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Old 08-02-2010, 07:37 PM   #1
Allen Beebe
Location: Portland, OR
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 530
United_States
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Aikido Jokes

I was cutting up lumber for a set of stairs today and started making up "Aikido Jokes" to myself and thought I'd share:

Q: You are enjoying casual conversation among friends when you suddenly find yourself challenged and attacked by a group apparently trained in the art of Aikido. What should you do?

A: Turn off your browser.

Q: Why do Aikidoists attack by grabbing the wrists?

A: It makes it harder to type.

Q: Does Aikido work in a fight?

A: It depends on the forum.

Can I quit my day job?

~ Allen Beebe
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Old 08-03-2010, 10:49 AM   #2
gregstec
Dojo: Aiki Kurabu
Location: Elizabethtown, PA
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,110
United_States
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Re: Aikido Jokes

Quote:
Allen Beebe wrote: View Post
I was cutting up lumber for a set of stairs today and started making up "Aikido Jokes" to myself and thought I'd share:

Q: You are enjoying casual conversation among friends when you suddenly find yourself challenged and attacked by a group apparently trained in the art of Aikido. What should you do?

A: Turn off your browser.

Q: Why do Aikidoists attack by grabbing the wrists?

A: It makes it harder to type.

Q: Does Aikido work in a fight?

A: It depends on the forum.

Can I quit my day job?
You may be on to some 'hidden in plain sight' secrets here
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Old 08-03-2010, 09:07 PM   #3
Rob Watson
Location: CA
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 698
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Re: Aikido Jokes

Quote:
Allen Beebe wrote: View Post
Can I quit my day job?
That depends on where the stairs lead.

"In my opinion, the time of spreading aikido to the world is finished; now we have to focus on quality." Yamada Yoshimitsu

Ultracrepidarianism ... don't.
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Old 08-03-2010, 10:19 PM   #4
Janet Rosen
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Location: Left Coast
Join Date: May 2002
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Re: Aikido Jokes

Q. You are asked if aikido works against kicks.
A. Reboot.
(oy I can't believe I wrote that groaner)

Janet Rosen
http://www.zanshinart.com
"peace will enter when hate is gone"--percy mayfield
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Old 02-11-2011, 04:21 PM   #5
JCT53
Dojo: Just This Aikido
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 59
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Re: Aikido Jokes

Quote:
Janet Rosen wrote: View Post
Q. You are asked if aikido works against kicks.
A. Reboot.
(oy I can't believe I wrote that groaner)
That one made me laugh

"Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment."
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Old 02-11-2011, 04:31 PM   #6
Hellis
Dojo: Ellis Schools of Traditional Aikido
Location: Bracknell
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 604
England
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Re: Aikido Jokes

Q: Which Aikido techniques do Lepers practice.

A: No touch throws.

Henry Ellis
http://aikido-controversy.blogspot.com/
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Old 02-27-2011, 02:11 PM   #7
Erik Cornelius
Dojo: Vejle Aikido
Location: Horsens
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 4
Denmark
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Re: Aikido Jokes

This is a true story, but funny anyway

Q: So you are a martial artist ?
A: Yes
Q: What kind of martial art ?
A: Aikido
Q: OK. Where do you learn this Aikillyou, and is it good
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Old 02-27-2011, 09:02 PM   #8
Shadowfax
 
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Dojo: Allegheny Aikido, Pitsburgh PA
Location: Pittsburgh PA
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 885
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Re: Aikido Jokes

One night I was training with a fellow who happens to be Jewish. As we were working on a technique he, as nage, managed to basically wind up putting his hand in my mouth... not sure how that happened. So he looks me in the eye and says ,"well at least I'm kosher.".. I look back and reply... "so does this mean we are doing Kosher nage?"

Needless to say neither of us could stop laughing for several minutes.
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Old 02-28-2011, 10:14 AM   #9
Diana Frese
Dojo: Aikikai of S.W. Conn. (formerly)
Location: Stamford Connecticut
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 382
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Re: Aikido Jokes

Oh no, Cherie just reminded me with her story that New York is famous for Jewish food, (and Chinese, Cuban-Chinese, Puerto Rican --- in the old days when I was training, and now I'm sure Thai, Indian etc. etc.)

Well, after one p.m. class people might be looking for some place to eat.... One time someone took me to Nathan's, I think it was down on 14th st. and explained what the many side dishes were that were Jewish specialties.

There was a can of varnish near the desk at the dojo many weeks later and the same kind person who had taken me to Nathan's was asking what that was doing there....

I couldn't help myself, I just had to answer:

"To make Kasha Varnishkas!"

For those unfamiliar, that's buckwheat groats (look a little like wheatena but harmless for people allergic to wheat) with little bow tie pasta (usually made with wheat)

Anyway, great story Cherie!
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