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Old 01-06-2004, 10:33 AM   #26
Lyle Bogin
Dojo: Shin Budo Kai
Location: Manhattan
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 588
United_States
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Too much training makes life too simple I think.

My wife and I have found a good balance. The thing that I have found to be most important is to be home when I am home. In other words, I pay attention to her as much as I can when I am not training. I almost always cook a nice dinner as soon as I get back from the dojo, and give lots of foot massages. When we are on vacation, I really go on vacation.

Also, if you can find work that makes you feel as if you are directly using your mind/body skills, you are almost in the dojo all day long.

We'll see what happens after our first kid, haha.

"The martial arts progress from the complex to the simple."
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Old 01-06-2004, 02:35 PM   #27
Fred Little
Dojo: NJIT Budokai
Location: State Line NJ/NY
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 632
United_States
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Quote:
Chris Birke wrote:
Is leaving the same as approching something new?
This is a question that I have wrestled with for a long time.

Leaving presents the possibility of something new, to be sure.

While "running to" implies a destination which may provide a still point amid the tacks to and fro, "running from" is merely a point of departure which doesn't necessarily lead anywhere.

Even so, sometimes it's necessary to leave a bad situation in order to be clear enough to figure out what a good situation might look like.

Case by case.

Fred Little
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Old 01-06-2004, 02:35 PM   #28
AsimHanif
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 495
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Sue - You are a female. You have ALL the power. Use it!
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Old 01-06-2004, 07:03 PM   #29
Noel
Location: Rochester, NY
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 86
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FWW, I stopped practicing for a few years due to kid + long commute. Now that I've resumed (closer dojo, similar style), the better half (saint that she is) says I'm calmer and more patient than when I was on hiatus.

IMO Sue, if he's not happy with a reasonable committment to something that's a part of your life, you've got some serious stuff to discuss. You won't be the same person, and if it's a control thing, you've got trouble too.

What will allow you to look at yourself in the mirror in 5 or 10 years and think you made the best decision you could have?

Good luck,

-Noel
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Old 01-07-2004, 02:17 AM   #30
philipsmith
Dojo: Ren Shin Kan
Location: Birmingham
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 358
United Kingdom
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Finding a work/aikido/life balnce is always difficult.

I agree with Lyle. We expect 100% comittment in the dojo so when at home BE at home, when on vacation BE on vacation.

Also support your partner in whatever he/she does.

In essence compromise, that is the basis for any strong long-lasting relationship.

As my wife says about Aikido "It's just a hobby"; at least that her point of view.
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Old 01-15-2004, 12:36 AM   #31
suebailey
Location: sunderland
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 52
England
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thanks for all your help leaving him is not an opption i love him to much as corny as that may sound.

Were taking it up together private lessons and he's said I can rejoin any of my groups i want.

Thanks every one

sue

with out the heart there can be no understanding between body and mind and if u have never linked ur self to true emptiness you will never comprehend the full dimension of aikido.
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