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Old 06-07-2012, 10:40 AM   #1
"user 32"
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student seems to not like you as a person

Does anyone have any experience with a student who responds well to other teachers and doesn't seem to like you or the way that you teach?
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Old 06-07-2012, 01:49 PM   #2
Chris Li
 
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Re: student seems to not like you as a person

Quote:
Anonymous User wrote: View Post
Does anyone have any experience with a student who responds well to other teachers and doesn't seem to like you or the way that you teach?
Sure, nobody gets along with everybody, not even Morihei Ueshiba.

Best,

Chris

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Old 06-07-2012, 02:00 PM   #3
Janet Rosen
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Re: student seems to not like you as a person

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Anonymous User wrote: View Post
Does anyone have any experience with a student who responds well to other teachers and doesn't seem to like you or the way that you teach?
Yep. Life is like that, people are like that.

If you examine your own practice, teaching, etc and see no specific thing you wish to change as a result of that examination, then it's his problem, not your's.

Janet Rosen
http://www.zanshinart.com
"peace will enter when hate is gone"--percy mayfield
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Old 06-07-2012, 05:47 PM   #4
gregstec
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Re: student seems to not like you as a person

As had been said, not everyone will get along - however, in a teacher student relationship, there will be no transmission of knowledge unless both student and teacher have a mutual respect. As the teacher, if there are others you are having a problem with, look within for the problem - but if it is just one individual, then I would inquiry as to why there is a problem; it just might be a misunderstanding of some sort - good luck!

Greg
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Old 06-07-2012, 05:52 PM   #5
Rob Watson
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Re: student seems to not like you as a person

I find a great many folk are too stuck inside their own heads to notice the the effect they have on others. Wait a minute ... are we talking about me?

"In my opinion, the time of spreading aikido to the world is finished; now we have to focus on quality." Yamada Yoshimitsu

Ultracrepidarianism ... don't.
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Old 06-08-2012, 07:01 AM   #6
morph4me
 
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Re: student seems to not like you as a person

If I had a problem with a particular teacher, I wouldn't go to his or her class or I'd find another place to train. If someone has a problem with me, I try to let it remain their problem, I have enough of my own.

"Logical consequences are the scarecrows of fools and the beacons of wise men" - Thomas Henry Huxley
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Old 06-08-2012, 07:12 AM   #7
JJF
 
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Re: student seems to not like you as a person

If I for some reason get p..... off by somebody on the mat (or off) I try to use it as a chance to learn something about myself. Sometimes I fail.. sometimes I actually learn something of value.

Usually I find that what I don't like about them is something that reflects back on me, so it's a great chance to get a more varied look upon one self.

It takes an effort though which again requires energy and time, and sometimes it's better to just accept the fact that we can't always get along with everybody.

Since the problem here is different then try not to let it bother you too much. Unless this individual is stirring up a bad feeling towards you among the other students, then just treat him/her with respect and as little interaction as possible. If on the other hand it has a negative effect on the class or the dojo then go with Greg's suggestion and ask (in the proper setting) if there is something you have done or said that for some reason makes him hostile towards you.

Good luck

- Jørgen Jakob Friis

Inspiration - Aspiration - Perspiration
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Old 06-10-2012, 06:43 AM   #8
Mary Eastland
 
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Re: student seems to not like you as a person

If a student likes me or not doesn't matter as much as how I treat that student. If a student does not respond well to me I am not resposible for their behavior only my own. I can ask for certain things and see what happens.

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Old 06-13-2012, 12:21 AM   #9
"Noob Point of View"
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Re: student seems to not like you as a person

could this situation just be a big misunderstanding? like a communication a cultural or that sort of misunderstanding problem. maybe? i hope it is something like a misunderstanding that can be easily clear up. good luck
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Old 06-13-2012, 03:04 AM   #10
sakumeikan
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Re: student seems to not like you as a person

Dear User 32/others,
Why waste time thinking about such matters?Who cares if somebody likes you or not?Just get on with the business of training.If you cannot get on with somebody just ignore the person.Simple.
Cheers, Joe,
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Old 06-13-2012, 09:35 AM   #11
Dazzler
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Re: student seems to not like you as a person

Quote:
Joe Curran wrote: View Post
Dear User 32/others,
Why waste time thinking about such matters?Who cares if somebody likes you or not?Just get on with the business of training.If you cannot get on with somebody just ignore the person.Simple.
Cheers, Joe,
Did somebody say something? Can't hear a thing....
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Old 02-06-2013, 11:54 PM   #12
"anony"
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Re: student seems to not like you as a person

Don't mean to revive old posts,
ignoring someone in your class can be awkward. I have tried it.
You never can really get it out of your mind and others will pick up on it.
My experience has been to struggle, think about whether my own sensei would approve of me abandoning this kohai, the answer was always no, and I would have changes of heart.
And struggle some more.

One aikidoka was actually abusive when shihan was away and it rattled me. But there was a childishness about him and in the long run I could feel a sort of affection for him.

I bet parents have this same problem with their kids all the time, feel their kids don't like them.

Well, ignoring things they do is maybe good after all but not ignoring and not abandoning them.

I don't like to ignore people. I want to try to talk to them straight without patronizing or intimidating.

It works sometimes, when I am one with the Tao and safe with tigers. That's a place to set our sights.
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