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Old 01-23-2012, 12:30 PM   #1
RuteMendes
Dojo: Dramático de Cascais
Location: Lisbon
Join Date: Jul 2011
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Portugal
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Unhealthy Aikido obsession

Hey!
I'm new in this forum... Just started Aikido 4 months ago!
I'm a 15 years old girl from Portugal and there's something that's kind of worrying me: I'm started to get obsessed with Aikido! Seriously!
I think about it all the time... During the morning, afternoon, night (yes, I dream about Aikido very frequently ). I don't mind, actually... 4 months ago, all I did with my life was studying and going to facebook and useless websites like that one. Now I've got something worth living for, you understand?
I even think about it while in school classes... Like "hmmm would shihonage work with this person? or pehaps an iriminage? how would o'sensei react if someone attacked him? wowww aikido is great! can't wait until next class! oh! forgot we had maths homework! what do I do now? " :S
I know it sounds silly, as I started recently, but do you think it will end up affecting my studies? How shall I deal with this? Is it unhealthy?
Does anyone else feels an obsession for Aikido?

Please don't tell me to quit, it's absolutley out of question.

Thanks for reading ... Please reply.

Peace!

Last edited by RuteMendes : 01-23-2012 at 12:35 PM.
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Old 01-23-2012, 12:36 PM   #2
Demetrio Cereijo
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 2,248
Spain
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

Quote:
Rute Mendes wrote: View Post
but do you think it will end up affecting my studies?
Probably
Quote:
How shall I deal with this?
Don't get obsessed.
Quote:
Is it unhealthy?
Sure
Quote:
Does anyone else feels an obsession for Aikido?
I know some people who are obsessive about aikido.
Quote:
Please don't tell me to quit, it's absolutley out of question.

Quote:
Thanks for reading ... Please reply.
Done.
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Old 01-23-2012, 12:44 PM   #3
Marie Noelle Fequiere
 
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Dojo: Atibon Aikido, Port Au Prince, Haiti
Location: Port au Prince
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

Welcome to the Aikido community! Now, don't you worry, you are experiencing what I call the beginner's high. It's absolutely common, normal, and even necessary, for the first few months of training in almost anything, be it Aikido, Ballet, Karate, tap dancing, you name it, are often about practicing over and over again the basic steps that will enable you to excel in your chosen art. After a few months, one of two things will happen: you will either grow bored and quit, or you will find yourself on your way to many years of exciting discovery.
I certainly wish you the latest. Quit? No, no, no, your have no idea (yet) of what you will miss if you do that.
Welcome aboard the Aiki obsessed train, and let the fun begin!
Weeeeeeee!
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Old 01-23-2012, 01:19 PM   #4
Marie Noelle Fequiere
 
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Dojo: Atibon Aikido, Port Au Prince, Haiti
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

Oh, and I forgot, you are now officially an aikibunny!
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Old 01-23-2012, 01:25 PM   #5
RuteMendes
Dojo: Dramático de Cascais
Location: Lisbon
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

Quote:
Marie Noelle Fequiere wrote: View Post
Oh, and I forgot, you are now officially an aikibunny!
thanks for your reply!
but... what is an Aikibunny? xD
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Old 01-23-2012, 01:31 PM   #6
Demetrio Cereijo
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/showthread.php?t=19043
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Old 01-23-2012, 01:53 PM   #7
Marie Noelle Fequiere
 
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Dojo: Atibon Aikido, Port Au Prince, Haiti
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

I thought tha an aikibunny was just someone obsessed with aikido?
Darn, sometimes, my english fails me....
Will you forgive me, Rute?
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Old 01-23-2012, 02:22 PM   #8
lbb
Location: Massachusetts
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

It's okay to go overboard in your early enthusiasm -- in most cases, the balance in your life will reassert itself. If you're training instead of spending all your time on Facebook, I can't see that as a bad thing. It becomes a problem if you neglect your responsibilities at home/school/work, let your relationships deteriorate with people who don't train, train in a way that is bad for your health, become an annoying aikido-fundamentalist-proselytizer who won't shut up about it (hint: almost nobody cares), or narrow your horizons so much that you can only see aikido and can't see all the other worthwhile things out there.
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Old 01-23-2012, 02:37 PM   #9
RuteMendes
Dojo: Dramático de Cascais
Location: Lisbon
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Portugal
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

Quote:
Marie Noelle Fequiere wrote: View Post
I thought tha an aikibunny was just someone obsessed with aikido?
Darn, sometimes, my english fails me....
Will you forgive me, Rute?
Ahh don't worry! I though that too!
Of course I forgive you
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Old 01-23-2012, 02:42 PM   #10
Hanna B
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

You've fallen in love. It will mature into something both deeper and more meaningful.... or vanish.
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Old 01-23-2012, 06:47 PM   #11
Malicat
Dojo: Suenaka-Ha Aikido of Bloomington
Location: Bloomington, Indiana
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

Quote:
Mary Malmros wrote: View Post
It's okay to go overboard in your early enthusiasm -- in most cases, the balance in your life will reassert itself. If you're training instead of spending all your time on Facebook, I can't see that as a bad thing. It becomes a problem if you neglect your responsibilities at home/school/work, let your relationships deteriorate with people who don't train, train in a way that is bad for your health, become an annoying aikido-fundamentalist-proselytizer who won't shut up about it (hint: almost nobody cares), or narrow your horizons so much that you can only see aikido and can't see all the other worthwhile things out there.
I am definitely with Mary on this one. I'll also point out that my Shihan is constantly making plans for what to do in a situation where he has to fight. Seriously, if you tell the man "Someone gets in your car from the rear driver's side and has a knife." he will immediately tell you what he would do in that situation. There is nothing wrong with situational awareness. Just be cautious when envisioning using a kokyu nage on your teachers, I find that they tend to frown on that sort of thing.

I am right there with you though! You may enjoy reading "Women in Aikido" by Andrea L. Siegel. One of the first things I started doing when I realized Aikido classes were where I needed to be was to read books and join a forum. *cough* Good luck with your training! Have fun and learn about yourself!

--Ashley
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Old 01-23-2012, 08:47 PM   #12
Steven
 
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Dojo: Aikido Yoshinkan Sacramento - Seikeikan Dojo
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

My obsession started in 1982 ... still obsessed.
:-)
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Old 01-24-2012, 02:21 AM   #13
Eva Antonia
Dojo: CERIA
Location: Brussels
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Belgium
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

Dear Rute,

I didn't get hooked quite so quickly; the obsession started maybe after 6 or 8 months; I don't remember. It took over gradually. I started making plans like "in order to pass that exam I have to go training 3 times a week, not 2".
Then the exam in question didn't come so I had an excuse to train 3 times a week over months, until that became routine.
Then I promised myself "after 3rd kyu I'll take up another martial art in order to get a different perspective".

And where am I now?
I'm going to aikido 4 times per week and 1 x to karate; once per month to a seminar, and whenever I'm travelling abroad, I'm going to a local dojo. That's how I know that there are no aikido dojos in Kigali and Port Harcourt, but very nice ones in Abidjan and Baku...
Before starting to work seriously, I scroll over all new posts in aikiweb, and write the one or other useless contribution.
Twice per week my kids also come to training, so I don't get the feeling to abandon the family for aikido (they stopped for a year, then decided to continue again).
I even started to learn Japanese but had to abandon that for learning Dutch (job requirement).
I organise my day so that I work enormously efficiently in the morning, come home when kids come back from school, help with homework and spend some time with the kids, cook and then, at 18.00 => off to aikido.
Sometimes I skip a class for meeting friends or going to a concert/ opera, but not too often....that would damage my happiness....
And for my old age, I dream of opening a community, non-profit dojo together with a friend from another martial art...
When cycling to work, I daydream about aikido. How I was uke for kote gaeshi yesterday evening, and why I performed it so badly, how it could have been done better, preferably about how fluently I did soto kaiten nage on XY and how it came that it worked all the time, and sometimes I also dream about it at night. Obviously, I look forward to it the whole day long.

That's about obsession. I don't see anything bad with it. I think it's something nice as far as it doesn't swallow the rest of your life.
But then, as far as for me, it's not the only source of happiness in my life.

Wishing you much fun, happiness and fulfillment in your further aikido career :-)

Eva
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Old 01-24-2012, 02:40 AM   #14
sakumeikan
Dojo: Sakumeikan N.E. Aikkai .Newcastle upon Tyne.
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,266
United Kingdom
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

Quote:
Rute Mendes wrote: View Post
Hey!
I'm new in this forum... Just started Aikido 4 months ago!
I'm a 15 years old girl from Portugal and there's something that's kind of worrying me: I'm started to get obsessed with Aikido! Seriously!
I think about it all the time... During the morning, afternoon, night (yes, I dream about Aikido very frequently ). I don't mind, actually... 4 months ago, all I did with my life was studying and going to facebook and useless websites like that one. Now I've got something worth living for, you understand?
I even think about it while in school classes... Like "hmmm would shihonage work with this person? or pehaps an iriminage? how would o'sensei react if someone attacked him? wowww aikido is great! can't wait until next class! oh! forgot we had maths homework! what do I do now? " :S
I know it sounds silly, as I started recently, but do you think it will end up affecting my studies? How shall I deal with this? Is it unhealthy?
Does anyone else feels an obsession for Aikido?

Please don't tell me to quit, it's absolutley out of question.

Thanks for reading ... Please reply.

Peace!
Hi Rute,
As a young guy many years ago I used to train as much as I could.I travelled extensively to see my teacher, a very well known shihan.At that time I had a wife and a young family.To my eternal shame I now realise I messed up.I should have spent more time with my family.Now at the age of 73 I am spending my time redressing the balance.Unfortunately my realization came a bit late.
As a young person there is so much more to enjoy outside Aikido. Broaden your horizons.Learn music, enjoy nature , visit new places and develop and cherish friends and family.
Train in Aikido by all means but do not become obsessed by it.Balance is everything be it in Aikido or in living.Wish I could turn the clock back.I would not do the same things again. All the best , Joe.
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Old 01-24-2012, 03:41 AM   #15
mrlizard123
Dojo: Templegate Dojo
Location: Bristol
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 129
United Kingdom
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

Quote:
Ashley Hemsath wrote: View Post
I'll also point out that my Shihan is constantly making plans for what to do in a situation where he has to fight.
https://www.xkcd.com/337/

Ars longa, vita brevis, occasio praeceps, experimentum periculosum, iudicium difficile
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Old 01-24-2012, 04:10 AM   #16
Mario Tobias
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 261
Philippines
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

Hi Rute,

It's OK to have this feeling of being obsessed. You are not the first person to be obsessed with this art. In good time, your aikido will get incorporated naturally in your life's routine. Look for something to balance it out though.

Over the years or decades when you are still practicing, you will undergo cycles of highs and lows. The important thing is how you deal with the lows since these times are much more difficult to confront than the feelings you are feeling right now.

An extreme low for me was a time when I questioned whether I will still continue aikido because I was going nowhere. I was searching for the secrets to unlocking what Aikido is. I am glad I didn't quit because I learned what the Aikido secret is.

The secret to Aikido is there is no secret.

The secret is the "keiko".....It is going to the dojo attending training day in day out even in times you don't feel like it.

Last edited by Mario Tobias : 01-24-2012 at 04:18 AM.
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Old 01-24-2012, 06:13 AM   #17
phitruong
Dojo: Charlotte Aikikai Agatsu Dojo
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,944
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

Quote:
Mario Tobias wrote: View Post
The secret to Aikido is there is no secret.
.
what!! there is no secret ingredient in aikido? but .... but that old used-budo guy, the one with picture hung in various dojo, who sold me the goods told me that there were secrets in aikido! i have been trying to find the secrets for years now. ok, i am going to find the old guy and aiki nuking him to the moon!

as far as obsession goes, there are various professional psycho folks who do aikido who might be able to help you. there is a support group AA, Aikido Anonymous, that has a 6 steps program.

1. regularly apply nikkyo
2. if #1 didn't do the job, apply sankyo
3. if #2 didn't do the job, apply yonkyo
4. switch to shihonage
5. koshinage and WWE body slam
6. if the above didn't work, invite dojo mates go to local pub and proceed with the 12 beers (root beer for underage) on the table approach

"budo is putting on cold, wet, sweat stained gi with a smile and a snarl" - your truly
http://charlotteaikikai.org
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Old 01-24-2012, 07:06 AM   #18
Richard Stevens
Location: Indianapolis
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 165
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

You're supposed to be obsessed with something, you're 15. Better Aikido than some boy.
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Old 01-24-2012, 07:18 AM   #19
Marie Noelle Fequiere
 
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Dojo: Atibon Aikido, Port Au Prince, Haiti
Location: Port au Prince
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Haiti
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

Quote:
Rute Mendes wrote: View Post
Ahh don't worry! I though that too!
Of course I forgive you
Phewww! Thanks!
One more time, welcome to the gang, I promise you almost as much fun here as you will find on the mat.
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Old 01-24-2012, 01:06 PM   #20
sakumeikan
Dojo: Sakumeikan N.E. Aikkai .Newcastle upon Tyne.
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

Quote:
Rich Hobbs wrote: View Post
Rich,
A good cartoon says a thousand words.Brilliant.This cartoon should be posted in every dojo.Cheers, Joe.
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Old 01-24-2012, 01:30 PM   #21
Conrad Gus
 
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Dojo: Eclipse Budo
Location: Victoria, BC
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Canada
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

Quote:
Rute Mendes wrote: View Post
Does anyone else feels an obsession for Aikido?

Please don't tell me to quit, it's absolutley out of question.

Thanks for reading ... Please reply.
When I first started doing aikido I was able to arrange my university courses to allow me to train a lot. I had a period of about two years where I could do aikido as much as I wanted. Then came marriage and kids, which required some re-prioritizing (not training as often). I am always glad that I started at a young enough age that I could just throw myself into it for a couple of years.

You're in an even better position. I think 15 is such a good age to start, because you are mature enough to train seriously with adults but young enough to not have many other responsibilities.

Enjoy yourself and be grateful for a sensei and a club. You're going to get so much out of this if you stick with it.

But do your math homework too!

Conrad
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Old 01-25-2012, 08:41 AM   #22
ryback
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 243
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

There is no such thing as ''unhealthy aikido obsession''.It's good to know that someone is so enthusiastic about it,it will help you on your training,i am obsessed as well!Aikido is a
very difficult martial art so it takes a lot of...so called obsession in order to be learned.Keep on practicing!
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Old 01-25-2012, 09:00 AM   #23
George S. Ledyard
 
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Dojo: Aikido Eastside
Location: Bellevue, WA
Join Date: Jun 2000
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

Quote:
Rute Mendes wrote: View Post
Hey!
I'm new in this forum... Just started Aikido 4 months ago!
I'm a 15 years old girl from Portugal and there's something that's kind of worrying me: I'm started to get obsessed with Aikido! Seriously!
I think about it all the time... During the morning, afternoon, night (yes, I dream about Aikido very frequently ). I don't mind, actually... 4 months ago, all I did with my life was studying and going to facebook and useless websites like that one. Now I've got something worth living for, you understand?
I even think about it while in school classes... Like "hmmm would shihonage work with this person? or pehaps an iriminage? how would o'sensei react if someone attacked him? wowww aikido is great! can't wait until next class! oh! forgot we had maths homework! what do I do now? " :S
I know it sounds silly, as I started recently, but do you think it will end up affecting my studies? How shall I deal with this? Is it unhealthy?
Does anyone else feels an obsession for Aikido?

Please don't tell me to quit, it's absolutley out of question.

Thanks for reading ... Please reply.

Peace!
Yes, it may effect your studies. Yes, it may cause you to not maximize your future income potential. Yes, it may cause you to take stupid jobs just so they don't interefere with your training. Yes, you may run through any number of relationships because it's hard to find partners who like the fact that they have to share you with Aikido.

If you find yourself in this category, you may be one of our future Shihan. That's where really high level expertise comes from... an obsessive focus on training.

George S. Ledyard
Aikido Eastside
Bellevue, WA
Aikido Eastside
AikidoDvds.Com
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Old 01-25-2012, 10:52 AM   #24
Pollack
Dojo: Two Cranes Aikido
Location: Seattle
Join Date: Nov 2010
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

Welcome Rute to the ranks of the Aikido obsessed! Listen well to Ledyard Sensei. I've only been training for 3 years, so mine is not a voice of experience in Aikido but very soon after starting I developed the same symptoms you described.

I came to the art much older (I'm now 47). So while I've occasionally bemoaned not starting in my youth, when my body was more malleable and my bad habits less ingrained, I do now have the benefit of a stable job with flexible hours and a very supportive family (both my kids train). This coupled with the fact that I live in Seattle, only 1/2 mile from my dojo, allows me to train essentially every day and attend weekend seminars with wonderful teachers nearly every month (Seattle is very rich in aikido).

I think that it is very important to follow your passions, so don't hold back. But do allow the choices you make to be those that "open doors" rather than restrict your future possibilities.

Finally, as a mathematician, I do heartily agree with Conrad's earlier reply:

Quote:
But do your math homework too!
With best wishes,
Dan
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Old 01-25-2012, 11:51 AM   #25
Nicholas Eschenbruch
Dojo: TV Denzlingen
Location: Freiburg
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 323
Germany
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Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession

Quote:
George S. Ledyard wrote: View Post
Yes, it may effect your studies. Yes, it may cause you to not maximize your future income potential. Yes, it may cause you to take stupid jobs just so they don't interefere with your training. Yes, you may run through any number of relationships because it's hard to find partners who like the fact that they have to share you with Aikido.

If you find yourself in this category, you may be one of our future Shihan. That's where really high level expertise comes from... an obsessive focus on training.
... and Rute, did you know you can actually do it full time? Here for example http://www.aikidomontreux.com or here http://aikidoofberkeley.com to name just two places I have visited and know the instructors of. From a couple of weeks in your school holidays to a number of years once you are a little older. Consider it - you might just as well take your obsession to the limit and make the most of it
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