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Old 02-18-2012, 01:19 PM   #1
lbb
Location: Massachusetts
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Just doesn't matter

In the past week, two women have told me that they have cancer.

I have another friend who is dying.

I'm overwhelmed right now, and really, all I can think...

...is that there's an awful lot of stupid crap...

...that just. doesn't. matter.
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Old 02-18-2012, 01:27 PM   #2
hughrbeyer
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Re: Just doesn't matter

This past spring, both my mother and my wife were diagnosed with cancer. 2 operations, radiation treatments, and chemo treatments later, they are both doing fine. Buck up and best of luck.
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Old 02-18-2012, 02:12 PM   #3
sakumeikan
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Re: Just doesn't matter

Quote:
Mary Malmros wrote: View Post
In the past week, two women have told me that they have cancer.

I have another friend who is dying.

I'm overwhelmed right now, and really, all I can think...

...is that there's an awful lot of stupid crap...

...that just. doesn't. matter.
Dear Mary,
As you say there is a lot of crap which does not matter.Real issues like facing your own demise or that of a friend makes you relise what is important.I do hope your friends[and Hughs also ] get well soon.Joe
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Old 02-18-2012, 02:21 PM   #4
ChrisHein
 
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Re: Just doesn't matter

If you want to get right down to it, Mary, nothing really matters from the perspective of the future, or what will be. Future thought is always governed by the idea of memory. But memory can only happen right now. The universe will still be here long after you and all your friends have been forgotten (all of us that is). And then eventually the whole universe will be gone, and there will be no one to remember that. So, if you're basing everything on memories of the past, and projections of the future, nothing really matters.

What does matter, what is real, is right now. There is right now, and we can all be sure of that. Even if you're dying (and we all are) you still have right now. Don't let thoughts of the future prevent you from being now. Now is real, and matters, live it, enjoy it, even if it seems like there may be no tomorrow, because eventually there won't be.

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Old 02-18-2012, 03:13 PM   #5
Pauliina Lievonen
 
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Re: Just doesn't matter

Mary, nothing to say really but to offer sympathy and wish you and your friends strength.

Pauliina
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Old 02-18-2012, 10:47 PM   #6
mathewjgano
 
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Re: Just doesn't matter

Quote:
Mary Malmros wrote: View Post
In the past week, two women have told me that they have cancer.

I have another friend who is dying.

I'm overwhelmed right now, and really, all I can think...

...is that there's an awful lot of stupid crap...

...that just. doesn't. matter.
Yes. I'm sorry to hear about what you and your friends are going through. It is tough to know that good lives are all too often cut short; that while some folks are battling for their lives, others are jousting with windmills. It's a mad world and life is too often bittersweet...
I hope your friends get better or at the least are with minimal discomfort. At least they have a friend who cares so much for them...that's more than many.
Take care,
Matthew

Gambarimashyo!
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Old 02-19-2012, 12:57 AM   #7
dps
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Re: Just doesn't matter

Quote:
Mary Malmros wrote: View Post
In the past week, two women have told me that they have cancer.

I have another friend who is dying.

I'm overwhelmed right now, and really, all I can think...

...is that there's an awful lot of stupid crap...

...that just. doesn't. matter.
It is a shame that it takes sickness and death to make us realize what is crap and what is not.
My sympathies to you and your friends.

dps
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Old 02-20-2012, 07:23 AM   #8
lbb
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Re: Just doesn't matter

Thank you all for the kind thoughts. Really, it meant a lot. I'm an optimistic person; it was just an awful lot all at once. But, thank you all, for showing me some more about yourselves and the kindness in your hearts. It is a gift that I will cherish.
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Old 02-20-2012, 01:21 PM   #9
Janet Rosen
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Re: Just doesn't matter

Mary, insofar as the universe is concerned, nothing matters; insofar as humans are concerned, each small thing matters.... holding you and your friends in my heart.

Janet Rosen
http://www.zanshinart.com
"peace will enter when hate is gone"--percy mayfield
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Old 02-20-2012, 01:47 PM   #10
Keith Larman
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Re: Just doesn't matter

Mary,

There's nothing like mortality to remind us all that each moment is precious. I've lost a good friend, lost my cherished dog of almost 15 years, dealt with a relative with advancing Alzheimers, and found out that my nephew's premature son that he worked so hard to help in to this world wasn't really his son. So much pain. So much to deal with. So yeah, it does give an attitude adjustment to a lot of things.

But just today I saw this photo on my Facebook feed, courtesy of George Takei of all people. The expression on that boy's face puts a lot of things in perspective for me.

Take care.
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Old 02-20-2012, 04:58 PM   #11
gates
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Re: Just doesn't matter

Mary,
I hope your friends find the strength and courage they need to face these challenges. I am certain you will be there to support them in whatever way you can.

Life is so beautiful and so fragile.
Keith

Enjoy the journey
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Old 02-21-2012, 06:25 AM   #12
oisin bourke
 
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Re: Just doesn't matter

All the best to you and your friends, Mary.
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Old 02-21-2012, 07:09 AM   #13
genin
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Re: Just doesn't matter

"Each day of human life contains joy and anger, pain and pleasure, darkness and light, growth and decay. Each moment is etched with nature's grand design - do not try to deny or oppose the cosmic order of things."
~Morihei Ueshiba
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Old 02-21-2012, 06:24 PM   #14
Cady Goldfield
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Re: Just doesn't matter

Be kind, because everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. -- Philo of Alexandria

All good wishes to you, Mary, and hope for your friends and to all here who are fighting great battles and carrying great burdens.
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Old 02-22-2012, 03:39 PM   #15
phitruong
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Re: Just doesn't matter

just doesn't matter because you care too much

"budo is putting on cold, wet, sweat stained gi with a smile and a snarl" - your truly
http://charlotteaikikai.org
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Old 05-31-2012, 10:35 AM   #16
lbb
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Re: Just doesn't matter

Little update here.

First woman got a scare but dodged a bullet. Her condition was detected by a test that her insurer didn't want to pay for, and was dealt with effectively. She's now working as a volunteer to get free screening services to low income women.

Second woman went through six weeks of sheer hell cancer treatments followed by six weeks of nail-biting waiting, followed by tests that show her to be free of cancer. She'll be watching things like a hawk for some time, but she got the best outcome possible in this timeframe.

There's so much sorrow in our lives. It always helps when people say, "Yeah, I been there too." It's one of the things that does matter.

Thanks, friends.
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Old 05-31-2012, 02:13 PM   #17
mathewjgano
 
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Re: Just doesn't matter

Quote:
Mary Malmros wrote: View Post
Little update here.

First woman got a scare but dodged a bullet. Her condition was detected by a test that her insurer didn't want to pay for, and was dealt with effectively. She's now working as a volunteer to get free screening services to low income women.

Second woman went through six weeks of sheer hell cancer treatments followed by six weeks of nail-biting waiting, followed by tests that show her to be free of cancer. She'll be watching things like a hawk for some time, but she got the best outcome possible in this timeframe.

There's so much sorrow in our lives. It always helps when people say, "Yeah, I been there too." It's one of the things that does matter.

Thanks, friends.
I was just thinking about this a few days ago...thank you for the update! I'm glad they're doing well!

Gambarimashyo!
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Old 05-31-2012, 04:48 PM   #18
sakumeikan
Dojo: Sakumeikan N.E. Aikkai .Newcastle upon Tyne.
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Re: Just doesn't matter

Quote:
Mary Malmros wrote: View Post
Little update here.

First woman got a scare but dodged a bullet. Her condition was detected by a test that her insurer didn't want to pay for, and was dealt with effectively. She's now working as a volunteer to get free screening services to low income women.

Second woman went through six weeks of sheer hell cancer treatments followed by six weeks of nail-biting waiting, followed by tests that show her to be free of cancer. She'll be watching things like a hawk for some time, but she got the best outcome possible in this timeframe.

There's so much sorrow in our lives. It always helps when people say, "Yeah, I been there too." It's one of the things that does matter.

Thanks, friends.
Dear Mary,
When you come face to face with death and death passes you by,you realize that living for today whether its a good /bad day is all that matters.I am sure your friends will have learned this truth.What is past is gone and cannot be changed, tomorrow may never come, now is all that matters.Please pass my good wishes to your friends on my behalf.I hope you are well, best regards, Joe.
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Old 05-31-2012, 09:33 PM   #19
hughrbeyer
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Re: Just doesn't matter

Glad to hear everything's going so well. Hang in there and stay strong--they'll need your support for a while yet.
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