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Old 05-14-2014, 07:25 AM   #1
dps
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How To Make Friends With Aikido

For the past thirty years I have seen and heard that if you neutralize an attacker using Aikido they will become your friend.

Does anyone have an example of this?

dps
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Old 05-14-2014, 08:38 AM   #2
lbb
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

I suppose it would depend on how wise the attacker is. They'd need to be wise enough to recognize that you'd acted with restraint, but still foolish enough to have attacked you in the first place.
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Old 05-14-2014, 08:56 AM   #3
Mary Eastland
 
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

When I read that I thought you were trying to reconcile with aikido. ;o)

When I am immersed in class the whole world seems like a friendly place. The feeling helps me be more at peace with the world.

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Old 05-14-2014, 10:42 AM   #4
Janet Rosen
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

I have never read, heard, been told that....would love to see actual citations?

Janet Rosen
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"peace will enter when hate is gone"--percy mayfield
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Old 05-14-2014, 01:44 PM   #5
jonreading
 
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

http://youtu.be/iXVO8NLb4AQ

It still makes me laugh, "That's how Ghandi would fight if he was a fighter."

The sad part is that the stereotype of aikido is strong enough to support spoofing...

For the record, we practice soothing sounds in chokes, too.

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Old 05-14-2014, 03:12 PM   #6
Riai Maori
 
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

Quote:
Jon Reading wrote: View Post
http://youtu.be/iXVO8NLb4AQ

It still makes me laugh, "That's how Ghandi would fight if he was a fighter."
"Developed by the Chinese and bought to America"

Thanks for the laugh

Motto tsuyoku
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Old 05-14-2014, 03:53 PM   #7
Edgecrusher
 
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

Never heard of that however, I am sure that after a fight you could become friends with the unsuccessful attacker. Of course that would also depend on how they were neutralized.
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Old 05-14-2014, 04:40 PM   #8
Keith Larman
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

Never heard that either. Sure, some folk get kinda "touchy/feely" about this stuff and I get deescalation and trying to defuse an angry person, but I'm pretty sure tossing some poor fella on his head or cranking his arm into a painful position isn't going to make many friends, especially if they really are trying to do you harm.

Of course there's always that god-awful segment in the oil/environmental Alaska based Seagal movie. But I think that segment was supposed to be more about Stevie's god-like powers of reincarnated spiritual-dude sensitive-pony-tail-man testosterone soaked persuasion than about Aikido itself... But hey, opinions vary I suppose...

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Old 05-14-2014, 04:48 PM   #9
dps
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

http://aikidomugenjuku.wordpress.com/about/

Under '' The Philosophy of Aikido ''.

Only one example, looking for others.

dps
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Old 05-14-2014, 06:09 PM   #10
kewms
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

There are examples where people who came to challenge Ueshiba Sensei became his students.

Certainly causing an attacker to give up in frustration because you have no openings will give him more of an opportunity to become your friend than slicing him to ribbons with your sword would.

But it seems to me that much would depend on the attacker's underlying motivation. Is the attacker just a belligerent drunk who might see the error of his ways when sober? Or is he seriously trying to kill or rob you for whatever reason?

And there's also the question of whether you even want to be his friend.

The "two guys get in a fight, then become friends" trope is of course a Hollywood buddy movie staple. To the extent that it happens in real life, I would say it has more to do with realizing that the underlying causes of the fight were dumb than with the particular skills deployed by either person.

Katherine

Last edited by kewms : 05-14-2014 at 06:13 PM.
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Old 05-14-2014, 09:10 PM   #11
Cliff Judge
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

You want to make friends with Aikido? Bring some decent beer. Aikido will at least pretend like it is your friend.
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Old 05-15-2014, 01:58 AM   #12
dps
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

http://www.eastbayaikido.com/overview/description.html

Paragraph three.

dps
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Old 05-15-2014, 02:16 AM   #13
kewms
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

Maybe you should ask the instructors at East Bay Aikido for clarification?

Katherine
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Old 05-15-2014, 07:53 AM   #14
lbb
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

Quote:
Katherine Derbyshire wrote: View Post
Maybe you should ask the instructors at East Bay Aikido for clarification?
Yeah, that was my thought. You've produced two cites; maybe you should ask the authors, not us.
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Old 05-15-2014, 10:21 AM   #15
dps
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

After the times I had to use Aikido to prevent someone from physically harming me, they would not come near me or speak to me. So I was curious if anyone on Aikiweb was able to convince someone to become a friend or treat them friendlier after using Aikido on them.

I don't want explanations of what is meant just examples, besides Shioda Sensei is dead.

dps
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Old 05-15-2014, 02:22 PM   #16
Kevin Leavitt
 
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

Not sure about making friends, but I believe that if you do things correctly, you do not provide input or feedback to a situation that provides a basis for your opponent to continue to fight back or struggle.

In that sense, I think you limit further conflict. I suppose you could translate this into making friends.

I am personally not so concerned with "making friends" with my enemy as much as I am establishing a relationship built on respect and understanding. That may be that he understands that continuing to sturggle will do him no good. Or it could be the understanding that I do not plan on doing him harm past the point that he is willing to engage.

I just finished a high level meeting with the Angolan military in which we are working to improve our relationships after many years of bad blood. I was not concerned with making friends, but furthering an understanding and mutual respect for one another. That is to build trust and find common ground were we can meet in the middle and begin to grow/foster a relationship. While we gained a better understanding during our meetings, I would not say we made any friendships...and that is okay.

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Old 05-15-2014, 03:21 PM   #17
Phil Van Treese
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

When I was a deputy sheriff, now retired, I dropped a lot of people because they deserved it. I don't think they wanted to be one of my friends then nor do they want to be friends now. If they did, I'd shown them again what I did to them---splat!!!!
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Old 05-15-2014, 04:35 PM   #18
dps
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

Quote:
Cliff Judge wrote: View Post
You want to make friends with Aikido? Bring some decent beer. Aikido will at least pretend like it is your friend.
Until the beer is gone.

dps
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Old 05-15-2014, 04:42 PM   #19
dps
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

Quote:
Kevin Leavitt wrote: View Post
I am personally not so concerned with "making friends" with my enemy as much as I am establishing a relationship built on respect and understanding. That may be that he understands that continuing to sturggle will do him no good. Or it could be the understanding that I do not plan on doing him harm past the point that he is willing to engage.
Good point.

Friendship is based on trust, I find it impossible to trust someone who has tried to harm me.
A relationship based on understanding and respect for what you can do to the person who has tried to harm you is my experience.
dps

Last edited by dps : 05-15-2014 at 04:56 PM.
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Old 05-15-2014, 04:58 PM   #20
dps
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

Quote:
Phil Van Treese wrote: View Post
When I was a deputy sheriff, now retired, I dropped a lot of people because they deserved it. I don't think they wanted to be one of my friends then nor do they want to be friends now. If they did, I'd shown them again what I did to them---splat!!!!


dps
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Old 05-15-2014, 05:10 PM   #21
kewms
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

Quote:
David Skaggs wrote: View Post
Good point.

Friendship is based on trust, I find it impossible to trust someone who has tried to harm me.
A relationship based on understanding and respect for what you can do to the person who has tried to harm you is my experience.
dps
Neither "trust" nor "friendship" is binary. Or "harm," for that matter. There are plenty of people who I genuinely like but wouldn't trust in a variety of situations. There are plenty of people who I trust within the boundaries of our existing relationship, but with whom I don't feel any need to become more closely acquainted.

Katherine
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Old 05-15-2014, 05:10 PM   #22
Janet Rosen
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

Excellent points. There is a world of difference between "applying aikido in daily life" - like "verbal aikido" or paraverbal techniques - to deal with workplace or family conflict and actually using physical technique with a real attacker. The latter become a friend? Not in my world. I can choose not to create an image of the person as The Enemy, I can choose not to hate, but certainly wouldn't embrace as a friend.

Janet Rosen
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"peace will enter when hate is gone"--percy mayfield
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Old 05-15-2014, 05:18 PM   #23
dps
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

Quote:
Katherine Derbyshire wrote: View Post
Neither "trust" nor "friendship" is binary. Or "harm," for that matter. There are plenty of people who I genuinely like but wouldn't trust in a variety of situations. There are plenty of people who I trust within the boundaries of our existing relationship, but with whom I don't feel any need to become more closely acquainted.

Katherine
What do you mean by ''binary'' in context of trust, harm, friendship?

dps
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Old 05-15-2014, 05:32 PM   #24
kewms
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

Quote:
David Skaggs wrote: View Post
What do you mean by ''binary'' in context of trust, harm, friendship?

dps
I don't necessarily completely trust or completely distrust someone. I might trust them in some situations but not others, or only up to a certain line.

Similarly, there are degrees of friendship, from casual business or social acquaintance up to someone I'd want with me for the best and worst that life has to offer.

And degrees of harm, from "gave me a shove when drunk" to "broke into my house with a firearm." Not to mention all the varieties of non-physical harm.

Shades of gray, not black and white.

Katherine
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Old 05-15-2014, 09:17 PM   #25
dps
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Re: How To Make Friends With Aikido

Quote:
David Skaggs wrote: View Post
So I was curious if anyone on Aikiweb was able to convince someone to become a friend or treat them friendlier after using Aikido on them.
My apologies, the above sentence in post #15 should of said ''.....to treat you friendlier....''.

dps
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