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Old 11-25-2009, 10:12 AM   #1
Victoria Pitt
Dojo: Shinjinkai, Chicago, IL
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My gi makes me look fat.

I was looking in the mirror when I was practicing some strikes when I noticed:

"Gee, this gi makes me look fat."

Which kind of upset me as that though I am no skinny mini, I am certainly not fat. Hell, I've been warned more than once to not "muscle people to get them to do what you want" in class.

So I was looking at some of the girls who look so tiny in their gi. Some are wearing I guess karate gis. Some are just really tiny girls. (We have a lot of women in our dojo).

I then realized that I'm just the biggest chick in the dojo at the moment. =/

I guess its time to up the cardio because I hate thinking "gee, this gi makes me look fat" Which has finally replaced, "oh wow, there go my pants again!"

And like apples more than chocolate cake! =/

But my gi does make me look bigger than I am.

(p.s. I've been doing a lot of reading on here but I know where I train, we end up dripping in sweat by the time its over. I could ring my gi top out like a towel after practice. I don't understand the people who say that Aikido doesn't give you a work out.)

Last edited by Victoria Pitt : 11-25-2009 at 10:24 AM. Reason: Clarification of thought process as that I am muddy-brained today.

~Do one thing each day that scares you...~
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Old 11-25-2009, 10:28 AM   #2
MM
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

Quote:
Victoria Pitt wrote: View Post
I was looking in the mirror when I was practicing some strikes when I noticed:

"Gee, this gi makes me look fat."

Which kind of upset me as that though I am no skinny mini, I am certainly not fat. Hell, I've been warned more than once to not "muscle people to get them to do what you want" in class.

So I was looking at some of the girls who look so tiny in their gi. Some are wearing I guess karate gis. Some are just really tiny girls. (We have a lot of women in our dojo).

I then realized that I'm just the biggest chick in the dojo at the moment. =/

Kate Moss got in trouble for saying "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels".

I don't want to be "big samurai" woman.

I guess its time to up the cardio because I hate thinking "gee, this gi makes me look fat" Which has finally replaced, "oh wow, there go my pants again!"

And like apples more than chocolate cake! =/
Rena Glickman aka Rusty Kanokogi

(Credit to Interloper at RSF. http://rumsoakedfist.org/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=7153)

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/23/sp...kogi.html?_r=1

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vau...7/1/index.htmf

Excerpts

Quote:
What kind of a woman would do leg squats on the D train from Brooklyn to Manhattan each morning?

Or mistake an innocent Japanese university student for a pervert on a dance floor and pinch his rear end so hard he fled into the night?

Or rant and rumble until she had almost singlehandedly created the women's judo world championships and bullied women's judo into the Olympics?
Quote:
She was now a full-time instructor and coach, the years of her prime slipping away. When the first women's nationals were finally held in Phoenix in 1974, 15 months from her 40th birthday, she dropped 85 pounds in 13 weeks to compete in the 166-pound division, but with 2˝ hours left to weigh in, was still seven pounds over. On a 100° day, she pulled three rubber suits and two sweatsuits over her body, turned on the sink and shower hot-water faucets and began running in place in the steam, spitting furiously as she counted to a million. She made the weight and promptly doubled up with muscle cramps and diarrhea. As if in a hallucinogenic dream, she stepped onto the mat for the first round and began to fight, then dropped to her knees and spat up blood. A doctor rushed to the mat. "If you continue, you'd better win in the next 30 seconds," he informed her, "because you're going to die."

Don't die, Kanokogi. If you die you've lost, because they'll think you are weak. If you die, they'll think you're just a woman.

She didn't die, although the doctor at the hospital mentioned that she might have suffered a minor heart attack (she hadn't). "Wow!" people said to her now that she was thin. "You look great." She found herself standing before the mirror primping, patting her hair, holding up dresses. Then she looked into herself. "Screw this," she said and headed for the potato chips. Being large gave her a feeling of strength.
and

Quote:
Would they treat her differently if she behaved like a woman? Once, before entering a meeting, Kanokogi decided to try. She wriggled into a dress, caked on the mascara, rouge and lipstick, glued on the false eyelashes and crop-dusted herself with perfume. "I tonned it up," she says. "I went up to this official I was trying to charm—I even walked weak. 'Oh, what a lovely tie you have,' I said in my softest voice. I tried to bat my eyes and look innocent; I looked like I had an affliction. It was working, he was softening up, but I had to run to the bathroom and laugh. I felt like a jerk.

"Why the hell should we have to act? Do they have to act? The same ones who will watch women mud-wrestle and shout, 'Hey, look at those big balloons,' are the ones who say no to women's judo. Why? Because the women in it are real athletes, not just show. They can take care of themselves. Some men are intimidated by that. They think, What's the sense of being a man if we can't protect a woman?"
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Old 11-25-2009, 10:48 AM   #3
Linda Eskin
 
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Thumbs up Re: My gi makes me look fat.

Wow, Mark. Good stuff. Thank you for that.

Victoria, as I'm sure you know, there's big and strong, and big and fat. Nothing wrong with big. I'm 5'8", with size 11 feet, and wrists too big for most women's watches. I'm never going to be tiny, no matter what I weigh. I'm probably the biggest woman at my dojo (we have lots, too) - I'll have to look around. If you're unhealthy, sure hit the cardio. Get fit, train hard, eat well, and let the weight take care of itself.

I'm down over 30 pounds since starting Aikido in May, and in *much* better shape. But I still havve a bumper sticker on my car that says "Ride a draft, it'll make your but look smaller." (My horse is a 1,400 lb half-draft.) ;-) I'm sure I still look huge in a gi. LOL

If all else fails, listen to Saffire - The Uppity Blue Women's "There's Lightning in These Thunder Thighs". :-)

Linda Eskin - Facebook | My AikiBlog

"Heaven is right where you are standing, and that is the place to train." - Morihei Ueshiba
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Old 11-25-2009, 11:00 AM   #4
Victoria Pitt
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

Oh geesh... LOL... this totally didn't come off as I wanted it too. Hahah.

I am not "un-fit" and if you saw me in normal clothes, you'd have no idea that I in fact weigh as much as I do. It wasn't until later in life that I realized that though I do have some body-fat, I have quite a bit of strength (except for a weak lower back that I am working on). That's is where I carry the weight and it makes me on the stocky side (I guess you'd call me an endomorph)?

I am just complaining that the gi is the most unflattering outfit I've ever had to wear. There are people who wear theirs and they look great! Graceful even.

I'm the big old Clydesdale lumbering and lurching about in a bunch of cotton cloth.

Do not mistake me- I will throw your ass if I can and i'll put more than a little muscle into it. (Victoria, Victoria, STOP MUSCLING UKE... lol)

But then I'll check my lipstick.

I AM a tomboy. I just don't like looking unkempt.

And no, I don't re-adjust my gi constantly unless it's falling off (which we've fixed now, thanks!).

My gi makes me look fat and it makes me sad.

And I only notice it when I am practicing bokken in front of a mirror, otherwise it does not cross my mind.

I still don't think I'd switch to a karate gi- I imagine that you'd get more burns in them and my elbows already are looking like hell from mat/gi burn.

~Do one thing each day that scares you...~
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Old 11-25-2009, 11:09 AM   #5
Russ Q
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

Mirrors are distracting in a dojo.....tend to feed the ego.

Cheers,

Russ
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Old 11-25-2009, 11:16 AM   #6
Karo
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

Quote:
If you die you've lost, because they'll think you are weak. If you die, they'll think you're just a woman.
Mark, thank you for posting these excerpts. They show in a very succinct way how the weight of stereotypes limits our true human potential.

I want to be strong and athletic, confident and direct, but half the world (or more) insists on judging me for not being "feminine" (by which they mean weak, submissive, and pretty). It's not easy to disregard their opinions completely, but you have to stay true to yourself.

Victoria, just train. If you look in the mirror at all, look only to check your posture. Just train. In the long run, that's all that matters.

Karo
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Old 11-25-2009, 11:25 AM   #7
Victoria Pitt
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

Quote:
Russ Qureshi wrote: View Post
Mirrors are distracting in a dojo.....tend to feed the ego.

Cheers,

Russ
But are a good thing to use on occasion when you need to check form. We don't use mirrors of Aikido but do for new people in Iaido. Let me tell you- if I didn't "see" in the mirror what I was told I was doing wrong, I never would have been able to figure out what was wrong.

Which brings me to a tangent- Not everyone learns the same way. I know there is a tradition to how some things are taught but over time, especially decades, people change.

My posture is crap. I don't "feel" that my posture is crap. I'm comfortable. When I hold my bokken a certain way, telling me "well that should feel uncomfortable" doesn't fly with me because 9 times out of 10, the way you want me to do it is what feels unnatural and uncomfortable to me. This is where a visual reference to me helps loads. If I can see what I am doing, I know which body part to keep in check because it LOOKS wrong as opposed to FEELS wrong. (I hope I'm making sense here). Hence the mirrors for starting Iaido- I didn't know I was leaning forward as much as I am and I don't know what the right way to hold something FEELS like because I can's see where there right place is supposed to be.

Then again, I'm evil because I don't buy into the Yoda aspect of Aikido. Looking in a mirror as I am training has nothing to do with ego and everything to do with what proper form looks like and then feels like. It's natural to compare things. Its not different than if I saw a chick wearing the same outfit I was and wondered who could carry it off better. We're not talking about technique here. We're talking about fashion. I keep my "deep esoteric thoughts about the universe" out of my Aikido practice because I have other venues for that. I am mostly concerned about doing it correctly and feeling why its correct. Not if I am experiencing rapture as I throw or am thrown (though I have experienced the birdies around the head thing once or twice). Again, nothing to do with ego at all.

P.S.

I really don't get where people are getting the vibe that I am worried about if I am unfeminine or not from what I said. I ride a sport bike, live in jeans, and work in a male dominated field. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality (I know others are not), but that doesn't mean I don't like to look my best no matter what I do!

*sigh*

I give up.

Last edited by Victoria Pitt : 11-25-2009 at 11:29 AM.

~Do one thing each day that scares you...~
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Old 11-25-2009, 11:35 AM   #8
Janet Rosen
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

Heck, I look like a giant snowball in my gi, always have, probably always will.
Victoria, I feel your pain re the last post. I've been training on and off for 14 yrs and still sometimes have to have it pointed out that my posture or movement is not, in fact, how it "feels" to me like it is while I'm moving. I am wired with a very good sense of the purely internal workings of my body (overly sensitive to minor biochemical changes, always could tell if an injury or illness was organ versus soft tissue, etc). However, my sense of my body in relationship to the world (body boundaries and body in space) was always very poor. Its why I have always said I have no natural talent for aikido (or dance or anything movement based). Aikido has definitely given me the tools to improve in this area but it will always be my weak area.

Janet Rosen
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"peace will enter when hate is gone"--percy mayfield
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Old 11-25-2009, 11:36 AM   #9
Keith Larman
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

Quote:
Russ Qureshi wrote: View Post
Mirrors are distracting in a dojo.....tend to feed the ego.
As do short, deep sounding quotes placed with little regard for a larger context.

Oh, phooey, am I doing it too? Argh...

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Old 11-25-2009, 11:46 AM   #10
Victoria Pitt
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

Quote:
Janet Rosen wrote: View Post
Heck, I look like a giant snowball in my gi, always have, probably always will.
Victoria, I feel your pain re the last post. I've been training on and off for 14 yrs and still sometimes have to have it pointed out that my posture or movement is not, in fact, how it "feels" to me like it is while I'm moving. I am wired with a very good sense of the purely internal workings of my body (overly sensitive to minor biochemical changes, always could tell if an injury or illness was organ versus soft tissue, etc). However, my sense of my body in relationship to the world (body boundaries and body in space) was always very poor. Its why I have always said I have no natural talent for aikido (or dance or anything movement based). Aikido has definitely given me the tools to improve in this area but it will always be my weak area.
Thank you... but I'm stranger in that aspect. I have good balance and have always been able to keep my feet under me, no matter what you do. I've had some scary things on the motorcycle that if I didn't feel my own balance , I'd not be able to throw my weight around on the bike to get it to do what I want it to do. That being said, that is why I get so confused with some techniques. Everyone saying "well it would be natural to do this..." and in my head I'm thinking "um, no it isn't not to me.. to me that feels off balance and dangerous" So I nod my head and say "yes" because I know I am supposed to do what I am told and not what I "feel".

I can't dance.. But I can ice skate, roller blade, do anything that is kind of free-form physical. That is why Aikido IS such a challenge for me because I want to do things my way and I can't. That is why I signed up after my first class- finally something that I couldn't "bullshit and bravado*" my way through.

*you have no idea how many times THAT technique has saved my ass in the "real world". *wink*

~Do one thing each day that scares you...~
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Old 11-25-2009, 11:51 AM   #11
Janet Rosen
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

Quote:
Victoria Pitt wrote: View Post
That is why I signed up after my first class- finally something that I couldn't "bullshit and bravado*" my way through.
*you have no idea how many times THAT technique has saved my ass in the "real world". *wink*
This Brooklyn budobabe certainly DOES have a good idea :-)

Janet Rosen
http://www.zanshinart.com
"peace will enter when hate is gone"--percy mayfield
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Old 11-25-2009, 12:27 PM   #12
Howard Popkin
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

The all you can eat buffet makes me look fat, not my gi.

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Old 11-25-2009, 12:51 PM   #13
Mark Peckett
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

I don't know how long you've been practising, Victoria - but since you joined this forum quite recently I'll assume you're new. Beginners tend to tie their belts at their waist, and it does tend to make men look as if they have very long legs, and women look as if they have a large bust.

Just a suggestion, but try tying your belt around your hips with the knot firmly at your one point, and then tug your jacket down underneath. This might help.

I hate mirrors in the dojo because they make the light shine off my bald head!
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Old 11-25-2009, 01:00 PM   #14
ninjaqutie
 
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

I don't think too many women look flattering in gi's myself. We only have a few female in my dojo and I have yet to look over and think "Man, I wish I could pull off a gi like they do!" Aikido/judo gi's are more bulky, so they do make you look bigger. The only thing I could think of is if you bought Bujin's women cut gi. Since it is made to fit a women's body, perhaps it would flatter your shape more. I myself would like to get one of them (and their women's hakama) eventually.

I do have to admit that some people just tend to look more put together in a gi then others do. It is like their gi top stays tight, closed and just appears to stay that way effortlessly.

~Look into the eyes of your opponent & steal his spirit.
~To be a good martial artist is to be good thief; if you want my knowledge, you must take it from me.
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Old 11-25-2009, 01:01 PM   #15
Keith Larman
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

Don't worry about it. The only things I tend to notice are people who don't wash their gi enough (blech) and people who have a habit of eating too much garlic/etc. right before class. Apart from that I ain't paying much attention to anyone else in the dojo unless I'm teaching (in which case I'm focused on teaching) or training (in which case I'm worried about that other person trying to punch my lights out).

It's just training gear.

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Old 11-25-2009, 01:17 PM   #16
Russ Q
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

Quote:
But are a good thing to use on occasion when you need to check form. We don't use mirrors of Aikido but do for new people in Iaido. Let me tell you- if I didn't "see" in the mirror what I was told I was doing wrong, I never would have been able to figure out what was wrong.

Which brings me to a tangent- Not everyone learns the same way. I know there is a tradition to how some things are taught but over time, especially decades, people change.

My posture is crap. I don't "feel" that my posture is crap. I'm comfortable. When I hold my bokken a certain way, telling me "well that should feel uncomfortable" doesn't fly with me because 9 times out of 10, the way you want me to do it is what feels unnatural and uncomfortable to me. This is where a visual reference to me helps loads. If I can see what I am doing, I know which body part to keep in check because it LOOKS wrong as opposed to FEELS wrong. (I hope I'm making sense here). Hence the mirrors for starting Iaido- I didn't know I was leaning forward as much as I am and I don't know what the right way to hold something FEELS like because I can's see where there right place is supposed to be.

Then again, I'm evil because I don't buy into the Yoda aspect of Aikido. Looking in a mirror as I am training has nothing to do with ego and everything to do with what proper form looks like and then feels like. It's natural to compare things. Its not different than if I saw a chick wearing the same outfit I was and wondered who could carry it off better. We're not talking about technique here. We're talking about fashion. I keep my "deep esoteric thoughts about the universe" out of my Aikido practice because I have other venues for that. I am mostly concerned about doing it correctly and feeling why its correct. Not if I am experiencing rapture as I throw or am thrown (though I have experienced the birdies around the head thing once or twice). Again, nothing to do with ego at all.
Well explained. Your perspective certainly makes sense to me. From my own experience, I would still question the validity of mirrors in the dojo. I don't think we need to get into "deep esoteric thoughts about the universe" to see you are judging yourself (about looking fat in your gi) and that judgement is a manifestation of ones ego.

[quote]As do short, deep sounding quotes placed with little regard for a larger context.

Oh, phooey, am I doing it too? Argh./QUOTE]

Hi Keith, I like to keep it short so there is less opportunity to be misunderstood (especially in this millieu)! It also allows the reader to decide how it fits into the larger context for them.

Cheers,

Russ
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Old 11-25-2009, 01:18 PM   #17
Victoria Pitt
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

Quote:
Keith Larman wrote: View Post
Don't worry about it. The only things I tend to notice are people who don't wash their gi enough (blech)
Don't get me started on that one. Its like they wear it then stuff it in the bag until next time. Do you do that with your normal clothes? I have two gi (and will get a third in Jan because I train that much) and no more than two uses each then in the wash... sometimes just one!

~Do one thing each day that scares you...~
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Old 11-25-2009, 01:19 PM   #18
Russ Q
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

[quote]Don't worry about it. The only things I tend to notice are people who don't wash their gi enough (blech) and people who have a habit of eating too much garlic/etc. right before class. Apart from that I ain't paying much attention to anyone else in the dojo unless I'm teaching (in which case I'm focused on teaching) or training (in which case I'm worried about that other person trying to punch my lights out).

It's just training gear/QUOTE]

True dat.
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Old 11-25-2009, 01:30 PM   #19
Victoria Pitt
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

Quote:
I don't think we need to get into "deep esoteric thoughts about the universe" to see you are judging yourself (about looking fat in your gi) and that judgement is a manifestation of ones ego.
Here we go with the yoda stuff. . -which I respect your decision to train that way and view that way, but be careful not to project on other people your way. You way isn't the only way or even the "right way". It is the "right way" for you.

If you want to get into semantics, then everything one does in a day has to do with the ego- are my clothes clean? Did I get done today the tasks that I was supposed to? Did I make sure to be kind and courteous to everyone I encountered today? Breathing is ego as that you are concerned with intake of air in order to survive. If I wanted to, I could go deep into mumbo-jumbo that will leave everyone here so confused, yet sound so valid I must be a Bodhisattva come to life (which, when you think about it, even being selfless is having an ego as that to give someone something is still acknowledgment that you have something to give)!

I said "my gi makes me look fat". It was nothing deeper than that. It was an observation, and frankly I thought amusing. It does not affect the intensity of my training, willingness to learn, or respect I have for the sport.

I will however, make a joke at my, or your expense (if I know you have a sense of humor) because life is so goddamn serious.

That is half the reason why posting on here scares me; you have to be careful what you say as that people then tend to put too much thought an import on it (which, is to have an opinion on it, especially somewhat self righteous, having an ego?) Some of us are here because we like to have fun and learn. No more. No less.

~Do one thing each day that scares you...~
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Old 11-25-2009, 01:38 PM   #20
Russ Q
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

Hey Victoria,

I'm not judging you. I'm simply responding, from my experience (for what that is worth), to your original post which said in part:

Quote:
I was looking in the mirror when I was practicing some strikes when I noticed:

"Gee, this gi makes me look fat."

Which kind of upset me as that though I am no skinny mini, I am certainly not fat.
Perhaps I was stating the obvious, or being too serious, or not seeing the light heartedness or your post, or all three.

Namaste,

Russ

Last edited by akiy : 11-25-2009 at 02:06 PM. Reason: Fixed quoting
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Old 11-25-2009, 01:43 PM   #21
Shadowfax
 
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

Yeah mine to Vic.. but you know what? Uke is not busy noticing how fat your gi makes you look when he's flying across the mat.

The only people I have ever felt like maybe judged me by what I look like have quickly got over it the first time they tried to move me.

How I look used to bother me too. Now I just realize that I have to accept who I am and the body that genetics gave me. I'll never be skinny. All that white.. no not my favorite color to wear. Yet another reason to appreciate the hakima.
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Old 11-25-2009, 01:58 PM   #22
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

Quote:
Victoria Pitt wrote: View Post
P.S.

I really don't get where people are getting the vibe that I am worried about if I am unfeminine or not from what I said. I ride a sport bike, live in jeans, and work in a male dominated field. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality (I know others are not), but that doesn't mean I don't like to look my best no matter what I do!
What I got from your post was a lot more complicated than concern that you were "unfeminine", but I did get an element of that...a thread in a bigger fabric if you will. I think that without meaning it, you touched on some pretty big issues here. For example, you mention sexuality above...why? It isn't mentioned in your original post. Nor is male domination of certain fields of endeavor. Yet they're threads in this fabric.

Quote:
Victoria Pitt wrote: View Post
*sigh*

I give up.
What is it that you're giving up on? On communicating how you feel...or on getting unconditional validation for it? I think that it's entirely possible that we, your readers, are understanding various aspects of the "fabric" quite well (and some may even have some insights that you may not have considered -- which, it seems to me, is an excellent reason for posting a "I feel like xyz" post)...but that some of these insights may make you wince a bit. Anything close to the bone will have that effect.

I think that we, your readers, can say to you truthfully that the average person in the average dojo doesn't look at his/her fellow students and think, "Wow, he/she looks fat!" or "Goodness me, she doesn't look very ladylike!" or any such tripe. I think that you can read that and believe us -- intellectually. That doesn't fully put to rest all the many issues that are in this "fabric", however. You may feel that some of your respondents are going on a snipe hunt with all these issues that you didn't intend in your original post, but I have a feeling that the "this gi makes me look fat" feeling (or the "gosh, gis are really unflattering to the female figure" feeling, if you prefer) won't be dismissed with just the wave of a hand.
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Old 11-25-2009, 02:16 PM   #23
Victoria Pitt
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

^^ Of course it won't be dismissed because once people go running off at the bit, no one can stop them. It's human nature. It doesn't matter what the original intention of what something is, the masses will make it into what they want it to be.

Feminine I define as a part of one's sexuality or identity. I never mentioned it until someone else was posting stuff about how women are perceived and being strong and then there was another comment feeding into that and there we go- my point proven.. people make it into what they want it to be.

I'm a selfish person, I guess. I don't care what YOU think of me so much as I care what I think of me. "I look fat in this gi" does not equate to me thinking I am so important in the world that now I wonder what others think about how I look in the gi. It doesn't equate me with judging how you look in your gi. My mind does not operate like that. I'm pretty upfront in saying what I mean and meaning what I say, with no shadows or underlying psychological depths that need to be examined and explored for if I was abused as a kid (wink).

If I had said, "gee, I look fat in this dress" I would have gotten a much different response.

And I am giving up on communicating my thoughts because I forget that the way I think is backwards and inside out of how most people think. My thought process is just out there which is fine. I am highly amused at the moment, however... that is always a good thing.

Next time when I am having a random thought, I'll post "I look hot in my cycling gear" or, "country music makes me feel violent" except this is the wrong forum for that.

~Do one thing each day that scares you...~
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Old 11-25-2009, 02:32 PM   #24
Chris Covington
 
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

I remember someone saying to me once, "I used to have an ego, but not anymore." LOL

Chris Covington
Daito-ryu aikijujutsu
Kashima Shinden Jikishinkage-ryu kenjutsu
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Old 11-25-2009, 02:45 PM   #25
Shadowfax
 
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Re: My gi makes me look fat.

Why are you so upset? The thing about saying something in a public forum is people are going to use their own life experience and background to interpret your meaning and try to join in the conversation. If you don't want there to be a conversation... why make the post? Right? If the technique does not work... change techniques. Ok so maybe the thread went of in a different direction than you expected it to. Sometimes Ukes do that... You know this information and the points brought up are still valid, still good technique and they might just be exactly what someone else needs to see.

How did people get the idea you were worried about your femininity.. well lets have a look.

You looked in the mirror and were concerned how your gi makes you look.

The you compared yourself to other women in the dojo. Not just other people. Not other men too ....specifically, other women. Well I'd take that to mean you were concerned about not looking as nice in a gi as the slim girls. Hey I've taken note of those things myself. You know what? Gi's make everyone look fatter than street clothes. Wearing all white, especially loose cut ,not tailored all white, has that effect. I'll bet you the slim girls feel he same way.

Ok so we all know how it feels. We all can sympathize with how you feel. For some this may very well translate to feeling less feminine. In our society its not considered ok for a woman to be big strong and agressive/dominant. But some of us are all or some of those things. So even though you might not be the one who needs to know that its ok to be that way there are, some who will read this thread and maybe join in who do need to hear others say that yes it is perfectly ok to be who and what you are.

Look at it as a good thing. You might not have meant to start this particular discussion but it will still be useful information for others to appreciate. I ,for one, am really glad you posted this.
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