard and in joyful spirit.

Good luck

JJ

PS: No.. I've never experienced anything like this.And I hope none of my students have.

- Jørgen Jakob Friis

Inspiration - Aspiration - Perspiration
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Old 05-07-2013, 05:48 AM   #9
Mary Eastland
 
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Re: Cold Sensei

Action speaks louder than words. I would trust how I feel.

That being said, no matter how someone may seem we can't control them. We can, however, be who we are and make good choices for ourselves. By relaxing and thinking about what I need from a situation I can decide what to do based on what works for me.

Mary Eastland

Dare to Tenkan
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Old 05-07-2013, 07:01 AM   #10
Marc Abrams
Dojo: Aikido Arts of Shin Budo Kai/ Bedford Hills, New York
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Re: Cold Sensei

Quote:
Anonymous User wrote: View Post
To answer your question, we are both adults. Not kids by any means And I did approach Sensei about it a while ago. He said that No, I didn't do anything to make him angry, and more cryptically Perhaps it was best this way, and Maybe we need to work on my self-esteem.
I suspect that I actually did do something to make him behave this way. I don't think he values a more direct style of communication. My suspicion is that he thinks that he is protecting me from the truth and can quietly discard the unwanted friend while getting to keep the student. But, that is me guessing in the dark.
Unfortunately for me, it is by nature an unequal relationship. I have to take my cue from my sensei as to how the relationship goes. I feel like my only options are to accept my role as a student only or leave. What is hard about it for me is that it is a small dojo and I spend quite a bit of time there. To not be included in a social group within the dojo makes training there very lonely.
I always thought of Aikido as not just being the training and is more about the connections that are created through training. It just feels very hurtful to be excluded by the very person who taught me that.
Am I missing something? Should I not allow those connections to be broken? Or am I supposed to ignore how this behavior makes me feel and just shut up and train? Very confused.
So let's look at the "answers" that emerge:

1) He says that you did not do something to make him angry and that maybe you need to work on your self-esteem= I will not answer you directly and prefer to displace blame on you and not address the 10 ton elephant in the room = passive-aggressive manner of addressing interpersonal conflicts. Is this the kind of model that you want to follow?
2) You recognize that it is a smal dojo and that this "world" has sub-groupings like all other other "worlds, and you are not in the "inner circle" at the moment. How much of why you are there is for the "Aikido" and how much for the "social"?
3) How would you like to manage the connections from the sub-group that you reside in?

This is a good starting point to begin to look deeper into what is happening to you at this dojo.

marc abrams
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Old 05-07-2013, 07:24 AM   #11
"Anonymous"
IP Hash: 725508d3
Anonymous User
Freaky! Re: Cold Sensei

Oh wow. I am clueless. I think I just put some things together. Thanks for the comments, they added some perspective.
He's married. His wife also practices. I am also married (happily!!). His wife has always been polite with me, but is often more friendly with other people than me. I often have an easier time making friends with men than women. I don't think there are any better men on the planet better than my husband, so affairs are a foreign concept for me. Never even crossed my mind.
Sensei has made some comments about how people will follow their highest ideals, not yours, so you shouldn't judge them based on your ideals.
Possibly, it was some combination of one or both of them fearing an affair. Ugh. I don't think of myself that way! The idea of me as some sort of temptress is laughable!
So now, how to deal with that? I'm a little obstinate, so I'm not sure I want to give up the dojo that I love over something so dumb. And there are my female kohai that I feel a responsibility to be an example for.
Hmmm, maybe I should talk about how ugly and smelly he is in front of his wife....Or I could constantly talk about how great my husband is....lol. Ideas??
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Old 05-07-2013, 08:21 AM   #12
Marc Abrams
Dojo: Aikido Arts of Shin Budo Kai/ Bedford Hills, New York
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Re: Cold Sensei

Quote:
Anonymous User wrote: View Post
Oh wow. I am clueless. I think I just put some things together. Thanks for the comments, they added some perspective.
He's married. His wife also practices. I am also married (happily!!). His wife has always been polite with me, but is often more friendly with other people than me. I often have an easier time making friends with men than women. I don't think there are any better men on the planet better than my husband, so affairs are a foreign concept for me. Never even crossed my mind.
Sensei has made some comments about how people will follow their highest ideals, not yours, so you shouldn't judge them based on your ideals.
Possibly, it was some combination of one or both of them fearing an affair. Ugh. I don't think of myself that way! The idea of me as some sort of temptress is laughable!
So now, how to deal with that? I'm a little obstinate, so I'm not sure I want to give up the dojo that I love over something so dumb. And there are my female kohai that I feel a responsibility to be an example for.
Hmmm, maybe I should talk about how ugly and smelly he is in front of his wife....Or I could constantly talk about how great my husband is....lol. Ideas??
Sounds like you are doing a great job being you! Why change? Simply being aware of how you might be perceived by those in that dojo will enable you to connect with a greater degree of sincerity and accuracy! People have their own unique ways of responding to others. You sound like you are both sincere and direct. Great traits that can be expressed in Aikido and daily life.

marc abrams
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Old 05-07-2013, 08:24 AM   #13
lbb
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Re: Cold Sensei

Quote:
Anonymous User wrote: View Post
Unfortunately for me, it is by nature an unequal relationship. I have to take my cue from my sensei as to how the relationship goes. I feel like my only options are to accept my role as a student only or leave. What is hard about it for me is that it is a small dojo and I spend quite a bit of time there. To not be included in a social group within the dojo makes training there very lonely.
I always thought of Aikido as not just being the training and is more about the connections that are created through training. It just feels very hurtful to be excluded by the very person who taught me that.
Am I missing something? Should I not allow those connections to be broken? Or am I supposed to ignore how this behavior makes me feel and just shut up and train? Very confused.
My first advice would be to not think in terms of false dichotomies: it's either this, or it's that; I have choice A, or I have choice B. Focusing on what you perceive as your choices can blind you to other possibilities. And, in fact, I believe that one of your perceived choices is not available to you. You can't unilaterally create a relationship with someone if they don't want it, and that has nothing to do with who's the sensei and who's the student: every human being has autonomy, if they choose to exercise it, and can't be compelled to relate to you in the way that you want.

As for aikido being "more about the connections", that may be true for you, that you value the interpersonal relationships more than your training. Depending on how much more you value them, it could be a problem. I think that those who value their dojo primarily as a social outlet are bound to be disappointed eventually, and come to a place where their dojo fails them in that regard, simply because that's not the dojo's purpose, and it's not why others are there. I've seen a number of people go through this -- some were kind of isolated outside the dojo and may have been using it in an unhealthy way, others were as well-adjusted as anyone I know -- and eventually they all had to face the fact that they liked the dojo but didn't care so much about doing the aikido. If it's talking to your friends or going for beers afterwards that brings someone into the dojo, and not the training, it's probably not going to work out.
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Old 05-08-2013, 03:20 AM   #14
Lorien Lowe
Dojo: Northcoast Aikido
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Re: Cold Sensei

Quote:
Anonymous User wrote: View Post
Oh wow. I am clueless. I think I just put some things together. Thanks for the comments, they added some perspective.
He's married. His wife also practices. I am also married (happily!!). His wife has always been polite with me, but is often more friendly with other people than me. I often have an easier time making friends with men than women. I don't think there are any better men on the planet better than my husband, so affairs are a foreign concept for me. Never even crossed my mind.
Sensei has made some comments about how people will follow their highest ideals, not yours, so you shouldn't judge them based on your ideals.
Possibly, it was some combination of one or both of them fearing an affair. Ugh. I don't think of myself that way! The idea of me as some sort of temptress is laughable!
So now, how to deal with that? I'm a little obstinate, so I'm not sure I want to give up the dojo that I love over something so dumb. And there are my female kohai that I feel a responsibility to be an example for.
Hmmm, maybe I should talk about how ugly and smelly he is in front of his wife....Or I could constantly talk about how great my husband is....lol. Ideas??
Insulting him probably isn't the best course, even if he isn't around when you do it. Actions speak louder than words; accept your position as a student, because regardless of the reason, he is uncomfortable with you being more than that. Make it clear that you're there primarily for the aikido... or start hanging out only when his wife is also present, or hang out with other students. Or get your husband on to the mat, too.
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Old 05-08-2013, 09:13 AM   #15
NagaBaba
 
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Re: Cold Sensei

Your sensei is a very wise man. He acted in a way, you can still practice in his dojo and he still can be happily married. I know personally one woman who was expulsed from the dojo in similar situation. So as the wise sages from Himalaya advice “we do don’t touch perfection to improve it ”

Nagababa

ask for divine protection Ame no Murakumo Kuki Samuhara no Ryuo
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Old 05-08-2013, 09:51 PM   #16
Basia Halliop
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Re: Cold Sensei

Who knows why he doesn't want to be as close friends anymore. Maybe it's to do with his marriage, maybe he just realized he was getting to be closer than he actually wanted to be or spending more time with you than he really wanted, or maybe there are other things going on in his life that means that he doesn't want to socialize so much. Either way, I think you kind of have to just respect it and keep being pleasant and training and accept that he doesn't want to be close friends for the moment (and maybe ever but really who knows). Give it some time, a couple of months I'd say, and if after some time you can't adjust to the new situation and enjoy your training then you can always consider if you still want to train there.
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Old 05-09-2013, 11:00 AM   #17
heathererandolph
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Re: Cold Sensei

I am getting the feeling that he isn't being entirely honest with you. He says you need to work on your self-esteem? What does that mean??? If his wife is jealous, he could tell you that. Maybe he's not telling you that because she is also a student. The truth is, there is a lot that we don't know about even close friends. Sometimes they say certain situations bring out the statement "so now I know who my friends truly are." Friendship can be situational, sometimes, and sometimes situations change.

Going back to the self-esteem comment, I would ask him what that means. As a Sensei, he may be making a valid observation but I think you need more information on that. I wouldn't be too surprised if he wife is jealous, I mean if her man has a "special friendship" with a woman that may bother her. Ask yourself if the shoe was on the other foot, how would you feel?

You could try speaking to his wife, not on topic just try to get to know her a little better. Even though it's "nothing romantic" it's still time he may not be sharing with her, so perhaps this friendship was to the point where it isn't healthy for his marriage. It could be also that they are having problems, and this friendship is adding fuel to the fire. I'm sure what you're observing is correct, and his coldness shouldn't be taken as an active dislike. He obviously has great regard for you.

As far as being excluded from groups, that is worrisome. If you're being treated like an outcast that is truly unfortunate and wrong. Just try to hold on there, and usually in Aikido practice, things get better. There can always be things we just don't know. Be super respectful "yes Sensei, right away Sensei" and just be an exemplary student. Not cracking under pressure can be another thing that makes you great.

Last edited by heathererandolph : 05-09-2013 at 11:04 AM. Reason: Spelling
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Old 05-09-2013, 12:30 PM   #18
Robert Cowham
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Re: Cold Sensei

People all have their own hangups (in my experience!) There are some people who are good at aikido and not so good at human relations, or indeed have rather strange(!) characters. In an extreme case, I know of a high ranking sensei who basically stopped teaching women - apparently his wife didn't like him having any physical contact with other women... More than a little frustrating for the various senior women in the organisation.

Similar to other's advice: keep your own centre, behave according to your own principles, keep an open mind and don't assume the blame for other's lack of insight, and be patient - the answer will appear in some form of another over time.
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Old 05-10-2013, 08:03 AM   #19
lbb
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Re: Cold Sensei

Sounds like this man-woman stuff sure brings out the ugly in people.
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Old 05-13-2013, 11:20 AM   #20
JLRonin
 
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Re: Cold Sensei

Anonymous, It could be a gender thing? I don't know.
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Old 05-16-2013, 12:37 PM   #21
"just a thought out loud"
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Re: Cold Sensei

Most commonly sexual attraction is of the female student to the male sensei.Many women are attracted to men in positions of power and authority. Men know this and can exploit the position or handle it responsiblely. I have at least a dozen women or more develop a relationship for that reason. When they get too close I must put them at a distance. I am a sensei and have obligations as such and to all the other students. Usually I will not bring up the subject as I don't want to hurt feelings or feelings of rejection between us. I just place some distance between us which has always worked out. The credit is given to those women ro make that happen. Yes some odf those women are still my students today.
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Old 05-16-2013, 07:22 PM   #22
"notimetologin"
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Re: Cold Sensei

I am curious, does "being distanced" because of boundary issues happen to men much? Men do get quite passionate and talk about fathers and sons and comrades and so on, and even share rooms:-) ! Distancing seems to happen to women a fairly often, in small ways and large, and I think has a larger impact on women's training than one might think. Male students many times have access and a comfort level with sensei that women students do not, and I think some women's passion for martial arts gets mistaken for passion for some guy, to their loss. Seems like there ought to be a better way to handle this, as there just aren't enough women teachers! I would really like to hear other women's thoughts on this. Maybe this should be a new thread, perhaps "not falling in love with sensei..."
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Old 05-17-2013, 10:06 AM   #23
"just a thought out loud"
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Re: Cold Sensei

We are assuming the issue is of a romantic nature between the sensei and his female student. Maybe that isn't the situation. What if the reason for the relationship is some thing else? What ever the reason theiwr is a core dynamic between men and women. The female student should not take the actions of the sensei personally as explained in the book WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT HOW MEN THINK AT WORK - FOR WOMEN ONLY IN THE WORK PLACE by Shaunti Feldhahn. This could help.
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Old 05-17-2013, 07:59 PM   #24
"notimetologin"
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Re: Cold Sensei

I know a few teachers who just don't have personal friendships outside of class with any student. Beginning to see the point.
It is frustrating, as a woman, to be avoided as uke, for example for reasons that have nothing to do with training.
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Old 05-18-2013, 01:40 PM   #25
graham christian
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Re: Cold Sensei

Man/Woman. Feelings. Mmmmmm. One good thing here is it can give you the opportunity to practice non resistance.

But onto the scene I would say this. There is a very simple, in fact too simple, rule that those who follow it don't have the problem or similar to what you describe. It can even be recognized colloquially by all and it's simply this: "Don't cross the line" I'm not even going to explain it as you all know what it means.

Problems come when you want to, or when the other wants to, or here's the important bit, when you don't trust yourself not to. Too simple. It's discipline and ethics really. One who don't trust themselves may then have to keep a distance and that's the discipline they put in but it's better they just understand its an uncross-able line full stop.

Too simple. You cross it and you are in another world, a different kind of relationship whether you justify it as 'things just happened or one thing led to another etc.'

Now the scene above may or may not be of this type of thing but may just be a wife feeling husband's getting too close to another and so Husband deciding not to be so close and friendly.

Bottom line is you are actually just talking about yourself really. Be comfortable with yourself and be comfortable and respect his decision or change of closeness for it as you have said is not harmful or even detrimental to his teaching you. That's my advice. Only then will things become clear.

Peace.G.
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